


Understated

by GhostPen1997



Category: Danger Days: The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys (Album), My Chemical Romance
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, BDSM, Better Living Industries, Danger Days: The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Torture, M/M, Multi, Smut, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-17
Updated: 2018-11-17
Packaged: 2019-08-24 23:35:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 20
Words: 63,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16650013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GhostPen1997/pseuds/GhostPen1997
Summary: Set in the KillJoy Universe-





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this a few years ago, on a prompt from a friend, which is why it takes a while to get into the flow- I like revisiting the characters though, so I'll update it- had big plans for the story of this, until I dropped it

“Hey!” Frank shouted as he jogged back towards the camp, “Can we get some help?”

Gerard and I smiled, shifting from the fallen trees we’d been using as benches to meet him half way, untangling our hands as we stood,

“Where’s Mikey?” he asked, looking around a tinge of nervousness in his eyes as he scanned the area for his brother, we both grabbed an armful of dried logs from Frank, the sweat coated man smiled as he looked over his shoulder and gestured towards the motorbike kicking up dust in the distance, relief flashed across Party Poison’s eyes as we turned back towards our campsite, the distant groan of the engine a nice change from the constant silence of the desert. 

“Anything interesting happen?” I queried partly wondering, but mainly I was asking so Gerard would stop shooting glances nervously into the surrounding areas, “Not really” Frank sighed, almost sounding disappointed, “We did a circuit to pick up Ray, but he’s probably still checking some things out in the city”

“Like what?” Gerard cut in, an unusual harshness in his tone, “What could he possibly still be-”

“Gee” I softened, shooting supportive eyes at Frank as we arrived back at our fire, “He’s a grown man” He huffed in response, when Funghoul didn’t reply, I shot a cautioning look at Gerard, his lips pursed and angry, ready to start a fight, I shook my head, putting a supportive hand on Frank’s shoulder, Gerard hissed something under his breath and dropped the logs he’d been holding and stormed into the yellow tent we shared, Frank went to follow but I shook my head again, this time a little more kindly, “let him sulk it out” I advised, he understood turning to see Mikey pull up on his bike, he stood, shaking his hair out of his helmet and placing 3 carrier bags of food around the fire, “Sup Kid?” I chuckled pulling him in for a hug, he embraced me and smiled largely, I grinned a little wider when he didn’t reject the nickname, he smelt of dirt, but he let the embrace linger longer than usual, I wondered what was wrong, he was Gerard’s younger brother by blood, but he was that for the rest of us by default, I felt oddly protective over him as we broke apart, 

“Got us some decent food for a change…” He glanced around camp as Frank had already began digging through the bags on the ground. “Where’s-” I smiled, sitting back on the makeshift benches, “In the tent” I looked over to where we could see Gerard’s hunched over sillouhette through the coloured shell, he was sitting looking down at something infant of him, I reached down and pulled out a soda can, popping it, “Heard you looked for Ray?” I pressed, Knowing flowed across Mikey’s eyes, “Yeah” he answered, “He must still be scouting, that tech he’s been chasing since Christa-” Frank sat next to me with a thud, “Whatever makes him feel any better man” the dark haired man spoke, remorse thickening his voice, losing Christa hadn’t been easy on the team, I hadn’t known her well, we’d all known that Ray loved her, and that she’d been planning on coming with us on a few future raids, until one routine run had gone off plan, I felt a pang of guilt, if I’d have been there I might have been able to save her, although based on what I’d heard it’d been unlikely, a quick head shot, we’d all found a little comfort in that, there was no injury, no rushing them to me where i’d try to fix them up with fishing line and old bandages or whatever I’d happened too scavenge, still, Jet Star hadn’t been the same since, he’d rambled on about some new technology we could use to hack cash points quicker than what we already had, Gerard hadn’t been coping well either, he’d taken too much responsibility, somethings were unavoidable, that’s what had stuck with me, what if I was next? I surpassed a shiver, I wouldn’t mind the being shot, what I’d mind was leaving the boys, leaving them with no one with any medical training, even basic survival skills, I’d taken Frank aside a week or two after the incident and explained my concerns, he’d protested a little, however I’d managed to go over some basic skills, stitching, cleaning, sterile verses not so sterile, noticing breaks and how to set them and bind them, Ray had taken an interest as a distraction, but it quickly shifted to other things as he mourned, Mikey warned me not to broach the subject with Gee, and I’d agreed, he had enough on his shoulders without that,I nodded in agreement, snapping back to the conversation in hand, “I’ll be glad to have him back” I noted quietly,

“But, if it’s what he needs to do” Frank burped, “God knows I wont stop him” he finished. 

After a few hours of eating and chatter the sun was starting to set, the air was starting to cool and there was a misty purple haze pulsing in the horizon where the city stood, “Shall I go check on Poison?” Mikey asked, yawning briefly, he looked uncomfortable at the idea, I smiled slightly, “I’ll go?” I offered, he looked at me gratefully, muttering a “Thanks” I returned his grin, my knees cracking as I stood up, I wiped the dust from my hands onto my stained jeans, they had turned from black to a faded grey and headed for the shelter, I undid the zip and was assaulted by the heat, the stale air exited quickly and I found Gerard sitting cross legged, unmoving,jotting down something in his sketch book, I crawled in, brushing him and he moved his legs for me to be able to sit, he kept his eyes down cast as I placed my hand on his thigh, “He’ll be back soon” I assured him softly, He inhaled then, looking up at me through his eyelashes, he looked tired, he sighed before dropping his pen and tucking a long strand of my hair behind my ear, “I know” he murmured, “I shouldn’t have snapped like that” he admitted,I kissed at his wrist as he withdrew his arm, “I just,” he leaned back on his hands, “I want to help” he explained, “You’re doing what you can” I reminded him, “You’re leading, You’re keeping the group together for whenever he’s ready to come home” I listed, when he looked at me unconvinced,“and you’re being his friend” Gerard Pouted, considering as I finished, “well” he allowed “We’re not losing anyone else” he sounded determined, I nodded and pushed his matted red hair out of his eyes, “It’s not your fault we lost anyone” I assured him quietly, sensing his resistance to accepting my earlier compliments, he pushed back against my hand, breathing softly, the veil of his persona edging lightly, enjoying the moment of affection before he straightened up and he went to stand, “Let’s go eat” he instructed, I nodded in agreement and followed him out.

 

It must have been late that night when I woke from a restless sleep, I could hear fighting from outside of the tent I usually shared with Poison, when I realised he wasn’t next to me I reached down to my pocket where the familiar weight of my gun was sat comfortably before I blinked at the unzipped door and crawled out into the sand, raising my gun in reflex at the raised voices, “Woah!” Mikey exclaimed, raising his hands in surrender, I blinked, allowing myself to focus in on the two figures, seeing in the dark was never my strong point but Kobra’s shape was familiar, next to him was Show Pony, unmistakably tall and lanky, on roller blades, both men glowing in the dim moonlight.

“Gun down please sugar” Gerard muttered as he appeared at my side, he gently lowered my arm to my waist and traced my back calmly as I slipped my gun back into my pocket,Mikey laughed a throaty laugh,“Jesus I know she doesn’t like to be woken up but fuck bro” I shook my head disapprovingly as Show Pony welcomed me into a hug, “what the hell is going on?” I questioned, raising an eyebrow, as I broke away “It’s crazy o’clock in the morning” Gerard chuckled, it was unconvincing, “Dr D found a scouting party out near by, sent Pony to warn us” I took a second, squinting slightly, “Bull shit” I assessed, I knew Dr Death well enough to know that he would never risk sending Pony to tell us something he could tell us via the radio, Mikey shook his head, and Show Pony looked at his feet, a guilty expression on his face, Gerard was the only one who attempted to convince me, but his few words didn’t hold up once my radio crackled to life and DD’s voice came through “Motor Baby, Motor Baby on the waves, receiving?” he asked, I turned away from the boys who had began to huddle together, “Yeah” I answered, clicking the receiver to life “I’m here” I heard the guys mumble quietly as I went to sit by the fire “What’s up DD?” I asked, “Is there a scouting party out our way?” I pressed, shooting daggers at Gerard, who had began fussing with something I couldn’t see, not making eye contact with me, “Um, not that I can see sweetheart” he confirmed, “why?” he asked, “something wrong?” I let out a quiet breath, “No, not a thing” I warmed my hands against the dimming fire, “I’ll cut to the chase” DD continued through the receiver, clearly not interested in why I was acting so strangely, “have you seen Show Pony?” he sounded concerned. Everyone became silent and still as I answered “Yeah he’s here, don’t sweat” I heard a sigh of relief followed by a cough, “Tell him to get his ass back here” he finished, before the line went dead. I stood up, and walked towards the three men who where looking around uncomfortably, “I’m only asking one more time”, “What is going on?” Show Pony opened his mouth to speak but before he could Gerard shot him a look filled with rage, Mikey however began rambling, “Ray’s in trouble” he finally admitted, Gerard growled with anger, “I told you! She doesn’t need to know!” I laughed loudly, exasperated “What the fuck do you mean?” I asked, pulling his blue jacket so he faced me, “I am not a child, I have every right to know what’s going on!” I yelled, I must’ve woken Frank up because he emerged from his tent, coming up to join us. “I didn’t mean-” Gerard tried to say, “I just meant-” I took a step towards Mikey, “I know what you meant” I hissed, “Mikey, what is going on?” I questioned, the younger way bit his lip again, looking apologetically at Gerard and then looking at Frank, he then nudged Pony, “You explain” I sighed impatiently, he cleared his throat. “Well…” the man started, “We saw on the screens, an announcement thing” he looked at Gerard apologetically, “Better Living say they’ve caught Jet Star” I rubbed my eyes, Frank burst into hysterics, questioning constantly, Gerard tried to offer calm answers in his best ‘leader’ voice, however he wasn’t fooling anyone as he began getting more flustered, Mikey Just looked around sadly, so after about 4 minutes of unbearable chatter, I took out my radio, dialled DD’s code and said “I’m coming back with Show Pony” everyone stopped, there was a brief interlude of stunned silence before Dr D’s voice replied “Whatever you want” and Gerard turned to me, his face red and shocked, “Why the-” I reached out for his hands, “Because” I began, “we’re going to get Ray back, I have a plan and we’re going to do it quick” Party Poison blinked at me, confused and almost a little afraid, Frank stared in my general direction whilst bouncing on the spot, and Mikey asked “What’s your plan” his voice low and calm. I smiled softly, “They’ll be transporting him in the morning, I’m going to give them something to stop for, they’ll take me, and you can trace the tracker, that I’ll get from DD’s and then take us off the road” I finished, already grabbing my bag from the tent, “No way” Gerard retorted, I turned to look at him again, his face was scared now, “You can’t be a decoy” he began to rant, I kissed his cheek, “You said it yourself” I reminded him quietly, “We’re not losing anyone else” he shook his head, frustrated, like I wasn’t understanding, “You can’t go” I added, “You’re the best shot we have, Mikey can’t go, we’ll need his bike, and to be honest” I sighed, running my fingers through my hair, “They’d probably shoot Frank on sight” Fun Ghoul let out a light laugh, Gerard closed his eyes and sighed, “I’m a believable catch” I added, “Plus I’ll be alright, they wouldn’t kill me” I said, “If for whatever reason you didn’t stick to the plan, they’d want to find you through me” I grinned. 

“She’s right Bro” Mikey confirmed apologetically, Gerard spun on his heels “This is why I didn’t want to tell her!” he rowed, looking frantic “This isn’t a game-” I took hold of Show Pony’s arm, 

“No Poison, It’s not” I allowed, “But we want Ray back safe, and this is getting him back safe” Gerard blinked back tears that where burning his eyes, “Please” his voice cracked, “You don’t even know that Dr D will let you have a tracker” Show Pony burst into laughter, “You know he will Poison” he slapped him supportively on the back, “You weren’t the first to love her you know, DD would do anything she asked” I flushed scarlet, as Poison cleared his throat, ignoring how Frank and Mikey sniggered about his lack of denial of the comment, “Any chance I can change your mind?” he pressed quietly, I shook my head, “unless you have a better plan?” he groaned loudly in defeat, “I mean we could wait until they show Ray on the screens” Mikey suggested lamely, I was already walking towards the car, “I said, getting him back _safe_ ” I stressed the word, “You know as well as I do, if he gets to the screens he wont last long” Gerard sighed loudly, “Be safe” he muttered, I nodded, squeezing his hand as I past him to Pony’s side, not wanting to make my departure any harder on either of us, “Don’t worry, if you all do your jobs well, me and Ray will be back tomorrow night” he nodded sternly, turning and storming back towards his tent before the cries he was suppressing could rise through his throat.

 

“Come on Pony” I whined as we got out of the car, slamming the door behind me, trying to ignore how tired I was becoming and the throbbing in my head, probably caused by stress,

“No way’ he retorted, “I am not getting involved” I sighed quietly,   
“You’re already involved” he chuckled, “I mean it” I replied, “Just check in on them for me” he shook his head, “If anything goes wrong-” he cut me off, gripping my hand, the other hand on the door to the shelter, “Nothing will” he coughed, “And, even if it did” he pushed in, “I’m not exactly a good shot, they wouldn’t want my help getting you back” I shook my head, “You’re a friend” I said, “They’d need that” he sighed, “I thought you said this was fool proof” I nodded, “Near enough” before we could go into it any further, Dr Death’s booming laughter filled the small room, “Damn I’ve missed you girl!” he announced as he pulled me into his arms, I allowed myself to relax into his embrace, “you too” I muttered into his neck, he smelled of sweat and cigarettes, I grinned, “I need your help” I said as we broke apart, “You’re not going to like it” I warned him, he shook his head sitting down, gesturing for Pony and I to sit aswell, I chose a small stool, “I need a tracker DD” 

he groaned, “I know, Party Poison called about ten minutes ago” I felt my face scowl, “He was demanding I refuse” he smirked, I sighed and stretched my arms above my head, “You’re not going to though” I challenged, hearing my elbows click, he shook his head, “I should” he noted, “but no” I grinned, “But” he intercepted again, “I don’t like this” I put a hand on his leg, “Neither do I” I assured him, “But I like Ray” he nodded, “And to be honest” I started quietly, “I’m not sure Gerard could handle losing him so soon after-” he nodded signally for me to stop, waving his hands in front of his face, “That’s why I’m agreeing”

I settled down into the seat, “I’m going to get some rest” I muttered, “we’ll need to leave in a few hours” 

Pony stayed sitting, “Do we know the trail they’ll be on?” he asked DD, who turned on his chair, pushing a few buttons, “Intel says the transit it going east to battery city” I yawned, “and the trackers on the bed?” he nodded absentmindedly, “Do you need help putting it in?” he asked, “I’m not offering, by the way” I laughed, “Pony?” I asked jokingly, he shook his head quickly, “I’m out” 

I waved as I wondered to the even smaller spare room that was originally a storage space, there was a stained mattress pressed uncomfortably into the area, taking up the entire floor, a small walkie talkie and a smaller silver syringe laying atop of it, I took it quickly, pushing it into my upper thigh with a grimace, and injecting the fluid slowly, once it was empty I felt a pang of heat which I knew meant the tracker was working, I read the tiny engraved code on the syringe, “212” and picked up the radio, I dialled the code for Party’s receiver, it crackled loudly in the enclosed space, I shuffled down and pulled up a moth eaten wooden cover up over my denim clad legs, “Password” Gerard’s stern voice asked, he sounded a little more anxious than usual, or it could have been anger, I sighed softly, “Jazzhands” I replied, closing my eyes, realising how tired I was as I blinked, “Hi” I said after a few minutes of listening to ragged breaths, I heard his shifting, “Hey” He replied finally, “any chance Dr D listened to me?” he questioned sadly, I chuckled kindly, “No” I heard him groan, “Don’t worry” I soothed, “The trackers in, I need you to check it’s active, the code is 212” I remembered, he shouted over to Mikey who yelled something in reply that I couldn’t hear, “He’s got it” he muttered unhappily, “good” I altered, “It’s a good plan” I reminded him, “best we’ve got” he exhaled again, muttering something about stubbornness, “Gee” I breathed, “stop it” he sighed now, loudly, “I’m not doing this to be difficult” he faked a laugh, “or to hurt you” he whined,

“I know that” he accepted, “I just” he choked, “I can’t” I closed my eyes again, picturing being next to him, I shushed him gently, “Don’t think like that” I instructed, “We need you right now” I reminded him firmly, “ and, I’m coming back” he grumbled something under his breath, “Are you sure Mikey got the tracker?” I pressed, “Yeah” he answered instantly, I smiled, tracing the warm area on my upper leg, “Good” I confirmed, “They’re taking the east road” I told him, “We’re leaving in an hour” he was quiet, probably adjusting the volume, or his position, “You should sleep” he suggested after a moment, I nodded, “I’ll try” I assured him, “You should too”

“No” he answered firmly, “We’re setting up a route” I surpassed a sigh, “Don’t over think it” I suggested, “It’s a drill” I muttered, “We’ve done this before” he hummed thoughtfully, I hoped he was listening, if he made himself ill worrying about this my chances of actually making it out unscathed became significantly less “Goodnight” I soothed after a few more minutes of silence, I hoped I was wrong hearing a sob as I clicked the receiver off, closing my eyes and attempting to fall into a restless sleep.

 

“Motor Baby” Dr Death’s warm voice soothed, he had his hand on my shoulder, shaking me lightly, my eyes flickered open, I don’t think I’d been asleep long, “Come on” he insisted, I nodded, pushing my self up against the wall and standing, I made sure I had my gun, and followed Show Pony past him, out into the main area of the safe house. “Are you sure about this?” Dr D questioned as I shrugged on my jacket and pulled up my mask, “Yeah” I answered, “Let’s do this” he turned away, never good at good byes, “I’ll see you soon” I promised as I took Pony’s hand and left into the dry heat of the early morning desert, we walked to the car in silence, drove to the road in silence, before I put my hand in front of his wheel to stop him, this is where I’d be caught, it was a common track to walk on for un thinking KillJoys and it was where the car would drive, taking Ray to the city for… Questioning, I let my mind skip over that, “Tell the guys I’m here” I instructed, standing, I exited the car, but turned back “And get out of here” I added, “Quickly” He nodded, spinning the wheel and kicking up a cloud of dust, I inhaled sharply, I had no radio, nothing really except a gun and a promise, my bag was filled with camping supplies, nothing anyone wouldn’t be carrying, I reminded myself as I wondered towards the stone covered road, my turquoise jacket reflected the dim sunlight as I walked slowly and carefully along the track, I was headed away from the city, just as I would be if I had simply been innocently travelling. DD would have updated the guys on my position by now, and they’d be tracking the car I assured myself as I wondered, I looked at the dusky sky, a few stars where still shining, but the sun was beginning to rise, dimming the moon in its turn, I inhaled softly, I wasn’t walking for long before I heard the groan of an engine, I put my hand on my gun instinctually, and aimed it towards the direction of the sound, before I got a chance to shoot I dance out of the way of a beam of hot light, I smiled beneath my bandana, _perfect_. I made a lame attempt to shoot back, whilst dancing out of the way of their much more targeted shots, I counted to 5, before flinging myself to the ground gripping my leg, I faked a pained squeal as I pushed my gun out of reach, I heard distant footsteps growing louder around me, I heard muttering, I wasn’t really listening to for that, I was listening to more engines, they where cutting it a little thin I thought, as one of the dracs pulled up my mask, I heard a gasp, and some sniggering about killjoys and two in one week, I allowed them to pull me up and put cuffs on without much of a struggle, I smiled slyly as I noticed my gun was still lying on the ground, with any luck one of the boys would grab it and I wouldn’t have to get a new one. It didn’t take long for us to arrive at the back of the van, they clicked the caged door open and I smiled for real as I made eye contact with JetStar, sitting at the back, they threw me inside, and slammed the door shut, I was surprised they hadn’t gagged us, “Hey Jet Star” I muttered, he grinned at me from behind his hair, “Long time no see” He replied, I winked, and settled back into silence, we drove uncomfortably for around 4 minutes before I heard shots outside, the van slammed to a halt causing Ray and I to slam out bodies together, I heard shouting, and eventually someone fussing with the locked door, a stream of sunlight flooded in as Funghoul opened it, he grabbed for Ray, pulling him out and loading him onto the back of Mikey’s bike before suddenly, a shot fired behind him, and the van began to speed away, doors open and swaying, I blinked, shocked and un breathing, I stared long enough just to see Gerard staring at me heartbroken through his mask as Funghoul pushed him into car away from a gas bomb. 


	2. Chapter 2

“There were more than we thought” Mikey explained lamely, as he sat unmoving surrounded by the others in the relative comfort of DD’s safe house, everyone was still shaking with adrenaline from the mornings events, no one dared speak at first, they’d pulled up to the shack in complete silence, none of them wanting to address what had happened because they thought it would make it more _real,_ but when they entered the room and Dr Death saw she wasn’t with them, and saw that Gerard had tears drying down his face as he ushered a trembling Ray into the shower room without so much as a hello they’d been forced to admit she wasn’t waiting outside, Show Pony had erupted into hysterical cries, DD had tried the tracker straight away and then sent his adopted son out to try and find some trace of her on trail, when Poison had reappeared _still_ crying the older man had demanded explanations, Motor Baby was as much of a daughter to him as Pony was a son, she was a little more impulsive and reckless but thats what he loved and he made it clear he had trusted Poison with her life, Gerard hadn’t fought for himself, he’d taken the tirade of abuse, remaining quiet, almost cowering in the corner, Mikey had attempted to defend his brother, but he became a target as well, then with Frank still helping Jet Star clean himself up there was no one left to buffer, eventually he tired himself out, his voice gave in when he was shouting and he was starting to feel useless, now he was sat, sternly at the head of his control board, pressing buttons angrily, “As soon as they started with the gas-” Frank said as he came back into the space, feeling the tension, trying to explain the plans failure, “I don’t give a damn about the gas they used!” Exclaimed Dr Death as he slammed his fist down on the desk, Gerard flinched in the corner where he remained, unblinking and almost un-breathing as the older man’s rage filled the room agaom, “We need to find her!” he continued as Ray finally limped in from the shower room, his hair wet and matted, he looked around unhappily, “I’m sorry” he spoke finally, “You all should have-” Mikey raised his hand “Let’s not do that” he suggested, “not now” Ray nodded, biting his tongue and retreating to Frank’s side, the younger man was silenced, “What can we do?” Gerard finally asked, breaking his selective silence, his yellow mask hung stupidly round his neck, blood splatters decorated his blue yellow jacket, she would have cleaned him up by now he thought, suppressing a shiver, DD laughed gruffly, “You’re asking me?” he chided, “The great Party Poison-” Frank looked up, “Don’t” he pleaded, “She wouldn’t want that” Mikey stood, walking over to the window, looking out to see if Show Pony had returned, “Don’t start talking like she’s dead Frank” he said, sounding exhausted, “We’ll find her”, he shot a cautioning look at Frank, trying to warn the smaller man to leave it, Gerard wouldn’t be able to handle another onslaught and god knows he’d take the brunt of DD’s anger if anyone kept pushing it, he seemed to understand as silence settled back into the room along with atmosphere, Dr D resumed pushing buttons and blurting orders out on the radio, until suddenly the sound of an engine rumbled through the walls, “Thank god” Mikey whispered as he opened the door for Show Pony, although his face didn’t look any happier than it did when he’d left, “What?!” Demanded DD as the younger man laid down his helmet and exhaled, “We found her” he murmured, Everyone’s head shot up, someone let out a sigh of relief before Gerard spoke quietly, “Is she dead?” Pony shook his head, “Then why aren’t you smiling?” Mikey butted in, Pony fiddled with hands awkwardly, “Spit it out!” Dr D demanded his patience waining, “She’s on the screens” he blurted out, not knowing how else to break the news, “every station, every billboard, every-” “Enough!” Screamed DD, “OUT” he continued, “Everyone out” he started to cry as every one of the men spilled out of the room, one by one into the sand. “Do we go back?” mumbled Frank, too scared to ask any louder, without warning, Party Poison turned and slammed his fist into the wall of brick that covered one of the outer walls. He hissed in pain, and shrugged off Mikey’s hand when he attempted to place it comfortingly on his shoulder. Without warning a silver mist shivered in the air before solidifying at settling on the plain wall, and Dr Death stormed out, joining the men, his used his stick and remained un speaking, “the screen” Pony explained, “we can activate it in emergencies” he swallowed, as Gerard’s jaw dropped “I-I can’t”

“Can’t what?” hissed Dr D, “Watch the damage you’ve caused?” Gerard looked broken, he was cupping his hand to his chest and physically shaking, he didn’t have it in him to defend himself, he barely had it in him to breath, there was no doubt someone would have been brave enough to defend the red-haired man, if her image hadn’t suddenly filled the screen, she was unblinking and unmoving until the image came to life, her hair hung in long brown strands around her features, blood matted on her scalp, the camera panned out, showing her arms pinned up above her, attached in a mass of blood and metal to a frame, she was naked, her skin already marked and bruised, and her breathing jagged, Korse strode into frame, pulling her hair and smirking, she hissed bitterly, not one of the men could stop themselves from watching as he spoke, “Where are your friends?” He asked loudly, a smirk played across her lips, she licked the blood from the corners before she replied, “I don’t know” he laughed, nodding to someone off screen who did something that caused her body to tense as though 1000 bolts had been passed through her, she screamed loudly, and everyone recoiled, he approached her again, “Where are your friends?” he repeated, she laughed this time, before spitting more orange blood onto the ground, “God you’re stupid” she taunted, “I don’t know” He reached out and held her head, nodding again, she screamed again, until the electricity stopped coursing through her form, “I don’t know” she continued, between laboured breaths, “because I’m not there” she noted, she rolled here eyes, “I’m here” she looked around, “With you” the bald man laughed again, reaching up to the wounds in her hands, he pressed on the skin, “Then I guess we’re at an empass” he mused as she grimaced in pain, “Maybe we’ll wait until they come to try and save you” he turned to the camera, grinning wildly, she shook her head, “You’re not getting it are you?” she murmured, “What was that?” he taunted, pulling her chin up, “We can’t hear you” she spit again, “I said” she cleared her throat, “You’re not getting it” he looked at her curiously, “I’m not one of their brothers” she noted, “I’m not _that_ important” she smiled, “They wont be coming for me” she said sternly, making eye contact with the camera, an instruction, Korse shook his head, his hands running down over her body, Gerard shut his eyes at that, “That’s a shame” he whispered, before nodding again, allowing her screams to just begin before the connection cut off, the screen faded to black, he’d stopped transmitting. 

Everyone stayed in stunned silence until Party Poison wretched, puking onto the sand, he continued to spew until his stomach felt like it was on fire, Mikey put his hand on his older brothers back as he dry heaved in the sun, and Dr D went inside, shouting about enough time to track. Although the tracker she’d implanted was long gone, they should be able to use the screens to find her, breaking into a better living facility was no easy task, and it definitely wasn’t a quick task to arrange, but that wasn’t stopping Dr D from screaming abuse at whichever poor man was attempting to tell him the transmission hadn’t been long enough. Gerard was still gagging when Frank appeared next to him, “We need to move” he said quietly, approaching the man with caution, “We can’t stay here” he repeated, Party Poison nodded, silently walking over and sitting in the drivers seat, he couldn’t speak again just yet, he didn’t want to. The others seemed to understand as they piled in around him and allowed him to drive for hours, through different zones, with no plan in place, he made large circles “Here looks good” Mikey suggested finally, Gerard merely shook his head and continued, maybe he did have a plan he was trying to stick to. Kobra eventually let out a sigh of defeat and settled back into the uncomfortable silence. 

Eventually the car stopped, it was the next morning by that point, and he’d picked an area where you could see the city from the ledges surrounding it, you could see the screens, that made sense, they all supposed, although, with Dr D not responding to their radio requests they weren’t sure what good it would do. They set up tents silently, wondering what the next step would be, it didn’t take long for them to agree just to keep trying to get in touch with the man. When Ray had disappeared to gather fire wood, Mikey attempted to approach Gerard since they where finally alone, Frank had wondered off, desperate to escape the guilt fulled tension that was suffocating the camp, he felt bad enough without everyone else, he’s the one that hadn’t grabbed her in time, it was all his fault, he walked until he saw a tree, it was dying and withered but he sat at its base, leaning against the wood, he closed his eyes and pressed his head against it’s trunk, he wished for alcohol, he wished for anything that might make the voices in his head stop for just long enough to think clearly, then he thought of Gerard and was grateful that there was nothing like that around, he cringed, pinching his arm just enough for it to hurt, he had to at least try and help his friends, Poison would need ,help with this, he could tell Mikey was worried, the younger Way was watching his brothers every move and was trying not to leave him alone, every one of them, including Dr Death, and even Show Pony was occupied with their own self loathing, by the time Frank headed back the sun was setting and Poison was crouched in the yellow tent, he was desperately trying not to notice the smell of her that clung to the plastic walls around him, he’d found her hoodie inside the sleeping bag they shared and he’d felt himself have to swallow more vomit, he pushed on his swollen knuckles trying to feel the splintering pain, trying to feel something that wasn’t the ache in his chest, he was sat now pushing pencils into various areas into a map of battery city when Mikey approached, the smaller man pushed his way in, not asking for an invitation because he knew he wouldn’t get one. “Mikes” Poison hissed out, attempting to warn his brother not to attempt to make him feel better with some empty speach, “don’t-” Mikey raised his hands in surrender, smiling a small fake smile, “I’m here to help” he explained, looking at the map, Gerard shook his head, trying to persuade his brother to leave him alone to stew in the pain he deserved to be in for allowing this to happen, but he made eye contact and with that he saw the desperation in Mikey’s face, he _loved_ his brother and couldn’t quite bring himself to shut him out completely, he nodded, surrendering “She could be in any one of these” he said, his hands gesturing across five circled compounds on the map, “Assuming they took her to battery city” he amended, the blonde nodded thoughtfully, “All are guarded 24/7 because Korse goes to them to.. well.. you saw” He coughed, clearly holding himself together, “So” he groaned, “I” he tried, before he suddenly started sobbing, he hadn’t felt it coming, it had just burst from his chest, he couldn’t physically stop himself now it’d started, “I don’t know what to do” he explained, his voice crumbling, Mikey circled scratching the fabric of the tent as he did, his older brother was gripping his own knees are crying loudly, “Bro” Mikey soothed, unsure of what he could do, Gerard shook his head and shook off his hand as he tried to comfort him again, “She’d know- She’d know what to do” he hissed in-between whimpers, Kobra nodded, sighing, “I know” he agreed, seeing the fabric of her hoodie in a heap on the floor, he picked it up and passing it to his brother, hoping it would give him, something, anything to make it hurt less for him, “we’ll get-” Gerard’s head suddenly snapped up, he took the hoodie and held it to his face feeling it on his cheeks, his mouth opened slightly as he breathed in what was left of her on it, he remembered what his brother was trying to do, “Don’t” he muttered sternly, “do not, say that, don’t tell me we’ll get her back, and that it’ll all be fine, and all that shit, we’re not kids, and life’s shit and I can’t fucking listen to it-” he softened when he saw the hurt in the younger mans face, “Please” he added, allowing himself to relax, “I’m sorry but-” reigning in his breathing, and putting a hand on his brother’s face “I can’t” Kobra Kid nodded, understanding, “we’ll watch the screens” Mikey suggested, “and we’ll keep trying DD, like you said” Gerard nodded, “They wont-” he began tentatively, “They wont kill her Gerard” he finished, Gerard sucked in a breath, “They might” he whispered, Mikey looked at him questioning, “She doesn’t _know_ where we are” Poison wiped his face on the cotton his was still clutching before he lowered it, placing it gently on the floor next to him, his brother understood, knowledge was her get out of jail plan, she’d said it herself, and from what they’d got out of Ray and from what they’d seen on the screens it’s what they wanted, and Gerard was right, even if she’d wanted to, she couldn’t give it to them, she didn’t _know_

anymore. Mikey made his exit then, when he knew he couldn’t help, he smiled reassuringly at Ray when he reappeared, he’d been waiting anxiously by the fire and he’d hugged Frank when he’d seen he’d needed it, no one was handling it well, but still, they’d get through it, they had too.

 

It was 3 days before anything happened again, it was around midday when the groan of an engine broke the silence of the campsite, everyone’s head shot up, Party Poison even drew his gun, aiming it in the direction of the noise, not that that was unexpected, he’d been on constant high alert, he’d refused to have a night without scouting, he didn’t even lower his gun until they realised it was Show Pony, he pulled the car to a stop, kicking up dirt, the smell of gasoline airing up around him as he left the car, “What’s happening?” Mikey called as Frank bounded up to him like a clumsy puppy slapping a hand on his shoulder, wishing him well, embarrassingly glad to have some new energy around him, even for a moment, even if it wasn’t any happier, Show Pony was smiling softly, not a true smile but as close as it could get, “Dr D doesn’t know I’m here” he explained quickly as he approached the others, surrounding the fire that was dimming down to embers, “But there’s going to be another broadcast, in about” he glanced at his watch, “4 minutes, DD can’t find her, I had to tell you” he muttered, Gerard sighed, exasperated, 

“Why wont he answer us?” Frank asked so Party Poison wouldn’t have to, 

Pony shook his head, the lightning bolt on his face shining in the sun “he’s angry” he replied, Frank was suddenly filled with pity for the man, having to return and live with DD in such a state, he didn’t envy him at all, and he knew he was risking a horrific outcome by clearly disobeying the order to ignore them, “He’ll calm down when he has more information” he continued sounding some what protective over the man, Everyone shifted uncomfortably, however, Gerard stepped forward, “Why did you come?” he asked genuinely, the younger man looked away shyly, “She-” he coughed, “Before she left- she asked me to help you if anything” he glanced up making eye contact with Party Poison, “anything went wrong” Mikey smiled gratefully, his boots marking the sand as he approached his big brother, he could picture that conversation, that was so _her._

“Do we watch?” Ray queried softly, aware of the time. Gerard nodded firmly, clearly not happy with the idea, but not wanting to risk not, plus although the pain in his chest threatened to burst at the thought of what he might see, he _missed_ her face, and as selfish as it seemed even to him, he was hoping she could give him some kind of hope, even from her current position. “Well then” Mikey coughed, “we better set off” he suggested, Show pony turned on his heels, and set off back to his car, leaving without a goodbye. Gerard forced out his breaths as they walked towards where they could see the city, he lead the way, everyone else just wondered uncomfortably behind, like they where heading to slaughter, he’d have preferred that, Poison thought, they arrived at the ledge and watched a sea of silver screens shimmer in the distance, some as close at 20 meters, others spanning back to the horizon line, they looked like the sea, he felt himself about to cry until he blinked and she once again appeared on the surfaces, this time he couldn’t stop himself from gasping and as a reflex he felt himself grasping for her hand, he felt tears overflowing his eyes when he remembered it wasn’t there, her hands, were where he could see them, still sewn to the contraption, over her head, she’d been hosed down, her hair hung in wet, tangled strings down past her breasts, dark purple bruises covered her skin, everywhere they could see, he could see one of her ribs straining, she’d have mentioned that, she’d have probably said it was broken, she’d have starting making preparations for when she needed to fix it, he felt Mikey reaching out to comfort him, he wished he wouldn’t bother, because it made it feel too easy to collapse in on himself and cry, which he couldn’t do, not now, not yet, he couldn’t waste a second of her _face_. Korse appeared again, swaggering easily into the shot, he bit an apple before dropping it to the ground, “Say hello” he instructed, she rolled her eyes, her lips sealed, “Oh wait-” he chuckled, “You can’t” the camera zoomed in on her mouth, he shivered at the sight, Ray turned away and Frank started to sob now, not the kind he’d do if he could help it, just dry crying, her lips where sealed with metal, it laced across the top and the bottom, the skin red and bleeding, Korse snapped his fingers and the contraption dropped, falling out of shot, she flexed her jaw, before the bald man spoke again, “I said” he slapped her, grabbing her hair and pulling it, Ray cringed in reaction,“Say Hello” Gerard closed his eyes then, only for a moment until he heard her laughter, it was wild and manic, everyone was staring, even the torturous man seemed shocked as he dropped her hair, “Something funny?” he demanded, she licked her smiling mouth, “you know the problem you’ve got?” she said, her voice cracking, he raised an eyebrow, “You can’t really go anywhere from constant interrogation” she said, “and” she dropped her voice to a whisper, “You’re really not that good at it” he nodded before she could carry on, someone somewhere pressed a button, and she erupted into screaming, Mikey made a mental note to find and kill whoever was pressing those buttons, before he could worry about how he would find the anonymous man, Korse turned to the camera, letting the torture continue longer than he had last time, when it finally stopped he spoke, “Aren’t you hurt?” she blinked innocently, swallowing, “I’ve had worse” she retorted with a grin, letting her eyes close, “I didn’t mean that” he corrected, stroking her hair, she recoiled then, “I mean” he said, speaking softly, “aren’t you hurt that nobodies tried to come for you?” she shook her head calmly, once again looking into the screen, “I’m not relying on anyone to come for me” she assured him, “It’s always a bonus” she teased, “when someone _comes_ ” he laughed then, running his finger over her cheek, “You’re a tough one” he complimented her, “Much stronger than-” he looked away thinking, “what’s his name?” he clicked at her, “the one you were rescuing?” Ray gasped suddenly, his face flushing scarlet as all eyes darted to him, she groaned, “I wasn’t rescuing anyone” he shook his head, “But-” she continued, “It’s Jet Star- You never stop banging on about it” he grinned, pressing on the wounds in hands again, she whimpered, but her features remained relatively unchanged, and Gerard would know, he was the only one who hadn’t stopped staring, “Ah yes” he breathed, releasing her skin, “he told us your camp before we’d even got here” she chuckled, “ and how did that go?” she muttered petulantly, he clicked, and her screaming recommenced, “I didn’t ask you to speak” he hissed, not wanting to be shown up on a live broadcast, Frank hid a smile as he thought about how _annoying_ she must be to him off camera, he was infinitely grateful she was still herself, he looked at the screen in time to see Korse smiling as he stroked her ribs, pushing a little harder on the one that bulged, pressing against her skin as she gasped for air, he nodded again, and her cries stopped, she began giggling _again_ Gerard didn’t understand, he swallowed bile, “want to know a secret?” she murmured, her voice almost playful, Korse turned his head, “a secret?” he pressed, almost hopeful, but not quite, she nodded, spitting more blood onto the floor before looking up through her hair and eyelashes, her face unreadable and fascinating, “I’ll whisper” she challenged, he raised a hand signally for a Drac to back away and let him approach, whatever she said was unheard to the camera, but the look of pure horror on the man’s face wasn’t. He screamed an order, more like a bark, and she suddenly screamed in pain again, cutting off her laughter with blood curdling screeches before the screen suddenly cut to black and silence. 


	3. Chapter 3

Everyone stared, stunned, their eyes darting around each others, trying to find answers of comfort in their companions faces, Frank was still crying Gerard noticed, he’d hunched over and was hyperventilating, slightly quieter now, Ray was pacing and Mikey was staring at nothing, Gerard shifted, as he did he saw Mikey had started watching his every move like he was going to burst into flames, and Gerard suddenly wished he would, burning alive would hurt less than whatever he was feeling now, the image of her screeching was still burned into his eyes, suddenly his radio crackled, he instantly clicked it on, a reflex to the sound, Dr D’s gruff voice crackled to life, “What the hell was that?” it asked, Frank’s head snapped up, and Ray stood silently, cautiously monitoring Poison’s stance, ready to jump if he did anything _stupid_ , “I don’t know” murmured Gerard honestly, not moving, he considered screaming about how DD had abandoned them or about how he should have found her by now, but all he could think about her, whatever she’d said, and he hadn’t the faintest idea what that could have been, “Have you-” he started to ask, Ray’s eyes still following him, there was a loud exhale, “No” he replied, “They’re never long enough, that one might have been if she hadn’t pulled that stunt” he sounded angry, he heard Show Pony muttering something about not breaking her spirit, but that seemed to make it worse, “We can’t leave her there” Gerard whispered, “It’s my fault-” Dr D coughed, Frank shifted and Ray tensed ready to intervene but to their surprise “No” was all he said, “It wasn’t, none of us should have let her go” Gerard was grateful for that, he didn’t believe it for a second, he was the leader, he should have stopped her, she was the most precious thing he had and he’d let her risk herself for no reason. “What can we do?” demanded Ray, suddenly grabbing the handset from Party’s hand, Gerard realised he had fresh tears dripping down his face now, he stopped listening as he walked away, he retreated to his tent, where he zipped himself in, and allowed himself to cry into her hoodie in relative privacy. 

 

A few more days past silently, Gerard ran to his tent at every opportunity, where he either stared at a map until his eyes stung so badly he couldn’t keep them open, or he allowed himself to close them, and remember her face, his heart physically hurt, he gave in to the agony when he was alone, he cried, and scratched at his arms, not caring that the others could hearing or what they might think, they weren’t doing too well regardless of the state he worked himself up in when he was alone, he played his leader role in the day, for the most part, so what did it matter if he let himself burry himself in his self pity in his free time, he did his job, he talked about strategies they could use on each compound when they where able to pin down which she was in, and he talked about burning any safe houses Ray may have let slip before they’d got to him, Jet Star had been deeply apologetic when asked about what information he might have told them, but it hadn’t mattered, no one had expected any of them to hold up to better livings interrogations, that’s why they never stayed anywhere for long enough for it to matter, Frank had forced out a laugh and reminded the older man that “Torture was never part of the bargain” which seemed to have helped at the time, although every day, Party Poison reminded him that it wasn’t his fault, which, funnily enough, he actually believed, none of this was Ray’s fault, it was his, he should have put his foot down, and he should have made sure that they where prepared enough for the task when he couldn’t stop her himself. He took a deep breath and pressed his pen back down onto the map he’d already traced a hundred times in the past few days, trying to think of anyway he could just get in _underground_ or something, anyway he could just appear through the walls and take her back, and keep running with her until he could make sure no one would even look at her again and then he could find a way to make it up to her, then suddenly there was a bang. A flash of heat and a horrific noise. He jumped through the shell of the tent where he’d taken to spending most of his time, catching his jeans on the zipper, everyone was doing the same, they were facing the source of the noise, the city, staring and stunned, there was another flash of heat and this time, bright white light, they could see it, a building going up in flames in the distance, smoke rose high into the navy sky like a pier, and sirens began to sound, Poison pulled his mask on and yelled for the others to do the same, his instincts acting on his behalf, he had to lead, he bundled what he could into bags making sure to grip her hoodie and throw it into his bag, he couldn’t risk losing another piece of her, no matter how small, he didn’t care that it smelt more of him each day and less of her, it was all he had left of her he could touch, once that was secured, he piled his friends, his brothers into the car, and started setting off away from the noise, “What the fuck?” Frank said breathlessly, “What the fuck was that?” He questioned again, Gerard groaned loudly, his foot flooring the gas peddle, “I have no idea Frankie” he answered, “No fuckin’ clue, but we’re not sticking around to find out” Mikey nodded in agreement, “Gas test gone wrong?” Ray suggested, “Possible” Gerard allowed, “Or it could be more killjoys trying something bigger?” He offered, Mikey shrugged, “We’d have heard” he replied, “Hell” Frank laughed lamely, “We’d have been invited” Gerard let a smile cross his lips, more for his little brother’s sake than anyone else’s, the younger man was shaking, he’d been doing so well, Gerard hadn’t told him yet but he was so proud, Kobra had picked up his slack, he’d dealt with things he never should have had to and he’d done whatever he could to keep Frank and Ray safe while he had let things slip, everything would be getting too much for him soon, he continued driving, answering whatever questions he could until his radio once again came to life, “Password?” he asked, not recognising the line, “I don’t know _everyone’s_ damn password” Dr Death’s miserable tone grumbled, Poison was about to let it slip until Show Pony muttered ‘Jazzhands’ into the line for him, “Dr D” he clarified, “Any idea what that was?” he heard a sigh, “No” he answered, “But-” he continued urgency slipping into his tone, “Something’s coming up our end” Gerard raised a hand to silence the comments that where brewing behind him, if anyone located or attacked DD’s shelter, it would take a hell of a lot of time and effort to rebuild, “Plan?” he pressed when the line went quiet, there was a vague rumble, and suddenly a loud commotion, engines maybe? screams? it didn’t matter because soon, the line went dead. Panic ensued, pure panic, Gerard swirled the car round, it screeched against the dirt, and Frank shouted directions, Mikey kicked the dashboard angrily as he tried to reach someone, _anyone_ on the radio, to no avail. Ray sat stunned, trying in vain to comfort Frank as he got caught up in the fact the map was old and didn’t make much sense now the roads had gone, since Gerard had come a long way round to get here, finding DD’s shouldn’t take that long, still, despite the chaos they drove, they headed towards Dr Death’s place for around an hour just aiming for the general direction of the house before the energy slowed in the vehicle, the emotionsstill buzzed high in the air, but Poison felt his eyelids drooping as he continued to drive, the adrenaline surge finally turning into a crash, he continued racing across the plain of sand, the shack they where searching for not yet even a speck in the horizon, he was tempted to give in and sleep, but all that would happen is they’d veer off track, adding more time to their journey, or he’d be woken up, neither of those prospects seemed worth it, he needed to get there, if anything happened to DD they’d never track her, and even if by some miracle they got her back alone, she’d never forgive them for that, for not getting there in time to help, not that they’d be forgiven for anything else they’d done, but he was blacking that out, he couldn’t deal with that yet, he just, couldn’t, anyway, he decided he didn’t _want_ forgiveness he didn’t _deserve_ it. 


	4. Chapter 4

“Poison” Mikey called, catching his brothers eye, snapping him out of his daze, he turned his head, still holding the wheel, “Hang a left, I think I can see it” Gerard did as he was told, swinging the steering wheel and turning the car unhappily to the left hand side, he saw it now too, a spot in the distance, at least it was still standing he thought, just as he relaxed again, his radio spit horrid black noise out into the car, “Poison!” Pony’s voice screeched, demanding down the line, Mikey picked it up, Gerard looked at him gratefully as he drove, “What?” Kobra demanded, scared, “What’s going on?” 

Show Pony laughed, a true, happy laugh then, everyone in the car blinked, waiting, “you wont believe it” he replied, Gerard sped up, looking at Mikey wide eyed and frantic, “What the fuck?!” Frank demanded, kicking Kobra’s seat from behind like a child, “She’s here!” Show Pony replied, “Motor Baby” he confirmed, joy still coating every word, “The bombs, she’s-” Dr D shouted something in the background and the line crackled off, back to silence, Gerard felt his foot press harder into the car than he thought was possible, his grip was so hard on the wheel he thought it should have shattered beneath his knuckles, he couldn’t get his hopes up until he’d seen her, he chanted that to himself as they inched closer and closer to the tiny building, he knew Pony wouldn’t have joked about something like that, but maybe, he didn’t know, maybe he was dreaming.

 

Party Poison barely stopped the car before he through himself out of it’s doors, he couldn’t wait, he couldn’t even really see, it was like he’d been looking directly into the sun for too long, he heard Mikey shout something behind him but he couldn’t hear him and he wasn’t trying to, he panted, his chest aching and heaving as he reached the door, he hadn’t realised he’d been running, but then he hesitated, unsure of what he would find when he did knock, what state would she be in? what if she was angry? didn’t want to see him? he wouldn’t blame her, but he didn’t know what he’d do, he didn’t have to wait long before he was surrounded by his friends, he could feel Ray shifting behind him, and Mikey was at his side, Frank was fidgeting awkwardly, waiting for him to enter first, he knocked twice on the door, feeling the wood graze his knuckles, his hand still not right from when he’d punched the wall, he inhaled sharply as it swayed open, Show Pony was still smiling, damn he was practically bouncing on the spot, “Come in” he commanded, swinging out of the way, he touched each of their shoulders in turn, Gerard looked around anxiously, his eyes darting around the small space, “Where?-” he began to ask, Show Pony hugged him tightly, “DD’s getting her cleaned up” he answered, Poison felt a pang of jealously, the hurt must’ve shown on his face because Frank looked up sympathetically, rubbing his friends arm, “She didn’t know where we where at” he reminded him softly, Gerard nodded, “I’m just glad she’s not hurt?” Mikey near enough whispered, Pony shook his head, “She says she’s fine” he replied, his smile softening, “although, you know what she’s like” he allowed, Gerard did know, that’s why he hadn’t asked, he wouldn’t get a true answer until they where alone, if she’d ever be alone with him again, he wouldn’t blame her if she left and never looked back, he felt his breathing speed up, he was focusing on not hyperventilating, “Gee” her voice broke as she said his name, but not in the way his would have if he’d have tried to speak, she was stood, dripping wet, wearing a t-shirt that was about 4 sizes too big, her eyes where wide and happy, her face transformed into a grin, her hands had lame bandages wrapped around them and every inch of her skin was mottled with bruises, but Gerard was holding her before he knew what had happened, she jumped into his arms and allowed him to lift her, pushing herself against him, despite the pain in her ribs, it creaked against her lungs she was ignoring everything, it was worth it, she could feel him, his breaths getting shallower, she pulled away, kissing his face slowly, swallowing his whimper, “Before we-” she murmured, her voice croaky, “I need you to-” Dr Death appeared behind her, “Don’t try and talk too much” he scolded, stroking her hair but glancing at their embrace in approval, she shook her head, “My rib” she continued, “It _needs_ to be rebroken and set” she shivered from the cold, Gerard held her firm, examining her features, he could see tiny red marks around her mouth, he could see dark rings surrounding her eyes, he blinked as she gripped his hand, “I can’t do it myself” she explained, “and DD can’t” she smiled calmly as the older man turned away and blushed, whispering to Show Pony and Frank about how he couldn’t hurt her like that, even if she asked, “I-I-Idont” Gerard stammered, shocked,“I don’t know how-” she shook her head again, “You wont be able to either” she soothed, “Frankie?” she asked her voice timid, remembering how she’d tried to train him up a little, in that moment it felt like a sick joke, but at least he’d have some practice she thought, Funghoul looked up, walking over to her, ignoring how his boots kicked up dirt on the wooden floors, his eyes where full of his own tears now, “I’m glad to see you” he forced out, hugging her gently as Poison allowed him between them, “You too” she coughed, a wheezing cough and grimaced, holding her waist, Party reached out, supporting her arm, DD looked on, worried, but knowing her wouldn’t make it in time to help, “Frankie” she said once she’d caught her breath, “It’s needs to be rebroken, and set, _now_ ” he looked shocked, his mouth opened to protest, “Please Frank” she insisted, “Now” he nodded unhappily, she limped, using Gerard’s arm for support into the back room, she lay down uncomfortably on the floor, but it was a flat surface and that’s what was important, “Gee” she soothed, seeing his panic, “Bandana” she requested, looking at the yellow and black fabric that hung around his neck, she felt bad that she couldn’t comfort him more in that moment, he looked shell shocked, and she understood that, it was all happening fast for her, and she’d been planning for days, so god knows how this felt for him, still he nodded, passing it to her slowly, she held it in her bandaged hands, “Mikey?” she called, her voice breaking, he looked down at her, appearing from behind his older brother, “Get some bandages from DD, third gauge please” he blinked once or twice, unmoving, “He’ll know what it means” she promised before settling back down, she wished this had been calmer, she wished she had the energy or ability to explain herself in that moment, to hug all of them and walk them through why this was needed, but it _hurt_ and this was going to _hurt_ more, and it had to be done quickly, whilst the drugs from B/L that stopped her from passing out or vomiting wore off “do you remember Ghoul?” she pressed, the smaller man had rolled up his sleeves and was kneeling next to her, “I’m-I don’t” he said, sounding frantic, “Maybe” she smiled, using the hand Gerard wasn’t holding to grip his as tightly as she could manage, she pulled it down to her ribcage, to the rib that was protruding painfully, “Push it up until it cracks” she instructed, “not down, down and you could puncture-” Gerard hissed, “When did you?” he went to question, “not now” she whimpered, “please” she added, she’d go into that another time, he examined her face and for once saw fear, plain to read, tainting it, she held his hand a little tighter, “Don’t punch him” she muttered before releasing Frank’s hand and using it to wedge the bandana she’d borrowed between her teeth, Frank eyed her up, his own hands shaking now, “Ready?” he asked, his voice small, Gerard was shaking now, but she gave a small nod, and he gently moved his hands under her top, feeling for the unusual bone, one he located he touched it lightly, she flinched and made a noise similar to a groan, the skin was hot under his fingers, he felt sick, but she nodded again, so Frank inhaled and pushed up brutally, she screamed, as much as she could with the gag and gripped Gerard’s hand so hard he was sure she’d broken it, Poison thought she must’ve done, if he hadn’t done that himself by using it to hit the wall outside, whatever, if that had healed she’d definitely recreated something, but he didn’t mind one bit, she convulsed slightly as frank continued, until he heard the faintest crack, he felt it more than heard it, just like she’d once explained, he stopped, removing his hand, staring stunned that she was still awake, Mikey stood, jaw agape holding a bundle of white cloth, Frank’s hands where shaking now more than ever, Gerard dropped to her level, cupping her head in his hands, he slid the bandana down away from her mouth, she panted loudly, still trembling, “are you okay?” a stupid question, he knew she wasn’t, she didn’t lie either, she just reached out for his arm, “Set-” she forced out, Frank nodded, and he and Gerard helped her to her unsteady feet, her knees buckled, Gerard held her firm, “Shirt-up” she requested, looking at Gerard who obeyed, gently pulling the fabric up so her ribcage was exposed, it was a tie-dyed map of purples, yellows and faded red, healing wounds and large welts, he noticed she had nothing on underneath, but he didn’t have long to feel uncomfortable on her behalf as Frank began wrapping her torso with the bandages, “tighter” she whispered, breathless, “like you’re trying to-” Gerard shushed her, as Frank pulled a little more,   
“Hurt you” he finished, “I remember” Ghoul said, matching her volume, he tied it off, pinning it behind her, he looked at her for approval, she nodded once and Gerard dropped her shirt allowing it to flow back down to her knees, DD had materialised along with Show Pony and Ray in the door way, they where all staring at her in silence, “sorry it-” she inhaled shakily, “It needed” she forced out a breath unhappily, “needed to be done” she finished at last, Gerard shook his head firmly, “Don’t apologise” he instructed, Dr D made a noise in agreement “You need to rest” he pressed as Frank shuffled out of view, probably to throw up, “I won’t sleep” she replied quietly, gripping the red haired man’s jacket for support, he noticed and wrapped himself around her, holding her up, “why not?” he looked down, his face a mask of worry, she smiled slightly, her cheeks flushing red, “I think one of the shots” she panted, “I-think-it” he joined her in blushing then, “Understood” he assured her, feeling awful for broaching the subject, of course it would be something like that, “Either way” Dr D commented, “You should try and rest, shots or not, your body needs to heal” Mikey nodded in agreement, and Frank reappeared then, he was looking at his own hands, an almost horrified expression on his face. She tried to take a step forward, but her legs gave way, Gerard, not missing a beat lifted her in a swift motion, she wrapped her hands around his neck and buried her head into his chest.


	5. Chapter 5

I heard who I assumed was Dr D telling Gerard to take me to his room, I allowed my eyes to shut, I could smell Gerard, he smelt of blood and sweat and leather, I could rest I thought, finally, no more imminent planning or danger, I was _home,_ well as close to that as I could get, I felt myself being lowered onto the mattress and I whined involuntarily, “sorry, sorry, sorry” Gerard stammered quietly as he rushed to close the door, he returned to me, and pulled the covers up over my legs, I was shivering, I hadn’t even noticed, “sorry, sorry, sorry” he continued as he fussed around with nothing, I shook my head, or at least I tried to, whatever I did caught his attention as he stopped moving and just stared at me, pure _feeling_ in his face, I smiled, he looked flustered, “Stop” I requested, he looked guiltily from where he was hiding by the door, I knew he wasn’t doing well, I’d known from the second I’d seen his face as they took me away, he slipped off his jacket and carefully approached the other side of the bed, he crawled under the covers and joined me, I tried to shift closer to him but felt myself whimper again, he noticed my attempt and “can I?” he asked, barely a whisper, I nodded quietly, he smiled, pulling me into an embrace, I smiled too, my throbbing hands pulling at his waist, trying to hold on, his breathing was frantic and shallow, I looked up, I saw tears filling his eyes and spilling down his cheeks, I reached up, using my bandaged hands to dry his cheeks, he looked down properly now, terrified, like a child being scolded, “I’m sorry” he whispered, “I’m so- sorry” he began to sob, I shook my head again, “no” I hummed, it was almost all I could manage, “Gee” I soothed, “didn’t do anything wrong” he bit his lip and faked a laugh, “I let them hurt you” he countered, I smiled gently, kissing whatever bit of him I could reach, “not your fault” I muttered, he shook his head, but I don’t think even he could bring himself to argue with me tonight, I took that as a win, I settled down, I looked at the walls, DD’s room was dark, posters decorated the walls, although I couldn’t focus on them properly, I could sense them there, he had a proper bed, a proper bed I was grateful for, an old chest of drawers with picture frames housing old polaroids, and a few beer bottles littering the surface, I could smell cigarettes and old alcohol, I worried about him then, but Pony wouldn’t have let him go too far, I was worried about Gerard too, he was trying to calm himself, I could tell by the way he was moaning intermittently, I was starting to feel my body _pulse,_ something must have been waring off because I was starting to really feel everything again, I gritted my teeth and forced out a breath, glad that we’d managed to set everything in time, Gee must have noticed because he looked down, his eyes full of concern despite the tears filling them, “we don’t” I tried to explain, steading my breathing again, “we don’t have anything for it” he understood, and kissed my head softly, “never letting you out of my sight again” he promised, letting himself hold me a little tighter, I must have over estimated whatever drugs I’d been given, or under estimated how much my body needed to give in, because within hours I was unconscious, I remained that way for a good few days, it wasn’t the kind of deep sleep you fall into when you’re just _tired_ it was a darkness that was probably more comparable to a coma, I blinked awake a few times, hissing in pain as Gerard or DD walked me to the bathroom, or poured water into my mouth and told me to swallow it, I did as I was asked, more a reflex than anything else, and I could occasionally hear murmurs surrounding me, I didn’t make any attempt to listen, I was also never _alone_ after the first night, someone had prised Gerard away from me, I vaguely remembered him putting up some kind of fight, but his presence was replaced quickly. I embraced it, keeping my eyes closed in my brief moments of aware pressing myself back down into sleep. 

 

She whimpered softly in his arms, her eyes blinking awake, she coughed as gently as she could manage, Gerard instantly helped her to sit up, bending her waist around her bandage as he did every time she woke to cough or drink or moan, she’d been out of it for 5 days, he’d counted them all, he’d only left her for about 4 hours total, he’d barely even slept, Dr D had made him leave with the others to clear their trail, he’d argued but in the end, he knew he was right, no one could find them, he wouldn’t risk it, so he’d gone, on the promise that DD would stay by her side until he’d returned, he did, assuring him she hadn’t woken in his absence, Mikey had offered to take over occasionally so he could shower, he’d declined, not being able to bring himself to leave her side for that, however Frank _had_ forced him to leave her side to eat, he’d be no good to her if he made himself sick he’d scolded, but now she remained sat up, not slumping back down in the bed, she reached up, her wrapped hands rubbing her eyes, she sighed, he smiled, happy, happy to hold her and have her somewhat back with him, he could feel his chest heaving, he wanted to cry, to beg her forgiveness to punch walls until he hurt as much as she did, but he swallowed, stroking her hair back from her eyes, it was tangled in dry strands, she hummed content at his touch, which caused his smile to widen, this is the most conscious she’d been in awhile, “Do you need anything?” he asked kindly, she looked up at him, almost curiously, before she sighed, shaking her head slowly “have you eaten?” she questioned then, her voice almost a whisper, eyeing him suspiciously, he shook his head not quite believing it, after _everything_ she was worried about _him._ She looked at him, concern spreading across her bruised face, she reached up, touching his cheek with her bandaged fingers, he bit his lip to stop from crying now, “it’s okay” she whispered, “I’m alright” it was like she was reading his mind, she smiled gently now, “don’t worry” she continued, her voice breaking as his breathing sped up, he was losing it, he wondered if she could tell, he didn’t have to wonder long, she pulled her self up, wincing as she shifted on her broken rib, before she reached out and pulled him into her embrace, forceful and calming as ever, he let it go then, he couldn’t help it, he _cried_ , he sobbed, holding onto her a little too hard, his red hair pushing into her neck as he mewled into her skin, he could taste her, dampness and dried blood from spots they’d missed when showering her, he was loud, she soothed him kindly, stroking small circles through his clothes with her damaged hands, he shook against her, “Baby” she whispered, the word almost a breath, he carried on weeping despite her attempts to comfort him, shaking his head, he couldn’t understand, he couldn’t explain, she couldn’t _know_ because if she did she wouldn’t still be trying, “stop” she insisted, “I’m _alright_ ” she murmured again, he tried to settle himself, to steady his breathing but he was overwhelmed, he didn’t like to be this vulnerable, especially knowing his brothers where so close by, but he couldn’t help it, he saw her when he closed his eyes, her face battered and bruised, here eyes red, her lips open, screaming on the screen, he should have raided every compound and got her back, “I-” he tried, “I-I’m” he cried louder, “I’m sorry” she hushed him, shaking her head, “don’t-be” she instructed her voice breaking and _familiar_ , he looked up, his eyes flowing with tears, they streamed down his face, she touched it again, it was hot, she could feel it in her finger tips, “It was my plan” she reminded him, he inhaled sharply, her voice becoming stronger, looking panic struck, “Don’t” he demanded, “it’s-it’s not your fault” he hissed, once again attempting to calm himself, she placed a kiss on his head, he lingered there, not wanting to lose her cold lips on his skin, “I know” she assured him, groaning in pain as she pushed forward into him, “but” she continued, “it’s not yours either” he shook his head, his breath shaking, he took her hands in his own, and kissed her again, this time pressing his lips into hers, “I-” he began as he broke away, pressing frantic kisses on her face, her neck, anywhere he could reach, “I do” he muttered, still kissing her, “I love you” he promised, not being able to stop himself from admitting it at last, he’d never wanted to say anything so badly, he’d never wanted to say it before because he was too scared of what it’d do to him if she knew, or if he made it real and he lost her, he didn’t care now, he’d lost her once, and if it ever happened again he wouldn’t stick around long without her, she smiled softly, pulling one hand away from his too tuck his hair behind his ear, “I love you too” he shivered, enjoying the moment of pure bliss, before he noticed her chest heaving slightly, he felt sick again then, she was hurting, he remembered seeing her, he remembered her hands, he remembered Korse’s hands, “Did-” he coughed, looking down at her body, “Did he-” she shook her head, 

“No” she answered before he could ask,   
“touch you?” he finished, she swallowed, “yeah” she sighed, “he touched me” she held his hand, “but like I told him” she explained, “I’ve had worse” he laughed quietly and sadly, fighting back the image of her on the screens _again_ , she must have sensed it because she spoke, “I know” she began “I know you saw” he looked at her, his eyes filling with guilt, she did know, she did know that they’d left her there, he went to apologise again, but there was a knock on the door, he bit back a snarl as he curled around her protectively, “it’s ok” she whispered, “dracs don’t knock” she held his face wiping away his fresher tears as she kissed him again, “come in” she called as loudly as she could manage when the pulled apart, Frank’s head appeared from behind the door, he looked apologetic, “any chance” he cleared his throat, “You’re down to eat lunch?” he eyed her warily, he’d been planning on forcing Gerard, but seeing her awake, he had to get her to eat something or DD would never forgive him, she sighed, flexing her toes, she could feel her legs, she nodded looking at the man at her side, “help me up?” she requested quietly, he stood instantly, lifting her, she bit back a scream, he must have noticed because he hissed out a “shit” and another “sorry” as he placed her gently to her feet, Frank rushed over, taking her arm for support, Gerard gripped her other side and together they walked her into the main room, Dr D sat grinning, Mikey was fidgeting with something as he sat cross legged on the wooden flooring, and Show Pony was just walking back into the room with a tray of steaming bowls, she assumed it was soup, she was grateful for the gesture, although she was certain everything would taste like cardboard until the sores on her tongue healed. They helped her to the couch, it was dark blue and threadbare, the cushions permanently flattened but it was _heaven_ , she shifted herself, ignoring the burning in her ribs as she sat crosslegged between Frank and Gerard who took their places at her flanks, it felt nice to be out, it felt nice to move a little, god she thought, it felt nice to be _awake_ , Poison kept hold of her hand, Funghoul however released her and reached out to Show Pony who passed him a metal bowl full of dark brown liquid, it smelt of spices and she felt her mouth water, she was hungrier than she’d realised, Gerard turned to smile at her, his face full of affection, he passed her a spoon with the hand he wasn’t holding, she looked down hers awkwardly, “Poison” she whispered, he turned his head, as everyone settled behind them, she flexed the hand he was still holding, “I’m not going anywhere” she swore, he understood, reluctantly releasing her, she blushed as she was handed the dish from Frank, she muttered a thank you before shifting, “You had us worried” DD announced, his dry voice breaking the silence, she looked up from where she was using her shaking hands to shovel the thick, warm liquid into her mouth, she swallowed, the heat soothing her throat, “I know” she acknowledged, “I’m-” she tried to say, but Gerard shot her a warning glance, and Dr D shook his head, “Don’t you dare apologise” he warned, she bit her tongue, blushing, Poison looked on in approval as she went back to eating, “I did try and show you I was okay” she explained as she took another break from feeding herself, she fiddled with the fraying edges of the wrapping that encased her hands, she’d try and rewrap them later she mused, she wondered if she could get away with removing them now, they should be near enough heeled, they definitely weren’t bleeding- Gerard put his hand on her knee, breaking her day dream, everyone was looking at her expectantly, “I’m sorry?” she queried, “what?” Frank chuckled softly, nodding at Mikey to repeat himself, he made eye contact with her, “We would have come” he told her, “We would have-” she smiled _again “_ I know” she promised, reassuring him the best she could with her face, “But” she swallowed another mouthful of soup, “You didn’t have too” Kobra nodded gently, appreciating her attempt at relieving their guilt, it hadn’t worked much, but he’d spoken for his brother more than himself, his own feelings where something he could deal with, he was just glad to have her back, but he’d heard Gerard crying every night she’d been away, and every night since she’d been back, it broke his heart to see his older brother so distraught, they all felt responsible, but Poison, Poison had been on the edge since before this, and he knew he’d been close to breaking. “How’d you-” Pony tried to burst out, Dr Death elbowed him in the ribs, she tutted at the older man, “let him ask” she instructed, humour filling her voice, he shook his head nervously glancing around, “How’d you get out?” he continued, asking what everyone was thinking, she smiled slightly, “It” she began, realising everyone was staring at her with expectant eyes, “I noticed the gas chambers when they where moving me around” she began, her voice becoming less dry and scratchy, “and I met a guy” she looked off into the distance, clearly lost in the memory, “he helped me time it all” she admitted, “He stole a match” she shook her head, Gerard was holding her leg gently, “I don’t know how he got it” she clarified, “but we figured it out, if they where taking one of us to the broadcast area, we could throw it in and-“ “Kaboom!” Dr D cut in, obviously beaming with pride, she nodded, not matching his enthusiasm, “Yeah” she agreed, “anyway, in the shock of the first blast I got myself down” she looked at her hands at the same time as Gerard, he was trying to figure out how she’d ripped them from the frame, he couldn’t bring himself to picture it for long, “and the first room set off a second explosion, we didn’t expect that” she noted, “Anyway, I’d figured out how Korse was getting in and out, so I stole a gun from a Drac that had been taken out and I ran, the dude had told me where a bike would be, they have loads of transport, so I shot off the tracker and headed here” she finished up her story, her eyes snapping back to focus, “What about the man?” Frank asked, genuinely curious, she looked uncomfortable then, or guilty, Gerard couldn’t quite read her face, “He didn’t make it” she confirmed, her voice low, “we didn’t expect the second blast” she repeated, “I couldn’t-” Gerard shook his head, cutting her off, “It’s not your fault” he murmured, she smiled softly, nodding, she looked back at Show Pony “What about the mouth thing” he blurted out after a moment of her unwavering stare, “how’d you wind up with that?” Gerard looked angry and protective, he was about to shout something about minding his business but she placed a calming hand on his leg now, she smirked, like she was laughing at a private joke, her mouth stung, it _looked_ sore, they could all see it, tiny pin pricks surrounding the soft skin of her lips, Gerard had been scared to kiss her incase it hurt, it had hurt, but it was worth it, “A guard” she began, looking away now, her voice dropping, “tried to um” she made eye contact with Poison, who was now staring at her lips again, she suddenly regretted her initial instinct to answer, “tried to put his” she paused trying to think of the softest way to put it, and trying not to think about it to much, “anyway” she avoided the word, looking away, Gerard made a noise she couldn’t quite identify, and everyone looked at her slightly differently, apart from Frank who looked almost proud of her, she looked back at her food, prepared another mouthful before finishing her sentence quietly, “I bit it off, and they didn’t trust me after that” she ate as a mixture of shocked and confused sounds filled the room before realisation coated the men and the small space filled with silence, “plus, I was annoying them” she tried to lighten the mood,Gerard was gripping her knee now, she could feel his nails pressing into her skin, leaving small indents, she must have let a whimper escape as she shifted because he instantly relaxed his hand, Gerard was trying to look at the floor and let his eyes relax, he couldn’t handle any more mental images of her in _pain_ , he knew now at least he thought, and no one would touch her again, “That’s my girl” DD praised, breaking the tension, she gave a light grin, scraping the last of the food from her plate. “It’ll never happen again” Poison promised suddenly, he hadn’t chosen to speak, she met his gaze now, he was looking at her, she could tell he was looking at every mark and blaming himself, she leant back and touched his hands, he looked almost shocked, she swallowed, exhaling as he tried not to look undeserving of her comforting, he smiled as she spoke, “I know” her voice was quiet, she looked at him sternly, almost commanding him to be kinder to himself, before she closed her eyes, feeling her stomach swell, she hadn’t eaten in a _long_ time, she could have eaten more but it would have made her sick, her ribs throbbed slightly, but she pursed her lips, “any other” she looked around the room, “queries?” everyone shifted from side to side, Ray emerged from where he’d been hidden from view by the wall, “any advice, for if something like this happens again?” she chuckled, cutting off Gerard’s ability to panic, feeling her lungs push against her broken bone, “Just don’t get caught in the first place” she instructed, “or do what I didn’t, and jump out of the van, even if it’s moving" he nodded, returning her warm expression, grateful for a sense of normality, she didn’t blame him, she wanted him to know, “I don’t blame you” she expressed quietly, “any of you” she clarified, as Frank held his breath beside her “and I _really_ am, and _will_ be alright” Dr D exhaled, relaxing into his seat, he’d needed that, he truly had, he’d never had children of his own, Motor Baby and Show Pony had been the kids he’d chosen, he’d loved her like a father since she’d appeared like a drowned rat on his door all those years ago.“And” she suddenly continued, “I _would_ do it again” Gerard growled beside her, gripping her again, “You wont” he countered, she shook her head, “No” she agreed, “but I _would,_ If it meant we’d get back to this” she looked around the room with her tired eyes, “now” she soothed, seeing Gerard tense, he wanted to carry her back to somewhere he could hold her, “any other proper, questions?” the room was briefly quiet, “What the fuck did you say to Korse?” Frank asked, his voice serious and genuinely enthralled, she smirked then, ignoring how it pulled at the sensitive skin on her face, everyone was staring at her, waiting, “it’s a long story” she muttered, they all stared at her, encouraging her to continue, Gerard was tracing patterns on the back of her neck with his thumb, “If you pretend to be dead, or sleeping, or just, I don’t know, _invisible_ ” she began quietly, “You can overhear a lot” Poison blinked at her, urging her to elaborate, “I found out a secret” she answered, her voice trailing off, Dr Death spoke then, “What secret?” he pressed unable to stop himself, she didn’t know if this was the opportune moment to answer but she met his gaze, “He has a daughter” she felt her smile melt into her face, like it would become a permanent fixture, god she felt smug, and it was what had made every second she was there _almost_ worth it, everyone was utterly speechless, “I told him her name, I told her I hoped she was well” she admitted, feeling a pang of anger unfurl in her gut, “It might come in useful one day” she finished, “No More questions tonight” DD instructed, walking over to her, his heavy legs thudding on the wood as he approached her, she wondered where his stick was, she didn’t have time to scold him about not using it because he kissed her hair, “I’ll tell you more if you ever need to know” she promised him quietly as he passed her, “if you ever think it’ll help” his hand lingered gratefully on her shoulder, he looked over at Poison, he was sat, his red hair needed washing and his routes where coming in dark and tangled, his chest was rising and falling quickly, his breathing shallow, he wondered when he’d last actually slept, he shot him a glare that was more intimidating than he’d meant it to be, before he muttered his instruction, “look after her” and turned, limping away to make the notes he needed to and to maybe sleep himself, Gerard simply nodded, turning back to his brothers as DD left the room. 


	6. Chapter 6

“What now?” Frank asked gently once Pony had followed Dr Death into the back portion of the safe house, Mikey shrugged, fist bumping Ray as he came to a halt beside him. She opened her eyes again, they stung as she looked around into the lights, “We need to move soon” she reminded them, ignoring how Gerard was already tensing beside her, “not until you’re ready” Mikey assured her, she nodded thoughtfully, “You all look like shit” she noted, they burst out into shocked laughter, even Poison giggled under his breath, “I mean it” she confirmed, “We must’ve been here a week, there are showers and shelter” she let her legs unfurl, putting her feet on the floor but not attempting to stand, “why haven’t you all rested up?” she looked almost disappointed in them, Frank ran a hand through his hair, it _was_ clean “at least Frank showered” she complimented, smiling, he looked almost guilty as Mikey nudged Ray, “we’ve been preoccupied” Gerard reminded her kindly, she looked at his face, he hadn’t had a proper nights sleep in a long time, she could read it on every inch of his features, she nodded acknowledging his comment, “I’m _fine_ ” she answered, he sighed, “I am” she argued, “I’m back” he swallowed loudly, not arguing, she grinned, loving the liberty she could take whilst he was still unwilling to counter her, “You should all eat, and shower and sleep” she instructed, “properly” she added as an after thought, Gerard looked at Mikey, like he could burst with pride, the room was warm, and it _smelt,_ it smelt of damp wood and unwashed bodies, the wooden floor was covered in dust and dirt and blood, the few mattresses around the place were old and stained but at least they where safe, and inside, and not on the ground, Dr D’s place had always been a heaven, undetectable and protected, with running water and a microwave, she thought back to when she’d first arrived, remembering that at one point they’d even had a _coffee machine_ , a small grin played across her face until she remembered that that’s why they couldn’t stay. Too many people, too much attention, “You too Gee” she pressed, “you need to sleep” she soothed, trying not to embarrass the man at her side, Ray nodded in agreement, “Yeah dude” he inserted, “We can all rest a little easier now” he winked at her, she licked her lips as Poison exhaled in defeat, “and” she teased, “you need to dye your hair” he laughed again, turning to look at her, “I’ll settle for a shower for now” he compromised, she nodded, “I need one too” she allowed, he looked a little happier with that, Mikey shuffled, “Gee” he asked, “can I have a sec with Motor?” Gerard looked uneasily at his brother, “You can start the water” she answered for him, Frank and Ray took the cue to leave, they wondered off together talking about relief and sleep and bedding, Gerard finally groaned, standing, and nodding once at Mikey before he left towards the shower room, “what’sup?” she pressed when they where alone, she looked at the young man, his eyes reminded her of Poison’s, the same guilt and self loathing filled them as he blinked, Kobra stood, walking over to her and crouching in front of her, “I just wanted” he coughed awkwardly, his cheeks flushing, “I’m glad you’re safe” he said, “and I’m sorry-” she opened her mouth to stop him, but he spoke again, “-I know, I know you’re fine or whatever, but still, I am” he promised, “we are, sorry and we would have come” she nodded, “I know” she assured him, knowing that it was something he _had_ to say, “Mikey” she soothed, seeing his face still full of sadness, “you’re all being too hard on yourselves” he sighed happily, looking up at her, his hand on her knee, “really” she confirmed, “I’m not mad, I’m not harbouring some deep seeded resentment” he chuckled again at her, she matched his smile, ruffling his hair, “I love you all” she reminded him, “and I know you would have come when you could” she affirmed, “I’m just glad you didn’t have to” he nodded understanding, Gerard cleared his throat from the doorway, his face happy at the exchange, he hoped his brother would have some comfort now, he needed it, “Shower’s ready” he told her quietly, feeling guilty for interrupting but not really, because he needed her back, as glad as he was that his younger brother may be feeling better, he was selfish, he needed her face, he needed _her_. She nodded, trying to stand, Mikey helped her, but only a little, her legs where becoming less stiff, she grinned, testing a few steps on her own, Kobra gently kept his hand on her shoulder, ready to catch her if she stumbled but she made it to Gerard unassisted, however slowly, Gee reached out and took her hand, she looked down then, remembering the bandages, she pulled her hand away, he looked hurt for a split second until she pulled the bandage loose with her teeth, sliding her hand free from the mess of blood stained fabric, she grimaced, it wasn’t as painful as it was _tight,_ her plan was scabbed and scarred but she hadn’t needed to keep it covered anymore, she repeated the process on the other side, Gerard looked at her, wide eyed and concerned as she flexed them, smiling as she noticed that she could feel all of her fingers perfectly, she offered to take Poison's hand again, he looked at her palms, his jaw slightly open, a panicked look on his face, “I-” he muttered, stroking her hand gently, “will it hurt?” he asked, his voice basically a whisper, she shook her head, closing her fingers around his softly, “no” she confirmed, testing her grip, he nodded, blinking away the stinging in his eyes as he lead her to the shower room, the designated wet room in DD’s shack was a tiled space the size of a small wardrobe, the floor was grey texture linoleum, the walls a grey smooth ceramic spread, there was a drain in the bottom corner of the floor, a single tap that always ran tepid and a shower head that was rusted but it _worked,_ they walked in, Gerard helped her out of DD’s t-shirt, and he removed the bandage from her ribs, the sudden ability to expand her lungs properly sent a wave of pain through her body, he held her until she settled, before stripping out of his layers, dropping them on a heap on the floor, the only things he left outside were his gun and his boots, she noted that, “My gun” she queried as they stepped under the stream of luke-warm water, she winced as it ran over her hands, he nodded, holding her waist gently, not applying pressure, just, touching her skin, “we got it” he assured her, Pony had brought it back the day they’d lost her, he hadn’t mentioned it until they’d left, but it was waiting, on top of a pile of her clothes that Frank had arranged on DD’s bed, there was leggings and a vest and her _hoodie,_ “I have your hoodie too” he admitted, feeling strangely guilty as he looked at her, he blushed under the water, she laughed quietly, “I assumed so” she teased, “I left it in the tent” she recalled, he nodded, avoiding eye contact, she reached up and touched his cheek, “why the face?” she queried, he looked at her, “it’s just my face” he joked, before kissing her wet hair, “I kept it with me” he told her, looking even more guilty as he said it aloud, she smiled, reaching up to the small shelf that was carved into the wall and grabbing the liquid soap, “Did it help?” she asked, curious, as she lathered the substance in her hands, feeling it sting slightly, before she ran it over her hair, he blinked at her, water dripping from his eye lashes, he stroked her arms, “a little” he breathed, helping her rinse the back of her long hair under the shower, she turned into the stream fully now, allowing it to flow over her face, she stepped forwards then, handing him the soap and looking at him expectantly, “good” she said, her tone approving in response to his earlier admission, “I was worried” she murmured as he began to wash himself, he looked down at her, suds in his hair, confusion on his face, “I didn’t want you upset” she explained, he exhaled, reaching up and rinsing the grime from his red hair, it _had_ been too long, the water around their feet was brown as it swirled down the drain, he shook his head finally, “Of course we were upset” he told her, reaching down again and touching her cheeks, she shook her head, “I meant _you_ ” she clarified, he bit his lower lip, turning the tap off now they where both as clean as they where getting, his chest heaved suddenly and he felt himself having to reign himself back in, she saw it too, “I worried about you, making yourself sick” she confirmed, reaching out and holding his wrists, he looked up at her, scared, more scared than she thought she’d ever seen him, “so” she soothed, “I’m glad I could help a little” she kissed him, “even if it was just my hoodie” she joked, he smiled down at her, his face full of love, “I couldn’t-” he started to admit, “I couldn’t-handle” she hushed him, looking around for the towels, she wrapped herself in one, before passing one to him, he tied it around his waist, “I’m not leaving you” she swore, “I know you need me to stay where you can see me” she confirmed, he exhaled, he hadn’t realised how much he’d needed her to say that until that moment, and it suddenly took every ounce of energy he had not to drop to his knees and cry, “protect” he altered, she nodded again, “I’m not going” she assured him, “but” she countered, “you need to let go” she cooed, he questioned her with his face, “you need to rest” she instructed him, “and stop holding everything in” he inhaled shakily, “I know” she held his hand in hers, it did feel tender, but it was worth it, “I know you’re not well” she told him firmly, he nodded, finally admitting it felt strange, he hadn’t even _said_ it, she had, but he suddenly felt more exposed than he had a few minutes ago, and that was when he was naked and showering with her, now he was shaking, wrapped in a towel, holding onto her for dear life, and trying not to beg her never to leave him again, he wanted to scream about how he was scared of sleeping because every time he closed his eyes he saw her in agony where he couldn’t save her, he wanted to tell her how he hadn’t eaten properly since she’d been away and how he didn’t deserve food because he wanted to hurt like she did, he wanted to be held and told he was never going to lose her again, but he couldn’t accept that because he just couldn’t and he wanted to tell Mikey and Frank and Ray how grateful he was for them putting up with him but he couldn’t bare to not be with her for a second and he wanted to tell Dr Death that he was right with everything he’d said and he’d never deserved her in the first place but he couldn’t take that kind of shouting again, suddenly her lips where on his, she was holding him close and warm, the water dripping down her shoulders onto his chest, “stop” she murmured as they broke apart, he whined sadly and she kissed him again, she held onto him, he hadn’t noticed how violently his body was vibrating, he was holding back sobs, “later” she promised as she pulled away again, “you can let it go later” she confirmed as he swallowed, he stood a little straighter then, smiling at her, “I’m ok” he told her, “I’m alright” he continued, not sure of who he was trying to convince,“I know” she answered, more confident than he was, walking slowly with him out of the humidity into the warm dusty atmosphere of the main house, they walked uninterrupted into DD’s room, they both found a pile of clothes folded on the bed, she grinned, this had Frank written all over it, she dropped her towel, picking up a bundle of bandages that had been left with her clothes, she handed it to Gerard, who had just put on his t-shirt and jeans, he took it, unsure of what to do, “Wrap it tight” she instructed, “it has to be _tight_ ” she repeated, he walked to her and began binding her, “a little more” she inhaled, he nodded, remembering what she’d said to Frank, _‘like you’re trying to hurt me’_ she grinned in approval as he tied it off, fastening it with 3 safety pins, “does it help?” he asked, genuinely curious, she nodded, pulling on her vest and sitting on the bed to pull on her leggings, “A little” she answered finally as she stood, pulling on her hoodie and putting her gun into the front pocket, “but it’s important, for it to heal” he crouched, pulling her socks on for her, a question suddenly burst into his head, “When did you teach Frankie that stuff?” he shivered, standing back to his feet with her, she sighed, looking slightly guilty, “after Christa” she started, pulling her hair back into a ponytail, “I thought one of you should know the basics, incase I ever wasn’t there” she finished, not going into more detail, he nodded considerately, “He’s not as good as you” he noted, she laughed then, “I hope not” he grinned with her, “I’ve had practice” she reminded him, “ he doesn’t like it much” Gerard inserted, she nodded in agreement, “I don’t particularly enjoy it” she exhaled, glad to be moving around so much more easily now her body was readjusting to not being stationary, “he’ll do, in an emergency” she assured Poison, he hummed thoughtfully, not wanting to push it anymore, “How do you feel?” he said quietly, changing the subject, she stretched her arms out in front of her, hearing her knuckles click, “good” she announced finally, he exhaled with relief, “you?” she probed, looking at his face, he looked away, “I could eat” he admitted, she smiled, satisfied with the honesty, “let’s go get some left overs” she suggested, he put his arm around her waist, nodding, “if you’re sure?” he checked, she chuckled lightly, already walking tentatively towards the door.


	7. Chapter 7

“Thank you” I whispered as I walked passed Funghoul, touching his shoulder so he’d know it was directed at him, he looked at me, confused, “For the clothes” I humoured him, it was obviously his doing, nicely folded, clean laundry, he smiled then, proudly, “was nothing” he muttered, I exhaled calmly as I continued past him, “Gerard?” Mikey questioned quietly, “he took his food into DDs room” Ray answered before I could, he was walking into the room from the showers, he looked cleaner, I eyed him approvingly, “Rest up” I commanded as I wondered into the room I’d hijacked with Gerard, I heard laughter behind me, and a “Yes Ma’am” from someone I could only guess was Mikey, they could joke all they wanted, we wouldn’t be staying much longer, and they’d need to be at their best, I pushed on the wooden door, it didn’t take much effort for it to creak open, I giggled slightly as I saw Gerard kicking all the empty beer bottles under the rotting bed frame, I raised an eyebrow as I closed the door behind me, sealing us in the space, he fussed with his hands, “I didn’t drink any-” I shook my head, “I know” I assured him, he looked relieved, “I’d know if you had” I told him bluntly, he nodded then, “I don’t think DD had too much-” he tried to reassure me, I laughed again, “he did” I cut him off, “any is too much for him” I reminded him, “And Pony’s already snitched on him” he looked away, probably guilty that he hadn’t noticed, “Don’t worry” I said kindly, reaching up and stroking his arm, he looked down at me, definitely guilty now, “He’s not an easy man” I joked, he smiled, biting his bottom lip nervously, “I hope he wasn’t to bad with you guys?” I pressed gently, not wanting to demand answers, I knew Gerard wouldn’t bad mouth DD to me, but I also knew what the older man was like, he shook his head, “He wasn’t pleasant” he admitted, “the first day” he clarified, reaching down and stroking my neck, “but he was justified” I shook my head now, 

“I doubt that” I teased, leading Poison over to the bed, he had toast stacked up on a plate, “But you’re being kind” I allowed, he didn’t speak, just followed me and sat at my side, I could tell he wanted to make some lame excuse for how harsh I had no doubt my adopted father had been, I wasn’t going to listen to it, so I was glad he was biting his tongue, “eat” I pressed as we both arranged ourselves comfortably on the surface, I kicked my feet under the wool blanket, and he shuffled the pillows up behind his back, he exhaled shakily then, offering me the plate, I declined, “I’m not hungry” I told him honestly, he continued breathing heavily before surrendering and feeding himself, satisfied that he was being _somewhat_ kinder to himself I closed my eyes and drifted off into a restless sleep. 

 

“Baby?” Poison’s gentle voice woke me, “are you okay?”

I yawned, bringing my hands up to my eyes and rubbing them, “Yeah” I answered, feeling the sleep drain from my body, he was smiling at me, lying on his side, I’d been tucked under the covers, “did you eat?” I asked, looking around suspiciously for the plate his toast had been on, he chuckled, shaking his head in disbelief, he pushed my hair out of my face, I wondered where the bobble had gone, “I ate” he confirmed, I returned his smile, “You ever gonna stop worrying about me?” he pressed, sounding amused at the concept, I examined his face, he still didn’t look _right_ I pursed my lips, “I don’t think so” I replied finally, he blinked and looked away, almost embarrassed, I kissed at his hand as he traced it up my jaw, “does it still hurt?” he pressed as he gently touched my lips with his fingers, I shook my head, he smiled, relieved, “Just the rib” I confirmed, “but your skin?” he began to ask, disbelieving, I could still see the bruising covering my limbs and my stomach, but I pushed my finger down on one of the patches of blue, there was a dull ache but nothing really, and they where already fading, “like I said” I smiled up at him, “I’ve had worse” he looked horrified at the memory, so I kindly reached out, tangling my fingers in his hair, his eyes snapped to mine then, “I’m fine” I assured him, he huffed out a fake laugh, I pulled his head in towards me and I kissed his brow, “It looks worse than it is” I promised, he didn’t argue, but I could feel his breathing getting shallower, “What’s wrong?” I pressed when he didn’t settle himself, he blinked at me, raising himself up on his elbow, “I can’t stop-” he whispered, “I can’t stop _seeing_ it” I shook my head and shushed him gently, “Poison” I cooed, “You need to stop that” I instructed him, “None of it is your fault” I reminded him, he was crying now, tears running silently down his cheeks, “Everything is okay” He shook his head lamely, sniffing, he was making no effort to stifle his sobbing but I doubted he could have stopped even if he’d tried, “It _is_ okay Gerard” I affirmed, wiping his face with my hands, his chest was heaving, “You need to sleep” I half scolded, he blinked at me silently, “I can’t” he hissed, 

“You can” I argued, “You have too” I softened, seeing how he was staring at my arms, “I’m not in pain” I promised, he looked up again, disbelieving, “But _you_ are” I challenged, “You’re making yourself sick” I told him, “You need to sleep” I began, “We can’t stay here much longer” he swallowed, he knew I was right, he nodded slightly, I smiled at him, stroking his hair gently, “I’m fine” I repeated, “I’m back with you” I reminded him, “and I’m _fine_ ” he choked back a cry as he closed his eyes, “nothing’s going to happen to me” I promised, “Sleep” I stressed the last word,   
“will-” he started, cutting himself off, I pressed his cheek softly, “will you stay with me?” he murmured, “if I sleep?” I laughed quietly, nodding, “yeah” I sighed happily, “I’ll stay”


	8. Chapter 8

“We need to leave” She said bluntly, everyone was gathered in the front room of the shack, well over a week had no passed since her return, Dr Death sat unhappily at his desk, he nodded, “ _you_ can stay” he offered, “you can _always_ stay” he added quietly, Frank was sat silently on the floor playing cards with Mikey and Ray, trying to ignore the discussion, or at the very least, stay out of any arguments, Show Pony was unusually average in appearance, jeans, a plain top and wet hair as he walked into the room, she missed alone time with Pony, she smiled widely at him as he ruffled her hair, Gerard was perched, tense at her side on the couch, “a few more-” he tried, she shook her head, “No” she inserted, “We’ve been here too long already” she sounded scornful, DD looked at her, his face full of affection, “Motor Baby can stay as long as she needs” he continued, “one or two of you _could_ stay, but there are too many people here” he explained, they already knew, they’d been pushing their luck, Kobra and Jet Star had offered to leave, Frank had reluctantly agreed and suggested Poison and Motor staying behind for a longer period, “No” she spoke, sounding bored and knowing the idea was about to be rehashed, Gerard had continued to badger her about this plan for at least the past day and a half, “I’m _fine_ ” she argued, “I’m ready” Kobra looked up at his brother and the woman at his side supportively, he smiled a little as Poison exhaled in defeat, “Fine” he huffed, taking her hand, “We’ll move out tonight” DD nodded agreeing but not approving of the situation, he’d rather she’d stay on, with or without Gerard, he hated the idea of her running around the desert so soon, but he knew her well enough to know that if he tried to keep her here, he’d wake up to an empty room and a note as soon as he closed his eyes long enough. She looked him in the eyes, “Don’t worry DD” she joked, he rolled his eyes, “Got my rib healing up” she broke away from Gerard and stood, walking towards the exit, “got my boys” she gestured to the gang of men now behind her, she rubbed DD’s arm kindly, “It’s done” she soothed as she swung the door open and wandered out into the warm afternoon air. 

 

 

Show Pony appeared to join her in the dusty air, the sun beaming down as unforgiving as ever, she wondered briefly how the dirt didn’t burst into flames, Mikey’s motorbike was gleaming next to her, she hovered her hands above the metal, they warmed her palms like a fire would, the wounds there were healed, the scar tissue had formed well, and other than a little sensitivity they where almost back to normal, save their appearance. The younger man placed his hand on her shoulder, she spun snapping out of her thoughts and beaming at him, he hadn’t bothered with makeup, his hair was black and messy as always and he wore a bright blue vest and jeans, not tights today, she grinned wider, “Sup?” she pressed when his touch lingered, he shook his head, looking at her with an expression she couldn’t quite read, “gonna miss having you around again” he stated, dropping his hand, she leaned against the wall, he joined her, the bricks that Gerard had punched a few weeks earlier remained unfazed. She laughed, it was light like music in the air, the sun soaking into her face now, she looked better, her skin was almost fully recovered too now, her face was back to it’s previous state, unmarred and pretty much unscarred, save for one small mark above her lip on the left hand side, she had wondered why that one tiny indent remained, but not for long. “I’ll miss you too” she assured him, they were siblings, not by blood, but in everyother sense of the word, when she’d arrived on Dr Deathdefy’s door step, 16 years old and reckless, he had been 18, and already there, with the older man, he’d taken her under his wing, and assured her that this life was worth living, he’d shown her how to fight, and how to look after herself, and she’d taught him how to clean wounds and stitch skin and clothes, they’d been so close in age that they really had bonded, especially in DD’s times of sickness, they’d cry with each other, and fought with each other, the day she’d left to go out on her own he’d packed her a lunch and given her one of his shirts, when she’d come back to tell them about meeting the 4 men she now resided with he’d been the one to talk their adopted father from his fear fulled rage. He knew she meant it, they were older now, but still needed each other as much as they had back then, “When everything’s settled” she sighed, “We’ll hang out again, just the two of us” she promised. He nodded, looking happier, “Promise me” he muttered, his voice being so quite took her back, she looked at him intently, questing him, “Promise me, you wont scare us like that again” she exhaled, reaching out for his hand, giving him a gentle squeeze, “I’ll try” she replied, “I can’t promise not to scare you” she snorted, “But, I have no intention of getting myself caught again” she added, he chuckled then, his tone more light, “you had no intention of getting caught this time” he teased, she hummed in agreement, “You need more practice” she looked at him, and quickly jumped sidewards out of the way, just in time for him to throw a playful jab at her, she swung behind him, he turned and blinked at her, more relaxed now, seeing she could move without issue. “We’ll train up a bit when I’m next back” she suggested, he nodded, “will he be okay?” she questioned after a pause, her voice deeper, and more concerned as she spoke about Dr D, he looked a little more serious too as he considered her, “Yes.” he decided, “I mean, he’ll worry” he allowed, she nodded, “But the worst is done” she sighed happily, agreeing, “The _drinking_ -” he began, she cut him off, “If he does that again” her tone was stern, “You tell me” he giggled nervously, nodding, “No” she continued, placing her hand on his arm, “You don’t have to deal with that alone” he swallowed loudly, before giving a curt nod and grasping her hand, he turned it over and looked at her palm, the lighter tissue marbling the flesh, she flexed it, satisfying his curiosity, “It’s fine” she told him, “It really is just the rib still healing” he looked a little more convinced, “that’ll take time” he said quietly, she nodded happily, “I know” she assured him, “I can fight” she stretched up, “I’m not Funghoul” she joked, “I use my gun” he nodded, “Gerard wont let you near a fight anyway” he half sniggered, she laughed once more, filling the air with the same joyous energy as before, he breathed deeply, needing the light energy she brought with her, she was a healer in more ways than one. “No he wont” a mans voice agreed, appearing round the corner, her smile widened when she saw Frank standing there, his black hair shining, his face alive with humour, Show Pony nodded once more, grazing her arm and fist bumping Funghoul as he walked back towards the house. “Frankie” she sighed, a greeting as she slipped down the wall to her knees, relaxing down into the dirt and pressing her back against the hot stones, he joined her, positioning himself next to her. “We’re leaving sooner than planned” he said once he was settled, she raised her brow, questioning him, he chuckled dryly, “Poison want’s to head to a safe house a little further out, we need the light on our side” he responded, she nodded, “he shouldn’t fuss so much” she scolded, Frank shrugged, a concerned look on his face now, she nudged his knee playfully, “I’m alive” she whined, “there’s no need for all this” she waved around her face, he made a happy noise, looking at her more intently now, “He doesn’t _want_ to go at all” he spoke, almost a warning, “best to go along with it, we figure” she nodded in agreement, “He’s not well” she mumbled, he already knew, she was the best thing to happen to them in a long time, when she’d first run into them, swooping into a fire fight and taking out just enough Dracs for them to call it a win, they’d known she was a good thing, of course she’d disappeared, when they’d eventually met Dr D in person and had spotted her training in the yard, everyone had seen how Gerard had _flocked_ to her side, and she’d run away with them for a week or two at a time, from then on, she was like a limb, they had no idea how they’d ever managed without her. A few months into her travelling with them, and ducking back out to her own projects, Mikey had cut himself trying to fix the transam and they’d all panicked when it hadn’t stopped bleeding, Poison radioed her and she’d been there in minutes, stitching and cleaning his leg, smiling and laughing, and thats when they’d told her she was staying. She’d joked but eventually agreed, sharing a tent with their leader with no questions asked, it had been years now, and she was a firm fixture of the group, her and Poison shared the leading role now, she had a natural air of authority and as soon as Gerard started to bow to her so had the others, she was a brilliant mind for strategy and an amazing fighter, her medical training didn’t hurt, however her calm energy and ability to sooth the men around the camp was more valuable than any of that, now more than ever, “I know” Frank agreed with her, “He wasn’t well before all this” he bit his lip pensively, “Although” he thought aloud “you’re back” She grinned largely, and nodded in agreement, “I’ll make sure he’s alright” she promised, he returned her smile then, turning his head as footsteps approached, Mikey came into view then, he looked down at them both, running a hand through his bleached hair, “We know you will” he responded, if anyone could help his brother it would be her. Their love had been the worst kept secret that had ever existed, sharing a tent, holding hands, late night walks and the way that she was the only person that could quell is temper. Mikey adored his brother, and he’d easily adored her too, and when they’d finally kissed in front of him he wished he’d felt nothing but joy, unfortunately the world they lived in had made him cynical, after Christa was lost Gerard had become nearly as inconsolable as Ray, he didn’t show it as easily, however, it wasn’t just him blaming himself that caused his demeanour and mental shift, Mikey _knew_ his brother, probably better than he knew himself, and he knew that this had really made him consider losing who he loved, it always felt abstract, losing people they cared for, and Poison being the leader made it easier for him to pretend it wouldn’t happen to him, he could protect his group, then suddenly he was confronted with the fact that it wasn’t just the four of them in danger anymore, it was _her_ as well. This whole incident had solidified that, and forced him to admit his feelings, which Kobra approved of, and now, if anyone would be able to help his older brother, he’d bet his life it would be her, hell, she’d made _him_ feel better the day she’d come back from being _interrogated_ for christ sake, he was more glad than he’d ever admit to have her back with them. “Stop looking at me like that” she complained suddenly, Mikey smiled at her, she looked annoyed, “I’m not going to burst into flames” she joked, grinning again. Both Frank and Kobra chuckled with her, “I was just thinking” the younger Way admitted, “about how lucky we are to have you” she looked at him curiously as Frank hummed in agreement, she sighed finally, “you’re a dork” she muttered, “and if you stop looking at me like I’m made of glass you might _even_ get to keep me” she jibed. Their laughter was joined by Gerard’s then, he’d walked up behind his brother, his red hair glowing, he’d dyed it that morning, she could see the stains around his nails, “not glass” he whispered, coming up in front of her with love in his eyes, he reached out for her hand and she took it, “you’re more valuable than glass” he added, she rolled her eyes at him, “ _and_ not as delicate” she argued, taking his hand and standing, “I’m not broken boys” she reminded them, “and we should set off soon” she insisted seeing how Gerard was staring off into the distance as he clutched her hand, not quite with it. He nodded quickly, grateful to be setting off on a task. “Soon” she whispered in his ear as she stood on her toes to peck his cheek, he nodded once, seemingly snapping back to her, he nodded curtly, before turning to face Frank and Mikey properly, not letting go of her hand, “You taking your bike Kid?” he asked, looking over at the black glossy machine leaning against the house near where the men where sat. Mikey shook his head, “Ray’s gonna take it” she looked at him confused, “Why?” she burst, “Because it’s hot” he whinged, looking up the sky, cloudless as ever, “Jet Star doesn’t mind” he continued before making eye contact with Frank nervously, she raised her brow, “Plus he-” he faked a cough, clearing his throat, “he wants to make a detour” Gerard tensed at her side, “No fuckin-” he started to protest, Frank looked up then, raising a hand in the other mans defence, “he just wants to swing past Christa’s spot” he justified, Poison shifted uncomfortably on his seat, not liking it but knowing he couldn’t in good conscience order Ray not to go, especially after everything, it was her soft voice that broke his train of thought, “tell him to go ahead, I’m guessing he know’s what safe house we’re heading too?” she pressed, “I do” Ray’s deep voice suddenly replied, she hadn’t noticed him appearing along side DD and Pony, who had an arm-full of their bags, she smiled, smug at the sight of Dr D using his chair, he _should_ use it more often, he had another carrier on his lap and even behind his sunglasses she could see him looking sullen, she stifled a laugh as she let go of Gerard’s hand, walking towards Ray, she went in for a hug, he dropped his backpack at her feet and embraced her, “see you at the house” he mumbled, she nodded into his neck, “say hi to her for me” she whispered, he promised her he would, before breaking away and chatting to his brothers, clearly waiting for her to say her goodbyes to the two men now infront of her, “put the bags in the car for them Pony” DD commanded, his tone kind despite his authoritative nature, the younger man nodded and did as instructed, taking the one from his lap, and throwing Jet Star’s over his shoulder as he walked to the transam a few feet from them, Gerard threw him the keys and walked over to join him, laughing and joking as he did, she crouched down so Dr D wouldn’t be tempted to stand, he kept his ray bands on, covering his eyes, she squinted, trying to see past them and failing somewhat, “I’ll come see you soon” she assured him, “We’ll do a few circuits-” she explained, he cut her off, gruffly, “-You’ll lay low, that’s what you’ll do” he half commanded, she grinned, lightening the mood, “The boys wont be letting me get into any trouble” he shook his head, frustrated, “I’m being serious girl” he growled, reaching out and grabbing her wrist, “You _will_ _not_ make me live through that again” his voice quietened, she felt a pang of guilt twist in her gut like a knife, she straightened up, “I didn’t do it on purpose” she reasoned, “and you _will not_ put Show Pony, or the boys on the receiving end of your temper again” she looked at him seriously, he looked almost ashamed, she was sure his cheeks blushed red under his beard, he nodded once, “I was harsh” he admitted, “but only because I” he stopped, looking at her properly now, she could feel his eyes on her through the lenses, “I care” he finished, she leaned in and kissed his cheek, “I love you too” she assured him, “no more drinking” she instructed him, it came out harsher than she’d meant it too, but he blinked at her and nodded once, releasing her embrace, “let me know you get there safe” he requested quietly as she straightened herself out, “I will do, see you soon” he nodded, turning his chair and wheeling himself back inside. She looked around again, seeing all the men now huddled around the car, except Ray who’d set off amidst her conversation with Dr Death, she walked over to them slowly, enjoying the slight breeze and sun on her face, it was pleasant, if a little too warm. As she closed the distance between herself and the car the smell of gasoline became more prominent, she saw Pony holding the can of fuel, at his waist, as she came to a halt the other men including Gerard took their places inside the vehicle, they left the front passenger seat open for her, with Poison driving it wasn’t a surprise, she smiled at Pony as he dropped the red canister he was holding and grabbed her for a hug, her rib ached lightly but she didn’t groan, she held his t-shirt in her hands and enjoyed breathing him in, “I’ll miss you” he stated, as he did every time they parted, she chuckled, still not releasing him, “I’ll miss you too” she promised, she sighed, finally allowing him to let her go, “I’ll see you around” she said, her eyes stinging with tears, it never got easier, leaving, he must have sensed it because he laughed then, ruffling her hair as he often did, “go have fun” he instructed, “and be safe” he added as an after thought as he took the chance to leave without embarrassing himself, usually leaving felt less harsh because they weren’t going far, and they hadn’t just spent almost 3 weeks together as a _family,_ a large, hectic, dysfunctional family, but still, a family none the less. She wiped her eyes on her sleeves, before opening the door and carefully folding herself onto the seat, feeling the bandages constrict her uncomfortably in the upright position, another week, she told herself, a month was an appropriate time to try and set it, not much longer until she could take them off for good. She sighed as they pulled away from the house, driving steadily, after a slight moment of silence Frank groaned and requested the radio on, “DD probably wont be doing the playlist” Mikey reminded him, she shook her head, pushing the on button, ignoring the unpleasant static as she turned the tuning dial, “he will be” she assured them, he always stuck to his routines, she smiled as music started to play, “see” Frank retorted smugly at Mikey, the blonde shrugged, unbothered behind his sunglasses but she could see a grin on his face, she returned it in the rear view mirror, exhaling happily as Gerard rolled down her window for her, this was _nice,_ she thought, turning to face the outside world. After a few hours of travelling she dropped her hand to the gear stick resting her palm overtop of Poison’s hand, she caught his eye and saw him smiling at her, genuinely happy, so she closed her own, shifting to try and get comfortable enough to sleep, although she was able to move freely and was feeling near enough normal it was like her body sapped energy, and god only knew how long it’d take them to actually arrive at whatever safehouse they where aiming for, she was busy trying to adjust her shoulders so she could sit sidewards with Gerard slowed the car to a crawl, she looked at him suspiciously, however all he did was undo his safety belt, undo his leather jacket, shrug it off his shoulders and pass it too her, she took it uncertainly, he laughed quietly, “use it as a pillow” he suggested kindly, she nodded, balling it up against her neck and the car door, she hummed content as he started driving again, she fell asleep to the sound of either, or both Kobra and Frank snoring behind her, and some retro rock song on the radio.


	9. Chapter 9

“Let me take over bro” Mikey insisted, waking her from the sleep she’d remained in for what must’ve been hours, she blinked a little and then shivered, not realising the air had cooled during her rest and her window had remained open, the sky was dark now, stars mottling it nicely, a pale purple hue reflecting on the orange sand, “shit” Gerard murmured, pushing the button to close her window, she chuckled, yawning, “Mornin” Frank teased, she smiled, sitting herself up, she stroked Poison’s arm, it was almost paper white in the moonlight, it felt ice cold under her fingers, she shook her head and past him his jacket back, “you should’ve woken me” she half scolded as he took it from her, one hand still on the wheel. He shook his head, his red hair shaking out infront of his eyes, he was still smiling kindly, she looked in the mirror at Mikey who looked vaguely concerned, “Gee” he resumed, “Let me take over” he sounded firmer this time, Gerard sighed, but didn’t answer, and he kept driving, “Me and Frank can switch too” she offered, “he can have some time upfront- and you can sleep” he looked at her then, his eyes shining and bloodshot, they must’ve been driving for hours. “Do you know where we’re heading?” he asked after another pause, slowing the car this time, Mikey nodded, “Sure, it’s the safe house on Green Bay” the car came to a stop then, he nodded, “We shouldn’t be more than 3 hours out” he told his brother as they all exited the car, Frank came to her and helped her to stand, which she was grateful for, her rib throbbed unhappily as she stretched, still more tired than she should have been after what must have been 5 hours sleep. Gerard put his jacket in on as he thanked his brother quietly, she took her new place in the back seat of the car, it was warmer in there she noted greatfully, it was _cold_ now. Frank sat shot gun and started fiddling with the radio again, pushing a CD into the drive when he relented to the fact that both Pony and DD must’ve been asleep, as they should be at 1am. A few minutes later Poison appeared next to her, shuffling in, bringing more of the bitter night air with him, she hadn’t done her belt up and truthfully she had no intention of doing so, they weren’t on a road and any other cars would either be killjoys keeping to their own or a better living van that they’d have to fight anyway, luckily, with Gerard’s new over cautious attitude they where so far out they were very unlikely to come across anyone, friend or foe, taking the long way round was an unnecessary measure, especially so late, but it’d obviously calmed his nerves a little because he smiled genuinely at her throwing the old fleece blanket they kept in the trunk over her and shifting so he was sidewards in the transam, facing her, she mirrored him, moving up so she was sat in his lap, allowing him to lay his legs out across the back seats and curling up into his chest, she bit her lip as her ribcage creaked, adjusting to the movement, he wrapped his arms around her protectively as Mikey began to drive away, chatting loudly with Frank and trying to radio Ray to make sure he was ok, she inhaled deeply, relaxing into his embraced, his knees where slightly bent and she was completely curled up, both under the covers now, “sleep” she purred warmly after a few minutes when she saw Poison was still tense under her touch, he looked down at her, his eyes looked sore she noticed, she pecked a kiss on his chest, the leather of his jacket warm now, “I’m ok” he replied calmly, she pulled herself up to his neck, looking to see that Frank and Mikey were still absorbed in their own conversation, “you are” she agreed as he moved to support her, he looked unhappy at the way she shifted herself, “but you need to sleep” she murmured into his neck, her breath warm and swirling on his neck, he felt his pulse race, she was _perfect_ , he adjusted his legs quickly, scolding himself for the way his body was reacting, she was still in pain he reminded himself, it was his fault, he continued, but she kissed his neck, once quickly and then once lingering a little more, the heat of her mouth caused his whole body to relax, his eyes burned with exhaustion, but he had to protect her, what if a B/L patrol found them, what if a random transporter found them and he was asleep, he was too slow to react he couldn’t- “We’re safe” she soothed him quietly, he was blinking back tears and he hadn’t even realised, she was still buried in the crook of his neck, cooing into his ear, “You wont be any use to us if you don’t sleep soon” she insisted, kissing him gently again, he shivered, a reaction to the contact, she laughed silently, letting out warm air onto his skin again, her hand dropping to his upper thigh, his swallowed an audible whine, they hadn’t ever done _that,_ both too stubborn to admit they wanted the other, she seemed to understand as she gave him a playful squeeze, “and we definitely can’t do anything unless you rest up” she muttered happily, “I’m fine” she assured him, he was blushing now, “what if-” he began to protest lamely, knowing he had to sleep eventually, “then wether you sleep or not will make no difference” she cut him off, “you really think you’ll be any use in a fight now?” she joked quietly, resting her head on his shoulder now, her own eyes closing, he hummed, not being able to contradict her, “I don’t want to sleep” he whispered, sounding like a child now, his excuses becoming lamer, she chuckled again, putting her hand up under his jacket, stroking his belly, he wasn’t sure why she’d started doing that since she’d come back but he knew he needed it now, he bit back a gentle moan as he relented, closing his eyes, he saw her image on the screens, screaming, he opened them again, panicked, “shush” she hushed him his eyes darted to his brother in the front seat, they hadn’t noticed, she was so subtle as she put more pressure on his skin, he was less subtle as he increased his hold on her, “I-I cant” he whispered, she shook her head, her own eyes still closed, “I’m here” she said, emphasising her hand movements on his stomach as she spoke, “I’m here” she reaffirmed, continuing to stroke him, he nodded softly, “and we’ll be there soon” she continued as he let his eyes fluttered shut, he gripped her hoodie a reflex to the image that seamed to be burned into the inside of his eyelids, she noticed, “and when we’re there” she breathed, “we’ll see what we can do about your head” he nodded once more, his eyes still shut, focusing on the feeling of her hands reminding him she was safe, she pressed one more kiss to his throat before breathing deeply and drifting off herself, her hand still up on his torso.

 

“Here” Kid announced proudly, the car stopping. She’d woken up about an hour ago, pleased to see Gerard still asleep, even if he did seem a little restless. She sat up, then, her movement woke the men beneath her, he startled, staring at her, his mouth slightly parted, she pushed his hair back from his eyes, the other two men had already started unloading the trunk, luging bags to the small doorway, she noticed Mikey’s motorbike propped up against the small wooden entrance, it looked like a shed, no more than 2 metres by 4, but she knew that it’d have a latch in the floor and a stair case, “We’ll radio DD, let him know we’re here!” Frank yelled over his shoulder, “Come on” she prompted, he was just blinking at her, obviously a little dazed from the 2 hours he’d been asleep. “Let’s help the guys”, he nodded once, and they headed out, it was really cold now, the desert was weird that day, in the day it got so hot that the bonnet of their car could steam, but as soon as the sun set the temperature plummeted, it went from a dusky kind of chill in the air to the kind of cold that could have your tears freezing on your face if you were stupid enough to be out in it long enough to cry. She circled round and went to pick up the last big bag but Poison grabbed it from her hands, looking at her unhappily, “no chance” he said, “I want to help” she was starting to shiver and wished that her own leather jacket wasn’t packed away in one of the bags they were fighting over, he relaxed his face, shaking his head and passing her a small carrier bag, rendering the car empty, she sighed but took it, letting him slam the door shut and beginning to walk a little too quickly for her healing rib, to the entrance, she found it unlocked, and pushed it open, waiting inside for Gerard, when he joined her they sealed themselves in and looked over the open man hole cover, seeing it lit from bellow he shouted for his brother, Mikey arrived and took the large bag from Poison, smiling, she assumed it must be warm down there because he’d stripped off to his t-shirt, and Ray had clearly arrived before them,she gestured for the man to go down the stairs as she turned to the door, sealing the padlock, when she’d secured it, she turned back round and found Party Poison looking up at her expectantly she giggled but passed the bag down to him, he took it but continued to stay poised at the bottom, she shook her head smiling as she made her way carefully down the stone steps, he grabbed her hand as soon as he could reach, she shook her head but allowed him to lead her into the space, there was a small kitchenette where Mikey and Frank where stood chatting, they’d already unpacked a camping stove and had set it up on the janky wooden counter, Mikey had already set the kettle on top and had clearly dipped into his instant coffee supply as both men where clutching steaming polistrine cups, they turned and beamed at her, she returned there expression as her eyes continued around the room, there was a couch, and a bean bag on the wooden floor, a big blue rug covered the majority of the area, she saw a wall with two doors, she could hear the shower going behind one, so she assumed that’s where Ray was, she was about to ask what was behind the other door but Mikey spoke, “There’s one bed room” he told them, pointing to the door in question, “Jetstar set it up for the two of you” she shook her head, “You guys should take it” she argued, “I’ll be fine on the couch” Gerard shook his head, “Thank you guys” he finished, kissing her head, Frank laughed, “Do you really think Gee would let us put you anywhere else?” he half mocked, she blushed, averting her eyes she noticed another door, this one against the wall that stood too the left, “what’s that?” she asked nodding in it’s direction, “The escape door” Gerard answered for her, already leading her to the bed room, “If there’s any trouble, we cant go out the top, thats a door that has a tunnel to a hatch about a mile south” Mikey and Frank where back chatting, clearly already aware, “thats why you drove so far for this one, even though it didn’t have the beds” she realised, matter of factly, he nodded, his hand on his gun, “It has enough space” Frank chimed in, justifying it, “it’s better than how cramped DD’s has been” he added, Gerard smiled at him and his brother, grateful as ever, before fully taking her into the bedroom and closing the door behind them, the room was small and the air smelt old, there where vents on all of the walls that lead up to the surface, recycling the air, these had all been old bomb shelters she remembered, off the grid hideaways disguised as service hatches, thats why most still had electricity, Gerard flipped a switch and a dark orange light filled the room, it was dim but made it so she could see the surroundings clearly, there was a double mattress on the floor, sheets already laid out with the pillows, and both her bag and Poison’s where on the ground next to it, her leather jacket was hung on a single hook that was attached to the wall, Gerard smiled at her finally releasing her hand and going to hand his own up over top of hers, she took the opportunity to take off her hoodie and slide her boots and jeans off so she was just in her underwear, vest and her bra, she reached round to unhook the latter but she felt Gerard’s familiar fingers replace hers, he undid the latch so she wouldn’t have too twist too much, she exhaled happily as he placed a kiss on her shoulder, she turned then, her hands clutching onto the t-shirt he was wearing, he looked surprised as she kissed his mouth next, he held her waist as she laughed sweetly, she examined his face then, her hands over his eyes tangled in the soft red strands, his eyes where still surrounded by a deep halo of navy, and veined by bright red blotches,she shook her head gently, he blinked at her, there bodies touching now, “You’re not well” she murmured, he didn’t refute her, just used his hands to lift her vest, stroking her bandages, she huffed out a laugh as he resumed his previous position and dropped his eyes back to hers, “You need a full nights sleep” she told him firmly, he bit his lower lip, and his eyes suddenly filled up, she shook her head, dropping one of her hands to his mouth, his tongue flicked out and he stopped trying to chew through the skin and focused instead on sucking her fingers, she sighed content, “Bed” she soothed, pulling her hand away, dropping it to the base of his throat, she felt him swallow nervously. She walked towards the bed then, leading him with her, this time she settled herself first before looking at him expectantly, he exhaled and lay down next to her, shifting so their bodies where tangled under the covers, he began to start shaking she held his hand, however altered her approach and gripped his face firmly as he began to sob, “tell me” she pressed, “what’s the matter?” he tried to steady his breathing, the power nap he’d had in the car seemed to have worsened how tired he felt, he’d been running on pure adrenaline, now his body was craving more rest, he was having a much harder time reigning himself back in, especially now he was alone with her, in a bed, “I-I-Ikeep-I” he stammered, she hushed him, “breath” she commanded now, noticing how he was practically panting, “deeper” she insisted as his breathes where still shallow, he tried to obey, he really did but his head was spinning, she pressed on his ribs gently, “or we’ll have to wrap your ribs too” she teased, he blinked at her confused but listening, he took a few deep breathes, enjoying her touch, “Now go on” she pressed, “What’s wrong? Why can’t you sleep? Even in the car you where twitching” she added with a hint of laughter, he took another shaky breath “I-I-I” he cried again, “I-seeyou” he explained, “On-the-the” he burst into more hysterics, she stopped him them, her hand going up to his mouth, placing her fingers over his trembling lips, “I’mherenow” she whispered, “I’m not going anywhere” she promised, he nodded, trying to believe her, but he couldn’t stop himself from weeping openly, clutching her, “Gee” she said loudly enough for him to hear her over his own crying, his eyes snapped to hers, “You need to sleep, you know you do” she reasoned, “How can I help you?” she asked when he didn’t respond, other than trying to swallow his own cries, he didn’t want to be this way, she knew that too, this wasn’t like him, that’s how she knew that he really needed _something,_ it was what he needed she couldn’t quite figure out, “I-I-dontknow” he sounded frantic, his breathing jagged again, “Baby” she muttered, “slow breathes” she told him, he nodded, trying, she pressed his lips against his then, an instinct to seeing the man she loved in such a state, he returned her kiss as best he could, but he held on, keeping the contact firm, she swallowed his cries and felt him inhaling through his nose, she broke apart from him, keeping their brows pressed together, he was hot, and his face was almost as red as his hair, and it was wet from his tears, “What do you need?” she purred, he looked at her, fresh tears spilling over his eyes, “you” he whispered in reply, she smiled, “I’m here” she reminded him, “Ijust _see_ it” he hissed, his eyes locked on hers, “I know” she assured him, “I know you cant help it” he shook his head, agreeing with her, “dontknowwhy” he swallowed, sobbing again, “do you want to ask me anything?” she offered calmly, he thought on that, as much as his mind would allow, he was still shaking, his body hurt from the effort of being awake, his eyes burned but he couldn’t close them, “shush” she cooed again, he was wailing now, his control really lapsing, she covered his mouth with hers again, he was grateful, desperately grateful, he was worrying the others might hear him, he stroked her skin, pinching her hips, his eyes glazed over he saw _Korse’s_ hands on her, he shivered, swallowing bile, “didhe-didkorse?” he forced out as best he could, she questioned him with her eyes, “did he what?” she asked calmly, genuinely not minding answering any questions, especially if it would help at all, “d-dd-didhe?” he dropped his eyes to her lower body, not being able to say the words without throwing up, he was tensing and shaking and trying to hold himself together, she stroked his hair kindly, “You mean, did he fuck me?” she clarified, the same tone, indifferent and relaxed, his eyes shot up to hers as he grabbed her again, “No” she assured him, “None of them did any of that” she promised, “that one that I told you about tried his luck” she allowed, “but he wasn’t meant to” her voice went a little lower, he looked at her wide eyed and stillsobbing, almost choking on breaths, she sighed, “Korse forbid it” she told him, “If you didn’t come for me, he would have wanted to sell me” she explained, “and people are more valuable if they haven’t been, you know” she shrugged down again, kissing his lips, “so I was ok” she insisted, “and I’m ok now” she reminded him, he exhaled loudly, “but none of that matters” she continued, “if you don’t rest, and eat, eventually you’re going to pass out” she soothed, he looked at her, chewing his bottom lip again, “and you wont be able to control when” she carried on, stroking his cheeks now, “and then who’s are best shot?” she added a tint of humour on the end of her last sentence, he knew that was for his benefit, he felt a twang of guilt at that, he knew it was true, he needed to sleep, he wanted to not feel like this, he heard himself sob again, his throat was _raw_ it hurt now, it hurt a lot but he couldn’t help feel a warm sense of relief at her confirmation, knowing that she hadn’t suffered that made him feel a tiny bit less guilty, she shook her head again, rubbing their noses together, “close your eyes” she instructed, he obeyed, tensing his muscles again, trying to focus on the burning in both his eyes and throat, instead of his mental image of her, she pinched his arm, just enough for it to send a spark of pain through his body, “safe” she affirmed, “thankyou” he inhaled, genuinely grateful, that had worked to distract him long enough for his mind to drift to other things, like how she always knew what to do to help him,he also felt a familiar warmth spread through his lower body, she pecked him again, “good” she murmured as his eyes stayed closed, she let out a slow breath that melted against his neck, he shivered, this time from the comfort, the genuine feeling of safety and _heat_ that spread through his body from her touch, “sleep” she repeated, he nodded, his hips bucking slightly as her lips vibrated against his skin again, she laughed then, her hands dropping down one resting on his chest, the other dropping to his crotch, she felt the swell, and giggled softly, kissing his mouth again, “rest up Party Poison” she yawned, tracing a line on his breifs, he was hard, she could feel _him,_ his body reacting to her, “try” he promised, his whole head felt full, full and blurry, she removed her hand, placing it gently on his stomach, “you’ll do more than try” she instructed calmly, “You’re exhausted” she muttered, “I’m not going to wake you tomorrow” she warned him, “You need to properly rest” she clarified, his breathing suddenly quickened, she pinched him softly again, bringing him back to her, “I’ll stay, I’ll be here whenever you do wake up” she promised, assuming that’s what had panicked him, “thankyou” he replied, he meant it “foreverything” he added, she began stroking his skin, figuring it had worked in the car, so why not now, “we need you” she reminded him, “I need you” she adjusted, he hummed somewhat happily, so she closed her own eyes, settling against him.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kinky Porn with a plot here.
> 
> LOL

Gerard stirred quietly against her a few times during the night but not enough to really wake her, she found herself curled protectively him, humming occasionally to comfort him, she opened her eyes now, hearing rustling outside the room they where sharing, although, she was still unhappy about that, it was bad enough them holding up in here so no others could use it, but surely Gerard would compromise to rotating the bedroom, although she did enjoy the privacy, “Motor?” there was a sudden knock on the the door, luckily it wasn’t loud enough to wake Poison, “Come in” she raised her voice an octave, watching to ensure he didn’t wake next to her, Frank stuck his head into the room, he saw the both of them still in bed, and his best friend still asleep at her side and his face filled with understanding, he nodded before whispering, “we’re gonna run for some more food?” she eyed him up, “We?” she asked, matching his volume, “Mikey want’s to come and Ray is gonna go scouting” she smiled, loving how they still came to them for approval, “didn’t we take enough from DD?” she reasoned, knowing Gerard would want to know why they’d gone on their excursion, Frank pursed his lips running his fingers through his hair, “Not _proper_ food” he whined, “Power Pup and Protein Packs but if we’re staying around we may as well look a supply run, soap, actually soup, we might even meet some folk-” she understood, she didn’t particularly want to live off rations for however long Gerard intended on keeping them hidden down here, “go” she instructed softly, his expression seemed almost proud at her approval, he nodded at Poison, “is he alright?” he pressed, she chuckled silently, grinning, “he needs to sleep, I’m not going to wake him” he nodded once more “we’ll take our radio, Gee’s got yours somewhere” he noted, before ducking out of the room and closing the door. She settled back down then, her brown hair cascading down onto the sheets behind and beside her, she admired the features of Party Poison as he slept beside her, his face relaxed, the rest had eased the dark rings below his eyes but he still looked a little too pale, even in the now fluorescent lighting, she dammed the timer it was on when it had flickered on signally daytime, she’d investigate if it could be turned off later, but she knew she had to keep her promise and be there whenever he did wake up. She exhaled quietly and rolled herself into his chest, inhaling him and trying to push herself back into some kind of sleep, it was difficult with the buzzing of the extractor fans and the brightness of the lighting but she managed, drifting off until she felt Gerard begin to shift an hour or two later, “Mornin’ sugar” he murmured, his voice thick with sleep, his eyes shining, she kissed his skin, “Probably afternoon” she teased, sitting up a little, her rib only protested a little now. He looked at her, his eyes wide and unreadable, but he seemed in a better state, she leaned in and kissed his mouth, hot and wet and slow, he moaned, reaching round and holding her, lifting his body so he was holding himself above her, being very careful to not lower himself onto her body, she broke away, reaching up and stroking his cheeks, “you look better” she affirmed, he blushed under her touch as he tried to nuzzle at her hand, “thank you” he purred, she shook her head, breathing slowly, “do you feel better?” she probed, curious, he looked down, considering before he replied, “ _maybe_ , I mean, for _now_ I do” he was being honest, she could tell, “The others left this morning” she remembered suddenly, knowing that he needed to know, he looked panicked so she moved her hand over his lips affectionately, “ _just_ a food run, we only got power pup and staples from DD’s, and Ray’s taken the bike to do a security run, we’ve got a radio and so does Kid” he relaxed under her touch, “they shouldn’t be too much longer” she assured him, he raised an eyebrow before groaning and shaking her hand off his face and leaning down to kiss her, again, this time he was more forceful, almost _desperate_ to feel her,she broke away laughing, pushing him up on his chest, playfully rolling him back onto his side, “shower” she instructed firmly, he shook his head, stroking her hair now, tangling his fingers in the soft waves, she laughed again, “not you” she corrected, “I need to shower, I’m going to _try_ some time without the wrapping” he looked immediately concerned, he didn’t want her to try anything that could make her any more uncomfortable than she was already bound to be, he could hardly stomach the thought of not holding her for time it would take her to shower, “I can come?” he offered lamely, lessening the grip on her harm, scared to leave another bruise, she shook her head, “wait here” she told him, he could feel his face drop, his eyes must’ve been begging her to reconsider but she placed a soft kiss on his shoulder before turning and slowly leaving the room. He didn’t move as he heard the water click on, just stared at the ceiling, looking at the gaps between the horrific lights, he considered trying to go back to sleep, yearning for a respite from the hollow feeling in his chest that hard reappeared since she’d left the room, he cursed himself, angry at how _pathetic_ he was being, he knew he was being ridiculous, she was safe, and he wasn’t going to let anything happen to her again, he was furious that he couldn’t feel concern for his brothers, the fear he had for them out on the road was buried deep in his brain, the unjustified stress about not being physically close to a girl in the next room over was at the forefront, he shook his head and pressed his palms against his eyes and considered his feelings, he felt hungry, only slightly and the feeling of dread he got when thinking about getting food for himself rather than the others was something else he didn’t have time to dwell on, his body felt heavy and warm but more rested than he could remember, he remembered her breath circling his neck in the car and he felt a twinge in his lower stomach, he shifted his legs as he felt his member twitch in response to the memory, he felt sick then, angry again, now that he could be so _selfish,_ he added that to the list of descriptors he was using about himself in his inner monologue, selfish, hungry and pathetic, he felt his heart start to race, luckily he was distracted by the water clicking off, he strained his ears listening for a hint of activity but he heard nothing, she was busy drying her body with a towel that had been left on the back of the door, probably by Ray, her long hair was wet and hanging down past her breasts, she replaced the fabric and stretched, testing a deep breath in now the bandage was off, it felt a little less stable and slightly more uncomfortable, but not unbearable, she used her hand to wipe a circle of steam away from the large mirror that had been mounted on the wall opposite the shower, she looked at herself then, her skin was back to normal, aside from the one yellow-blue bruise that still hugged her ribcage on the side where she had been injured, she gently touched it, feeling for the rib in question, once she’d identified it, she pressed gently, it felt a little more elastic, a sign it was healing, but it was more of an ache now, than the aggressive throbbing burn it had been, and it wasn’t bulging, which was a good sign it had been set properly, she’d have to praise Funghoul when he returned she thought, there was a knock then, the second time she’d been caught off guard, “Gee?” she queried, she heard nervous laughter before the door crept open, she made no effort to cover herself knowing who it was, she greeted him smiling, he looked shocked, and blushed the same shade as his hair as he stared at her, “ _I told you,_ to wait in bed” she scolded, a joking tone in her voice, he looked up then, meeting her eyes, “I-I-Yeah” he surrendered, she reached out taking his hand, “I better show you where that is” she teased leading him out into the space, he followed her, jaw agape, hand in hers, drinking in the sight of her, naked and glistening, he was mentally chastising himself of course but he could barely form a single thought, the door to the bedroom shut behind him, snapping him out of his attempt at self torment, she laughed, the musical sound shocked him, he looked up at her, she was pointing to the mattress on the group, smirking expectantly, he tilted his head to the side unsure, “bed” she insisted, he chuckled nervously but did as he was told, again trying to ignore the rush of blood to his groin as he lay on the sheets staring up at her, he was panting now, “You’re still worried about me?” she asked, although it was more of a statement, he nodded, chewing his bottom lip now, his hands gripping the sheets, she shook her head, her wet hair shifting leaving trails of fresh water on her chest, dripping down to her navel, he released he was panting, and felt his face flush even hotter than before, her eyes met his then, she lowered herself to his level crawling up onto him, her body above his, she shouldered his knees, he opened them without even an attempt at resistance, “I’m _fine_ ” she stressed, gripping his boxers in one hand, his shirt in the other, “Off” she commanded quietly, letting go of his top, he blinked, but did as she’d said, exposing his upper body, she smiled then, leaning down so her breasts brushed his skin, he hissed in breaths, trying not to grab her body, grabbing the fabric he was on instead, that seemed to amuse her as she continued pecking kisses on his body, “you want to?” she asked a whisper against his throat, he swallowed, “ _hurt you_ ” he shivered, she shook her head, “you won’t” she promised him, taking one of his hands in hers, and placing it on her breast, he moaned loudly, staring at her, “You might have to be quieter than that” she joked, “we don’t know when they’re due back” she reminded him, he smirked then, his eyes playful, “you could gag me” he suggested, she laughed, the tone low and throaty, dropping her hand away from his and lowering it to his pants, she found his dick throbbing and hot and _wet_ straining against the material, “is that what you want?” she purred, “to be gagged and bound for me?” his hips bucked, he didn’t answer but his head lolled back as she rubbed him through his clothing, she reached up then, holding his cheeks, “I asked you a question” she murmured, affectionate but stern, he grinned at her, wide and drowsy, she could tell his head was spinning, he “yes ma’am” he muttered in response, “we don’t really have time for all that right now” she whispered, her mouth basically on his again, “give me your hands” she requested, he obeyed instantly, she placed then gently on her waist, she reached down for his top and twisted it until it was a thick, soft rope that she pressed against his mouth, he opened it wide and buried his teeth into it happily, “You’re not going to hurt me” she reminded him as his fingers dug into her flesh a little harder, “I’ll tell you if you do” she promised, a little more seriously, before she slipped her hands into his pants and freed his growth, he moaned loudly into the make shift gag, she laughed again, humming content as she jerked him lazily, enjoying how his hips strained against her and how his eyes rolled back in his head as she did, she continued for a few minutes until he was sweating, and writhing under her, that’s when she raised herself up and lowered herself back down onto him, he yelled then, _loud,_ the gag had been a good idea she thought happily as she groaned herself, loving this. 

 

Once they where done she’d lowered herself off, and rolled onto her side, she’d pulled his t-shirt from between his teeth and chuckled, stroking his face and chest as his fingers traced patterns on her hip, “that was _amazing_ ” he whispered, she nodded, “you’re loud” she noted, he hummed as he often did, “the gag was a good call” she allowed, his cheeks burned, he laughed quietly before he whispered “I like it”, she looked at him more closely before answering, “so do I” she agreed, he looked relieved at that, “anything else you _like_?” she asked then, curious, “for when we have more time?” he mocked, flicking her nose, she nodded though, almost beaming with excitement, “lots of things I guess,” he murmured, “properly being tied up, the gag thing, abit of pain-” she kissed his shoulder blade, stopping noticing how he was starting to get flustered, “you” he decided, his voice gruff, she turned into his embrace, he exhaled happily wrapping his arms around her fully, touching the bruising of her ribcage gently, “did I?” he pressed, “hurt you?” she shook her head, “no” she swore, “I’m alright” he nodded, kissing her hair, he seemed to believe her as he settled, breathing slowly, “the boy’s should be back soon” she realised suddenly, wondering where they were. He blinked at her, like he’d forgotten all about them, guilt flashed across his features telling her she was right, his breath hitched in his throat so she sat up “Go get my clothes?-” she requested to distract him, “-and the bandages from the bathroom, I better strap back up, I’ll radio and see if they answer” he nodded and made some comments about wether or not she should have taken the wrapping off at all, but did as she asked, she stood slowly, stretching like a cat, enjoying not having the restriction, she remembered teasing Gerard about needing to do his for his breathing, a giggle burst up through her mouth when she realised he’d probably quite like it, he appeared then, holding a bundle of clothes to his chest and questioning her with his eyes, she shook her head, radio now in hand, before he began to loop the bandage round her ribs as he had done before. “Get dressed” she teased once he was done binding her, pecking at his collar bone, he looked down at himself, remembering he was just in his now filthy boxers, he smiled shyly before rummaging around for his jeans and a clean shirt, she was listening to static, her fingers strummed her own thigh when he appeared, pushing her own jeans at her, she passed him the handset and stepped into them carefully, “can I have my top?” she asked, looking around, he shook his head, running his hands up her back, he’d clipped the radio onto his belt, “ _I don’t think so_ , I like you better without it” he joked, she turned to face him, shaking her now nearly dry hair out covering her breasts, she leaned forwards pressing her naked torso against him, before leaning in, “ _I’ll get you back_ ” she warned him, still smirking, he groaned at the base of his throat, “promises, promises” he murmured, he went in to kiss her but she stepped out of the way, reaching into her bag and grabbing a fresh top, she grabbed a sports bra, pulled it down over her head before slipping into the t-shirt, feeling clean was nice she thought, when she turned back around Gerard was fussing angrily with the radio, tapping it on his palm, she reached out, taking it out from his grasp, “ _fuckin’ thing_ ” he hissed, she pushed a button or two and twisted the dial full circle, the way DD had showed her to reset the device, after a few seconds the light turned green and static restarted, before Mikey suddenly answered, “Hi Kid” she said smugly, “How’d you?-” Poison burst out, she waved her hand at him, grinning, “where are you?” she asked, ignoring the man flapping at her side, “nearly back, picked up Ray, no sign of any B/L cars” he recited, “all clear” she smiled at Poison, who seamed slightly reassured, “what took you so long?” she asked, hearing Frank laughing loudly in the back seat, Mikey turned the music down a little, “We um” he coughed awkwardly “got back about 40 minutes ago” Gerard froze, staring at her wide eyed, she bit back hysterics, “You where a little busy” he continued, “Fuckin!” Frank yelled from the back seat, before loud laughter erupted causing the small object to crackle in her hand, Gerard couldn’t stop a grin from spreading across his face, “that’s enough” he scolded, taking the radio, “head back, we’re hungry” Frank’s voice was loud and happy as he spoke, “yeah, physical activity builds up quite the appa-” Poison turned off the device before the younger man could finish his jibe, “guess the gag didn’t _quite_ cut it” she mocked, stroking his cheek, “It might have been you they heard” he suggested kissing her hand and taking her waist, pulling her closer, she shook her head, “definitely you” her voice was low and throaty, he snorted, she tangled her fingers in his hair, pulling slightly, “I’ll pay for that one too wont I?” he asked, his voice low, she nodded one, dragging him in for a kiss, “good” he challenged as they broke apart, she chuckled quietly, “where’s my gun?” she looked at him expectantly, “you wont need it” he replied trying to dismiss her question as he remade the sheets on the mattress, “you wont be needing yours down here either, but that doesn’t mean I’ve confiscated it” she retorted, he looked up, sighing at her, but relented, “ _somewhere_ in the bag by the door” he nodded over to his left, she nodded, digging through the clothes until she found it, she took the turquoise metal object and checked its power, grateful he hadn’t tried to drain it, “I didn’t disarm it” he laughed, appearing over her shoulder, “I just didn’t think you’d be needing it” he offered, she turned to face him, “You can’t stop me from fighting forever” she reminded him, he looked away, kissed the top of her head before whispering “I can try” she shook her head, strapping her gun to her belt, “I love you too” she reminded him, “you think I like the idea of you fighting?” she pressed, he sighed, stroking her cheek, “You think I like the idea of any of us fighting?” she continued when he ignored her, he shook his head, “it’s different-” he tried to retort, she pressed a finger against his mouth, “It is _not_ different” he didn’t try and argue, “It’s life, like it or not, I can take care of myself” he examined her with his eyes, drinking in her face, he knew she was right, he couldn’t keep her underground forever, and he couldn’t let her run around unarmed, “ and _I am_ pretty good shot” she joked, dropping her hand, “I’m sorry” he allowed, “I’m just-” he started, she shook her head again, “I know” she promised, “I’m not going _anywhere_ ” he nodded, a little happier, before he heard the door clash upstairs.


	11. Chapter 11

It was only during dinner that she next had reason to stare at Gerard a little longer than normal, he’d insisted on warming up the food whilst Frank and Mikey got showered and changed, when he’d brought everyone’s portions she’d noticed he hadn’t got anything for himself, she didn’t want to embarrass him, so she bit her tongue and ate her miniature pizza without complaint. She couldn’t stop thinking of how grateful she was to the others, they’d really dealt with a lot, probably from the moment she’d been taken, what she’d seen from when she’d been back had been enough. “is there a town nearby?” she asked,the men looked up from there plates, aside from Party Poison who was stirring his tiny plastic cup of coffee and watching from the kitchenette, “Nah” Mikey answered, still chewing his food, “But there are plenty of Killjoy camps up to the west” Frank nodded eagerly, “DD said a visit might be good for morale” Frank inserted, “Who’s morale exactly?” Gerard mocked, she looked up scolding, “Now, Now, don’t be like that” he raised an eyebrow at her but shrugged, “maybe in a day or two” he allowed, Ray coughed, “hate to be the person to bring this up” he muttered, “but isn’t there going to be people looking for her?” he shifted uncomfortably as the atmosphere changed, “and me” he added, trying to coax a response, she laughed happily, shaking her head, “I wouldn’t worry about that” she said, “not for a while at least” she put her paper plate down, “He wont want anyone to know he lost us” she explained, Gerard blinked at her, his cup covering the lower half of his face from view, “and, there’s that stuff with his daughter, and he’s rebuilding” she added, “we’re not a priority” Ray nodded smiling, “I’m gonna go radio Pony” she said suddenly, standing, Gerard looked like he wanted to follow her but she avoided eye contact hoping he’d stay with the others, he did, she walked into the bed room, found the radio on the mattress and dialled DD’s code, she heard the radio click on outside, and the static start on the handset, she grinned hearing Kid and Funghoul bickering about the station, eventually she heard Frank whining about not having a guitar anymore and her idea was solidified, “ID CODE AND PASSWORD” Dr Death’s voice suddenly broke through the line, “who’s password? mine or yours?-” she joked, he sighed, recognising her voice, “- _and_ I don’t know my ID code and you’re the one I’d call to ask” she heard Show Pony cracking up on the line, “your password then girl” he muttered, “that I can do” she giggled, “Jazzhands” he groaned something about not taking it seriously but settled eventually, “did Frankie call you when we first got here?” she asked, remembering the promise she made to let him know of her safe arrival, “Yeah, he did, thanks” she relaxed then, sitting on the makeshift bed, “how’re you doing?” she asked, genuinely worried, “I’m good princess” he assured her, “wanna talk to Pony?” he guessed, she chuckled, “How’d you guess?” he laughed then, “You only call me when you want something” he joked, passing the hand set over, “I need a favour” she said before her brother had even said hello, “ofcourse you do” Pony teased, “I’m fine too by the way” he continued his taunting tone, she shook her head, “sorry, I just gotta get back” he shushed her, “go on then Motor Baby” she strummed her fingers on the bedsheet next to her, “can you get me, a guy with guitars, preferably near where we are?” he sighed loudly, “never anything easy is it?” he laughed, “where you at?” he pressed, “the safe house on Green _something_ ” she remembered, he faked a cough, “you mean Green Bay?” she was unsure but it sounded just about right, “sure” she replied, “I mean, I guess so” he huffed out a frustrated breath, “give me till tomorrow night to see what I can do” he offered, “I think you might be in luck” she could hear buttons being clicked and the rustling of papers, she felt a warm joy fill her at the familiarity of it, “thank you Pony, I owe you one” he burst out a laugh, “you owe me about one hundred, but whatever” she grinned even wider, “Speak tomorrow” he murmured a goodnight and she clicked off the dial, pleased with herself that her plan to thank the others might actually work, there was a light knock on the door before Gerard pushed it open,he was blushing slightly, “sorry” he muttered, she shook her head putting the radio back onto her belt and patting the mattress next to her, laying back, her knees bending waiting for him to join, he closed the door, the old rock music and chatter becoming muted as he approached her, “What was that about?” he probed, coming beside her and falling backwards so they where both half folded onto the surface, “A thank you gift” she answered honestly, he didn’t continue to press her, just made a content noise in the base of his throat as he turned his head to stare at her, she returned his gaze, looking at his face, the rings around his eyes where returning, and despite his smile something _still_ looked off, “are you okay?” she asked, not being able to hold it back, he blinked at her, deciding wether or not to tell her the truth, that he couldn’t bring himself to eat because the thought of it made him feel so guilty that he doubted he could stomach it anyway, and he didn’t really know why, and he didn’t really want to admit that no matter how much sleep he seemed to get his eyes burned, and how every time she wasn’t with him he felt physically unable not to worry, he swallowed, not wanting to panic, he hated being in that mind set and hated that when he was that freaked out she was the only one who could make it any better, he hated putting that on her when she was already trying to heal herself. “Stop that” she cooed suddenly, snapping him out it, he wasn’t sure what he was doing, she shook her head, “I can see you being hard on yourself” she pressed, reaching down and holding his hand, he had tensed up a little, he’d never been good at hiding things, especially from her, “I’ll be fine” he replied quietly, “I know” she assured him, “I’m _asking_ if you are okay _now_ ” she clarify, he shrugged, “I don’t know” he replied as honestly as he could, “when you’re here and we’re not doin’ anything else I’m okay” he added, she pursed her lips, unhappy, she rolled onto her side and pressed the back of her hand to his brow, “You’re a little warm” she noted, “you gettin’ sick?” he considered it briefly, wondering if he could be, he didn’t feel great, but it was hard to tell, he shrugged, “when did you last eat?” she pressed, after she’d taken notice of this dinner time she back tracked, she couldn’t remembering him eating in front of her since the toast she’d forced him to have almost a week before. He looked away, shifting on the bed, “we should go back out to the guys” he suggested, changing the topic, this only fuelled her suspicions, as reached out and stroked his hair back, “they wont miss us” she reminded him, the lighting in the room buzzed and flickered back to the deep orange signally nighttime, she blinked, her eyes adjusting to the change, “we should say good night” he insisted, she knew then what he meant, he wasn’t planning on going back out, she nodded, sighing in acceptance as she stood and followed him into the main room, the others were still chatting and eating whatever scraps where around, she let Gerard make the excuse of him being exhausted, which she didn’t disbelieve but she rummaged in the bags by the kitchen and found a pre packaged sandwich, she stuffed it into thepocket of her hoodie, and bid goodnight to the others, “are you sure none of you guys want the bed tonight?” she offered as Poison hovered by the door, they all shook there heads, Frank laughed, “Not now we know what you’ve done on the sheets” he teased, Gerard shook his head and Mikey elbowed him, she felt herself blush but shrugged it off and trailed behind the red haired man into the room. She closed the door and pulled him in for a hug, he’d just been standing and watching, he wrapped his arm around her, “You’re exhausted huh?” she pressed, he let his shoulders fall, “sleepin’s not the easiest for me right now” he admitted, she already knew, “might aswell try get a head start” she kissed him slowly, warm and breathy before breaking apart and stepping out of her jeans and underwear, she realised the shirt she’d put on was the one Pony had leant her before she’d left, she left that on, ran her old brush through her hair and rubbed an old baby wipe over her face before reaching back into her hoodie pocket, grabbing the stollen food and walking over to wear Gerard was already lying back in the bed, she couldn’t see his body but his jeans and own t-shirt where in a heap on the floor by the bed so she assumed he was ready, she dropped the sandwich at the side of the bed, within her reach before joining him, settling in, and letting him adjust to her position, still indulging the impulse to hold her, “you where going to tell me when you last ate” she reminded him after a few minutes of silence, both their bodies relaxing into stillness, a light shiver past over his body, like he was cold, she shook her head affectionately, his eyes met her’s, he looked ashamed, she could see it on his features, he looked like a child about to be scolded, “It’s okay” she assured him, “Just tell me” he chewed his lower lip nervously, “thelast-thelast was the toast-withyou” he mumbled, stumbling over his words, “butimokay-im really, not-hungry-idont-” she cut him off with a kiss, she felt an overwhelming urge to protect him, in that moment, under the dim lights, his eyes shining in the dark and his lower lip pouting he looked so vulnerable she couldn’t help but worry, he swallowed the sobs that where trying to burst up through his throat, she could feel it, she knew he didn’t want to be this fragile, she let him pull away, but kept a hand on his cheek, cupping it, “you need to eat” she chastised, her tone kind, not angry, he looked at her knowing she was right, “Idont” he coughed, “I don’t know why it’s so difficult” he sounded so frustrated with himself, “I’msorry” he whispered, “you don’t need this I’m so sorry” she shushed him again, assuring him he wasn’t doing anything wrong, “you’ve been through a lot” she allowed, he snorted, “me?” he sounded horrified, “this-isntabout-me- it’s you that’s been-” she shook her head one more time, “I’m fine now” she promised once more, “and if it’d been you that had gone, I don’t know how I’d be coping” she noted, he wiped tears from his eyes, “you’d be-behandelling it better thanme” he muttered, still trying very hard to control the way his body wanted to curl up and cry, she sighed, mumbling something about not being so sure, but she reached away from him, bringing the sandwich onto the bed, “ _eat_ ” she instructed, looking at him expectantly, he had no excuses, no reason not too, and he _was_ hungry, when he batted his eye lids at her she smiled, “you liked being told what to do this morning” she teased, reminding him of his earlier submissions, he returned her smirk, only it took more effort for him, but he was indescribably grateful she was trying to lighten the mood, he nodded, but didn’t move, “You’re _mine_ ” she whispered into his ear, her hot breath enforcing her words, a new shiver ran down his spine, he nodded instantly, he had desperately needed that, “ _yours_ ” he agreed quietly, “so I’m going to make sure you’re looking after yourself, or that I’m looking after you” she told him, her voice full of love, she had unwrappedthe sandwich and was holding it out by his hand, “you’re mine” she insisted before kissing his throat, leaving her mouth on the skin of his neck, letting her tongue flick out and tease the sensitive area there, he moaned, unable to hold it in, she chuckled, “Gee” she pressed, “Eat” he nodded trying not to think too much, just pushing the food to his lips, “I’m yours too you know” she added as he forced in a second mouthful, his heart sped up, he’d needed that too, how did she _always_ know, he swallowed, “good” he said, not know anything else to say, she was his, and _he was hers._ When he finished eating his stomach felt unusually full, his body had become accustom to coffee and water as opposed to real food, so it was almost a new sensation, she was staring at him with concern on her face, he hadn’t realised how he was almost panting, the anxiety from the food and eventually having to work out why it was so hard for him mixing with the fear he was feeling now he knew he would have to try and sleep, “Deep breaths” she reminded him, her voice low and quiet, her head resting on his chest, her hands wrapped around his body, he obeyed the best he could, “close your eyes” she instructed next, still sounding patient, loving and calm, he grimaced but did was she said, the same horrific image shot into his mind’s eye, she instantly pinched his hip, the flash of slight pain distracting him long enough for his eyes to stay closed, “thankyou” he whispered, he meant it, she hummed happily, kissing his collarbone again, “willyou” he began to ask, but he stopped himself, embarrassed, “I’m here” she soothed, stroking his hip now, circling the bone, _how did she know_ he thought again, desperately grateful he could avoid the humiliation of begging for affection nightly, “safe” she whispered, “perfect” he added, she breathed out laughter, gripping him tighter, “you’re perfect” she countered, she meant it too, he’d done so well, she knew none of this was easy, but she was going to make it as painless as possible, he didn’t argue, so she took it as a win, and allowed herself to drift off to sleep, still tangled in their embrace.

 

She woke the next morning because the Radio attached to her belt was hissing white noise at her, she rubbed her eyes adjusting to the bright lights once again, she should have turned them off, she made a mental note to get a gas lamp for by the bed so they could avoid this hassle. Gerard stirred beside her so she stood, careful not to disturb him, flicked the light off, rendering the room pitch black, then she turned her attention to the noise, she turned the handset on, “Hello?” she said, her tone quiet but not quite a whisper, “Mornin” Show Pony’s familiar voice greeted her, she shook her head, opening the door and walking out into the main room, she saw the other men fast asleep in their various arrangements so she walked out and sat on one of the cold stone stairs. “Password?” she half teased at last, “yours or mine?” he mocked, they hated this system even if they did somewhat understand it’s purpose, “Yours” she requested, “because I don’t know what it is and I’m curious” she added, he laughed then, so loudly she was glad she’d gone out of the way, “Frenchfries” he answered, she shook her head, “fuck off?” she joined his laughter, “fucking frenchfries?” he trailed off into mild giggles, “just frenchfries” she sighed, “sup? bit early for you? everything ok?” he coughed and she could hear the pressing of buttons, “it’s 8” he replied, “Mornin’ playlist” she hummed, it didn’t feel like 8, she’d have put money on it being between 5 and 6, “I found a guy for you” he told her when she didn’t press, _oh_ she remembered now, “you said tonight” she scoffed, he chuckled again, still distractedly pressing things and twisting dials, “don’t be ungrateful” he scolded, “he’s an old friend of mine, passing through your zone, he can meet you in an hour, if you can get the credits” he explained, she ran a hand through her hair, she could do that, Gerard would sleep right through and so would the others with any luck, “what’s he got?” she pressed, “a couple old acoustic guitars, working order strings and stuff all set up, and he sells motor parts mainly, helmets and shit” she nodded despite him not being able to see her, “how much?” she asked then, thinking of how many credits she had to hand, not too many she guessed, “he’ll take 250 for both” _worth it_ she decided, “done” she agreed, “where does he want to meet?” She heard Pony rustling some papers, “he’s got a camp about 8miles north of you, he’s a solid guy, names Rastler, used to buy wheels from him back when I was a kid” she smiled, she could take Mikey’s bike. “When?” she asked, already standing, “I’ll tell him 1 hour?” he replied, “perfect” she finished, clicking off the machine and walking back into the room, she groaned when she saw all three men standing, at least Poison was still asleep, Mikey’s eyes followed her suspiciously as she approached, she walked past them reentering the bedroom and fumbling in the dark to put her jeans back on, she found her jacket and her gun, strapping it to her calf and grabbing some leather fingerless gloves, she tied her hair up and kissed the unconscious mans brow, he was still soundly asleep, breathing slow and steady, she smiled before closing the door behind her, leaving him in the dark. “What are you doing?” Mikey questioned, his tone almost chastising, “Going on a run” she answered nonchalant, “where’s the hacker _thing_?” she asked Ray, ignoring the stares and Frank’s agape mouth, “not a chance” Jet Star replied raising his hands in surrender, she sighed, “We don’t need anything else” Kobra told her firmly, still eyeing her, “I’m meeting an old friend of Pony’s, if you must know” she adjusted, _half truth_ she thought, “I’ll need the bike keys” she added, he laughed a loud, “Poison won’t-” Funghoul started, she looked at the bedroom door, “Poison’s asleep” she told him, “and he doesn’t own me” she reminded him, he bit his tongue, “Ray please, I’m going to need credits” he just looked between her and Mikey, not wanting to disobey either of them, the younger man just shook his head, “Motor we _can’t_ -” he tried to explain, “I’m going regardless of if you help or not” she said, her tone relaxed and quiet, but stern, “I can _either_ take the tech, and the bike, or I can _walk_ the 8miles, and hold someone or _somewhere_ up with my gun for any money I need” they all looked uncomfortable, “I’m fine” she insisted, “he’s a friend and I’m not an idiot” Mikey shook his head, defeated this time, “just give it to her” he instructed as he flicked his keys at her, she took them happily, “don’t you _dare_ get yourself hurt” Frank hissed pulling her in for a hug, she forced out a laugh, “I won’t”, Mikey was busy glancing at the door to the bedroom, she knew what he was worried about, “If he wakes up just tell him the truth” she advised, “I’d be going even if he was awake” that was true, although she was glad that wasn’t an argument she’d had to have, Kid gave a curt nod as Ray passed a small metal device to her, she thanked him, “I have my radio, give me until 12, then call if I haven’t been in touch” loading it into her pocket before checking once more for her gun and heading up the stairs and straight out into the sun. She sat herself on the bike, shifting until her ribs felt comfortable, it really wasn’t painful now, just sore, like having a bruise that wasn’t healing. She looked at the compass that someone had taped onto the dash and set off north, he needed a helmet she thought happily, this Rastler guy sold car parts, maybe she’d do well on this trip. About 15 minutes in she saw a cash point, it was a small metal stand alone one at the road side, she pulled out the hacker and did the job, pocketing 400 credits and getting back on her bike, continuing her straight path north. She rumbled on, passing near enough nothing until a campsite came into view in front of her, she veered slightly too the left so she could make a straight line there, she looked at the clock on the dash board, she’d been gone almost exactly 60minutes, she smirked at least Pony couldn’t bitch at her for being late. As she slowed to a stop she saw 4 men, all shirtless, black fabric wrapped across their faces, makeshift shacks, some with more fabric draped over, some with metal as a makeshift roof, she raised her hand, the biggest of the men, must’ve been about 6 foot and pure muscle dropped whatever tool he was using, and walked to meet her, “Motor Baby?” he asked, slightly suspicious, she nodded, “Rastler?” she asked he nodded shaking her hand, his where calloused and rough, even though the gloves she was wearing she could tell, “Pony told me you wanted some guitars?” he pressed, gesturing for her to follow him into the camp fully, it stank of gasoline and blood, “Please, and if you’ve got any bike helmets, I’ve got credits” she added, he nodded again, “good timing you’ve got, rare things now, instruments” she laughed, “was it you we saw on the screens?!” a loud voice burst behind her, a younger man was stood, he looked like a kid, he was still strong but he was bouncing like a puppy, she smiled and felt herself blush, Rastler slapped a hand on his shoulder, “sorry about him” he said, giving the boy a glare, she shook her head, “It’s fine, you did see me” she spoke kindly, he grinned wide, “they said they’d kill ya’ but they didn’t!” she laughed then, as the older man shifted uncomfortably on his feet, “no-” she began to answer, but he cut her off straight away, “Maybe that means Davey wont die!” The man at her side sighed unhappily, “Kid, he’s sick” he said, sympathetically, “and don’t use real names” he scolded, “his brother” he coughed, walking her away, towards one of the shelters, “he cut himself on his foot, got infected, reckon he’s a gonner” he explained, she put a hand on Rastlers arm then, “I was training to be a nurse” she half whispered, “before all this” she gestured around, “I could take a look?” she offered, he blinked, taken a back, she wondered how long it’d been since anyone had been kind, “I’ll still pay for the stuff” she joked, he smiled, it looked genuine, “it’d be mighty appreciated” he waved a hand, calling the boy over, “he’sin his car, Junior, show her where your brothers at, she’s a medical gal” she blushed again, the younger man was over the moon, his brown hair spiked up and eyes glistening, “Might just be your lucky day” she muttered as he lead her towards a blue car, “can you get me some things I can use?” she asked as they stopped, she could smell the rot from outside the veichal, “if we’ve got it sure! whatever you need!” he replied, she nodded, calm, pulling her bandana over her mouth and nose, “boiled water, salted, clean rags, any fishing line and thread, a blade and a lighter or something that can make metal hot” she listed, “We’ve got that!” he rejoiced, “Just bring it to the door here” she requested, he nodded already bounding away. She held her breath, clicked off her radio so she wouldn’t be distracted and entered the vehicle, she’d wondered why he’d be put somewhere so hot, but she realised instantly the air conditioner was on, full blast meaning the metal capsule was colder than it would be in the shade. She examined him closely, the cut was visible on his lower leg, they’d covered it with fabric but it had bled through, she went up to his face, pressing a hand on his brow, he was out of it, they where right, the wound had festered, she had to swallow vomit as she pulled the bandage away from it, the infected flesh was visible, and hues of green and yellow surrounded it, she could cut it away, make the wound bigger but clean, she could burn it to stop any bleeding, and stitch it shut, it might not be too late, “it’s here!” Junior’s voice announced happily, she turned, stepping out of the car, “his cut’s infected, she told him honestly, I can cut away the rotten bits, and clean it out, make sure that it doesn’t bleed anymore and stitch it up, if it’s in his blood we can just hope he’ll sleep it off, but if it hasn’t spread past the wound he should be up in a day or two” he was hanging on her every word, “Will you do it?!” he half begged, she nodded, taking the equipment and laying it on the floor by the seats, “I’m gonna try” he ran back thrilled to tell the others. She sighed, dipping one rag in the salt water placing the hot soaked fabric over the gaping hole in the mans limb, he didn’t even flinch, she shook her head, dabbing away, once she was satisfied with that she grabbed the small flick blade knife she’d been given and the lighter, holding it above the flame until it glowed orange, the smell of hot metal filling her head, she was grateful for the cool air surrounding her as her adrenaline spiked, she looked down, making mental notes of where to cut away, it went quite deep she realised, _god_ , they’d left it a little too long, but she knew they didn’t know what else to do, she bit her tongue, held her breath and began slicing his flesh, it went through it like butter, despite her effort she smelt the burning, she focused her eyes and pushed deeper, taking the discarded skin and dropping it to the floor, she must’ve hit a nerve because his leg gave a meagre twitch, she blinked, but carried on, cycling round until she had nearly made the complete circle of the injury, she went a little further out to ensure the hole area was freshly opened and the previous infected tissue was removed, she nicked a vein and blood sprayed out at her, soaking her tshirt, she didn’t panic, simply removed the knife, held it back to the torch and pressed it down, melting the muscle and the vein back into the mess of red, she wiped her hands on her jeans, took the cloth from the sterile water and wiped away the thick liquid, and making sure she could see the area clearly, she was certain it was as clean as possible, she pulled the edges together, it was tight but she could stitch it, she saw the thick hook needle and fishing line the men had managed to forage for, she threaded it, heated the metal and watched for it to turn orange, pushing it through the skin, it was always harder than it looked, it was thick, gave resistance, but she did her best, looping it round, and bringing the wound together, it didn’t feel long until it was done, she tied it off and gave it one last wipe, she looked at his head again, he had a mild sweat, but he didn’t have any more of a fever than you’d expect, she, grabbed the remains of flesh and mess from the floor throwing it into the bucket before turning to exit, all 4 men where starring at her, she smiled, shocked, dropping the objects and wiping her hands, “I cleaned it, made it sterile and stitched it” she said, her voice shaking, her body adjusting to the heat, “he’s pretty unconscious so-” Rastler looked at her, “We did that” he explained, “gave him some tablets” she felt a grin grow on her face, “Well then, let him wake up, plenty of fluids” she was nearly knocked off her feet as Junior threw himself at her for a hug, she grimaced as her rib ached, but she returned his embrace, “if” she started as he pulled away, “if any cut is ever more than a finger tip deep, boiling salt water, if it’s bleeding and wont stop with pressure, take a blade” she raised the flick knife and the lighter, “and heat it until it glows” she demonstrated, and press it on the wound, it’ll burn the vein and stop it gushing, and it makes it clean, sew it like you would a jacket and bind it” the men where nodding at her and chattering, “it hurts with no pain meds but those tablets did the trick” Rastler put his hand out for her, she was shocked at the gesture but she gripped it, shaking it, “thank you” he said, genuinely. She nodded, “no problem” she meant it too, “I better get back” she realised, looking at the clock on her radio, she’d been gone over 2 hours now, time had gone so much faster when she was working on Davey, “the guitars and helmet are strapped to your bike, and we filled the tank as a thank you” he muttered, leading her back towards her transport, she handed him 250 credits, that he tried not to accept, she told him it was B/Ls money and they shared a joke, before he sent her on her way. she draped her leather jacket over her seat before getting on and riding, the blood had soaked through her white top, it was drying on her skin, the wind lashed on her face cooling her down, there was a huge black box attached to the back with rope, it through the balance off slightly but not enough for driving to be difficult, she noticed the object at her waist vibrating with sound, she reached one hand down as the bike drifted happily, she’d been on the road about 20 minutes, she was making good time and expected to be back at the safe house within another 10,“hello?” she answered propping the radio onto the dashboard, turning the volume high, “Where the fuck are you?!” Poison’s angry voice rattled the handset, she sighed, “nearly home” she replied calmly, “I went out to-“ he groaned, “Show Pony’s friend! I’ve heard!” he yelled again, she inhaled deeply, “Poison” she tried, her tone warning, “I’m _fine_ ” he half growled and she heard a door slam loudly, “I was so fuckin’ worried” he hissed, she smiled as she could picture him running his hand through his hair, “when did you wake up?” she asked, trying not to let humour into her tone, he grunted, clearly calming down at the sound of her voice, “just after you left apparently” he still sounded unhappy, “Your radio was off” he grumbled, “One of the guys was sick” she explained, “I cleaned him up abit” she could sense him shaking his head, “I’m sorry I scared you” she soothed, “I’ll be home soon” she promised, “ _hurry please_ ” he requested, his voice suddenly sad and shaking, “give me 10” she clicked the dial off, speeding up the bike as much as she could with the weight on the back. 


	12. Chapter 12

She lugged the package down, dragging in to the top of the stairs, bolting the door behind her. Frank appeared instantly at the sound of the noise, “you better get down here” he advised, “can you grab that?” she asked nodding behind her to the big black mass, he raised an eyebrow but accepted, taking her hand and leading her down, Mikey was sat on the sofa, sulking, Ray was on a bean bag with a card game laid out in front of him, and Gerard was bouncing on the stop, his eyes snapped to hers, she gave a weak attempt at a smile as she saw they where full of tears, they widened instantly when she stepped into his full line of view, he half ran to her, grabbing her waist, panting and grasping at her t-shirt, _the blood,_ she let out a breath as she grabbed his shoulders, pulling him up before tangling her hands in his hair, “it’s not _mine_ ” she assured him, dragging him in for a kiss, he was shaking, she felt a pang of guilt as she examined his features, he looked like a mess, she shook her head, “Gee” she cooed, “really, I’m fine” he nodded, straightening his back and trying to reign himself back in, glancing at his brother and the other two men that were now back playing cards, the package behind her at the foot of the stairs, “what’s that?” he muttered, a huge smirk spread onto her face, she gave his hand a squeeze, swinging so they where sat on the counters, he gripped a coffee cup to his chest, his red hair giving away the way he was still trembling, “That, is the surprise!” she announced, trying to lighten the mood, everyone looked at her like she’d gone mad, “you’ve been brilliant” she said calmly, stroking Poison’s arm now, “whilst I was gone, and since you’ve been back, you’ve gone above and beyond so-” Frank was already on his feet, “it’s for you” she affirmed, nodding, “and Mikey and Ray” she added, Gerard looked down at her, “although I think Gerard’ll enjoy it too” she added, everyone was smiling now, even Poison was looking at her with an unusual expression, “You open it Ghoul” Kobra insisted, the youngest of the men was already tearing at the corner, “We’ll keep the rope” she blurted out as an after thought, her eyes flashed to Gerard, who allowed a little smirk to play on his lips, she didn’t have time to worry about anyone finding her comment weird as a joyous screech echo’d arround the room, Frank was holding one of the guitars, clutching it to his chest, Ray had the other, but he was silent as he examined it, his mouth open, blinking like he couldn’t believe it existed, Mikey was running his fingers over the helmet, there was also a can of oil and some gas, she made a mental note to call Pony and tell him to thank Rastler, Gerard had walked forwards, joining his group of brothers in admiring their present’s, “are you _serious_?” Ray asked, his voice low, she nodded, “they’re yours” she confirmed, strumming her fingers on the wooden sideboard, “thank you” he said, he meant it, it made his soul ache, finally having his guitar again, Frank chorused it to, with Mikey. She grinned, flushing, “I’m glad you like them” she murmured, walking past the boys, grazing Gerard’s lower back, “I’m going to go get cleaned up” she nodded down at her blood covered torso, He nodded at her, leaning down for a kiss, she pecked his cheek, leaning into his ear, “take the rope to the bedroom” she whispered, too quiet for anyone else to hear, he pulled away from her his eyes shining, still surrounded by the patchy redness that only came with crying. He bit his lip with a smirk before nodding and rejoining the enthusiastic conversation he was having with the others. She left to the sound of their laughter, walking into the shower and closing the door.

 

She hadn’t bothered binding her ribs after her shower, she enjoyed the feeling of them being freed, she grabbed a black vest and her old jeans, putting them on, and reentering the room, she couldn’t help but smile wide as she heard music, Frank and Ray where busy getting a feel for their new instruments, Poison was leaning in the kitchen, it seamed to be his new perch she mused as she walked to him, whispering a hello, “do you feel better?” she pressed quiet, he shrugged, “I’m alright, I’d have been back sooner but I had to help” he nodded, cutting her off and taking her hand giving it a gentle squeeze, “the ropes by the bed” he murmured after a few minutes, “shame” she sighed, he looked down at her, questioning, “we don’t have a proper gag” she clarified still too quiet for them to be heard, Poison laughed then, his free hand going up to the bandana round his neck, he fingered it gently, “ah” she breathed, “did you eat?” she asked, he shook his head, “then eat” she instructed, her tone firm, he blinked at her but she swung infront of him, she gave his upper thigh a squeeze, “and you’ve already got a few things to pay for later” she teased, he nodded, his hips bucking gently against her, “mine” she hissed, he nodded eagerly, holding back whines, his head was fizzy, he’d been so worried, so sick with fear, but he didn’t know what to do when he’d woken up and she’d been gone, the others had tried to console him but it hadn’t worked, now she was back and he felt almost _euphoric_ , their bodies pressed together and hot, and she was telling him what to do and he was going to do it. “Eat” she commanded, sterner this time, he nodded once more, she squeezed his crotch, invisible to the others, but he swallowed loudly, shifting to the side and trying to hide the wood threatening to burst through his jeans, he was sure he heard her laugh, he made himself some soup, heating it up on the camping stove, Mikey eye’d him up approvingly, he didn’t think much as he ate, just forced mouthful after mouthful down his throat, when the bowl was nearly empty he brushed against her to grab her attention, she looked down and nodded once, “good boy” she whispered into his skin as she past him, he flushed and his crotch swelled more than he thought was humanly possible, he settled down on the beanbag, listening to the brilliant music filling the room.

“I’m gonna hit the hay” she announced after an hour or two, she made eye contact with Poison, he grinned, “me too” he agreed, Frank laughed loudly making another sex joke but ending it with a thank you, Ray was polishing his guitar now, but he looked up, with drowsy eyes and she thought it might have been the first time she’d seen him genuinely happy since Christa. Mikey hugged her from behind without warning, she giggled, muttering another your welcome, before breaking apart re taking Gerard’s hand and heading towards the bed room. 

 

“Strip” she commanded quietly when they where locked back into the room, he obeyed instantly, peeling himself out of his clothing, she grabbed the rope and her knife, cutting it into two long pieces as opposed to one, he was blinking at her, naked and flushed, his dick hard and red, she smirked, taking one of the pieces, “Hands behind your back” she whispered, as she pressed her body against his, he twitched, his hips grinding into her, “stay still” she added, her tone sterner than before, he moaned happily, she circled round, and tied his wrists together at the base of spine, she traced her hand on his ass, he shivered, trying not to hump the air, she grinned, dropping to her knees licking a line down the back of one of his thighs as she did, enjoying the way he mewled, she chuckled as she looped the last piece of rope around his ankles binding them together tightly, she stood again, this time using her nails to scratch a trail up his spine, he didn’t hold his moan this time, outwardly groaning, she came back to his front, grabbing his cock, and pressing her mouth to his neck, “lie down” she hissed, he did as she said, folding himself down onto the mattress, lying on his hands, and whimpering as he watched her strip herself down, she fumbled around, grabbing his bandana before going back to him, kneeling over his crotch, “how should I make you _pay_?” she asked, teasing, he blinked at her, “you’re allowed to answer” she probed, he was nearly drooling, his thoughts barely coherent, “whatever you want” he murmured, “I deserve it” he added quietly, she sniggered kindly, “You do” she agreed quietly, “for looking so fuckin’ pretty” she purred, her hand on his dick again, he didn’t know how he hadn’t passed out then, his eyes rolled to the back of his head, “pain you said?” she whispered in his ear, he nodded, almost desperate, “ _please_ ” she nodded, “please” she considered, “I like that” she purred, he moaned again, she rolled him over so he was now lying face down, she listened up against the door and heard music loud outside, she was grateful, she sat on his legs, her hands running up his back into his hair, she pulled it, so his back arched, “you look so good” she growled, his eyes rolled back in his head again, she dropped his head back down onto the pillow, he tried to buck his hips but where she was sat it was impossible, he groaned, the vibration being swallowed by the fabric, she slapped his ass then, hard, she liked the sound, and the sound he made, a noise in the base of his throat, “ _thankyou_ ” he hissed, “can you count?” she asked curious, he nodded, happy to, “do you have a safeword?” she murmured now, he looked up at her, making an attempt at shrugging, but his head was no where near where it should be to think about a smart come back, she laughed, “Comics” she whispered into his ear, “if it hurts too much or you want or need to stop anything, you say that” she instructed, he nodded, “wont need too” he assured her, a hint of a cheeky smile on his face, she shook her hair out over her back, “just in case” she assured him, “count” she insisted, before another hard slap landed on his flesh, “1” he hissed, “thank you” she giggled, laying another one down, “2-thankyo-” she grabbed his hair, twisting him up again, “you don’t have to say thank you everytime” she told him, before pushing his head back down, and speeding up, one hit after another rang out, his ass was red now, he’d lost count at about 20, which is when she stopped, her own palms stinging, she lay on him, pressing her breasts down onto his back, she was hot against him and his body was _burning_ with need, he looked up when she pulled his hair back, he felt drool drip down his chin and the humiliation fuelled his arousal, his skin was tingling and it hurt but in a way that made him need more, “more” he pleaded, “please” he added, tempted to beg her, she laughed, “more what?” she pressed, enjoying the way his cheeks flushed red when she made him ask for things outloud, he considered a moment, he knew he wanted her, he wanted to feel her, “fingers” he requested quietly, “please” she looked at him understanding but smug, she ran a hand over his ass, squeezing the tortured flesh, eliciting a whimper from the men beneath her, she brought that hand up to his mouth, he sucked her fingers eagerly, “slut” she whispered, half teasing, the other half pure sex, he moaned, gagging as he forced her hand as deep into his mouth as he could get, she pulled it free bringing it back down to his body, she felt around, dipping to his hole, she traced it slowly, tracing it leaving a cold trail of wetness, he was moaning now, constant and loudly, “please” he began, “please, _fuck_ , please” he started to beg, she hummed as she pressed one digit in, stretching him, his hands tensed, clenching and unclenching his fists. She reached up to her neck where she’d hung his bandana earlier, she undid it with her free hand before bringing it to his mouth, “you’re going to need to be way quieter than that” she mocked, he parted his lips, and she tied it round his head, the yellow clashing with his red hair, she released his head scratching down his back as she flexed one finger inside him, she tested some movement loving the way that despite the gag she could hear the desperate noises he was making, she pulled so she was almost out of him completely before she added one more finger, sinking both deep inside him, she used her hand to push his head into the pillow as the gag almost failed completely at making a dint in the noise he made then, she used her free hand to slap his ass one more time as she started to fuck him gently, curling her fingers up and stroking his prostate, he thought he was going to black out then, it felt too good, it hurt and burned with pure pleasure, he couldn’t describe it but he needed it, he tried to back against her, but due to her position, straddling his upper thigh it was impossible, he could feel his dick straining against his stomach and the sheets, he could feel it leaking and if he had been able to get any friction he knew he’d have come by now, she carried on for what felt like hours but what was only 10 minutes, teasing him and moving inside him, dragging her nails across his pale skin leaving red trails, finally she freed her hand, crawling up his body slowly, undoing the gag throwing it onto the floor and flipping him over, his eyes where unfocused as he was on his back again, she kissed him deep, he opened his mouth, giving her total access, he explored her mouth, and realised he was still moaning, one hand was in his hair, pinning him down, the other was on his chest, “ _fuck”_ he whimpered, his hips bucking now, he felt like his crotch was going to explode, she tilted her head, touching his lips with her finger, “slut” she repeated, he nodded, loving it, “can you be quiet?” she asked, already knowing the answer as she dropped one hand to his dick, it was _wet_ and _hot_ she knew it must be almost painful, he was straining against his restrained as she just circled it, barely touching it, he whined, so loud it was almost a cry, she used her other hand to cover his mouth, he shook his head, she laughed, “what was that?” she mocked, dropping that hand to his throat, “noma’am” he murmured, barely able to stop screaming again, “please” he breathed, “fuckmeplease” he whimpered as her hand continued, she just _stared_ at him, he could feel his body shaking, she scratched his chest, leaving more red marks, his mouth hung open his eyes rolling back as he moaned happily, “ _fuck_ ” he breathed, she leaned in, kissing his mouth, shifting her body so she was in line with him, before lowering herself down, she pressed her lips against his as he cried out, feeling her all around him, she laughed, replacing the kiss with her hand, pushing 2 fingers into his mouth to stifle the sound, it worked well, as she rode him he was barely audible, and she was actually quite good at being quiet, she was busy _absorbing_ it all. “You want to come?” she whispered into his ear, her hand leaving his mouth and wrapping her fingers in his hair, dragging him so he was close to her, “please” he forced out the word, “yes-please- _fuckplease_ ” he whined, she smirked before nodding and kissing him again, “prettyslut” she moaned, before they both finished, she managed to cover his mouth, his screaming absorbed by her palm, she blacked out a little but managed to stand, and roll him over, untying his bounds, and covering him with the cover before crawling in beside him, his head was limp on the pillow, sweat glistening on his skin, she smiled at him, pushing his hair out of his eyes, “love you” she murmured, he looked up through his lashes, smile wide and sloppy, “perfect” he agreed, “thatwas” she nodded, finishing his sentence “ _perfect_ ”, he nodded, kissing her hands, “sleep” she suggested after they’d remained entwined for around half an hour, she lay, letting him plant pecks wherever he could reach whilst she stayed still, rubbing his wrists, the little red marks already fading, he looked at her a little more sadly now, she brought her hand down covering his eyes, she pressed, closing his eyelids, he shivered, but she curled in, stroking the warm flesh of his ass, he cooed happily at the contact, “sleep” she repeated, a little firmer now, he nodded, his eyes staying closed, “ _willyoube_?-” 

“I’m not going anywhere tomorrow” she promised, he exhaled, relaxing at that, “i’m sorry” she whispered, “I know I scared you” she added, he didn’t respond, “but I’m _safe_ ” she continued, as he pulled her into an closer into his body, she continued reassuring him until she fell into a sleep herself.


	13. Chapter 13

When she woke the next day Poison’s body was still draped over hers, he was breathing soft and steady, his eyes closed, she smiled down, he looked peaceful, genuinely relaxed, she shifted away from him, standing softly, she dressed her self before rummaging through his bag, finding a clean pair of boxers for him, a new t-shirt for him to put on, she left them on her side of the bed, she placed her hand on the door handle, as she pushed it she heard a gentle strumming, Ray was perched on the couch, Frank and Mikey sleeping on the floor, Jetstar was running his fingers over the strings of his new guitar, a quiet melody filling the space, she nodded at him, he smiled a little, meeting her eye, his long curly hair hanging in front of his face, “mornin’” she murmured, her voice quiet as to not disturb the others, she stepped over them as she made a B-Line for the kettle and the little pot of coffee, she clicked it on, and Ray stopped playing, “why’d you stop?” she asked, listening to the steam start to rise, he raised a brow at her, she gestured down at his hands, he bit his lower lip before resumed his hand movements, the background noise resettling into the atmosphere, “ _I miss her_ ” he whispered as she blew on her drink, it heating her hands, she sighed, being careful not to trample the sleeping men as she walked over, sitting herself next to Ray on the couch, she rested her head on his shoulder, not knowing what else to do, “me too” she agreed, he wrapped an arm around her enjoying the female energy, “could I have?-” she started thinking outloud, she shook her head exhaling, not wanting to drag up anything, the older man looked at her, still holding her against him, “what?” he pressed, she looked up, blinking, “could I have saved her?” she questioned, not meeting his eyes, he groaned, shaking his head now, hair covering his features, “no” he told her honestly, he’d been the only other person out on that supply run, it had been unlucky, horrific but just _unlucky,_ dracs, a headshot, he blinked the memory away, she was holding his hand now, he hadn’t noticed her taking it but he was squeezing it in return, “I would have tried” she whispered, he smiled at that, kissing the top of her haid, tasting her hair, “Iknow” he mumbled, “you’ve got us” she reminded him, looking up now, “we love you-” she took a sip of her coffee, “I know it’s not the same” she allowed, he shook his head, “it’s enough” he promised, “I never thanked you properly” he muttered, she went to cut him off but something in his face stopped her, so she just let him hold her hand and speak, “for everything” She swallowed another mouthful of hot bitter liquid as the fluorescent lighting clicked on, “we’re family” she stated bluntly, “play me something?” she requested quietly, pulling her legs up so she was leaning against his body, curled up, he barely moved other than to take his hand back from hers, it looked so easy, so effortless the way he seemed to just graze the strings and music rang out, she sighed happily, content and comfortable, she saw Mikey stir a few moments later, Frank seemed to mirror him, waking too, they looked dazed, yawning and stretching like cats, Mikey barely seemed to be able to see before he wondered clumsily into kitchen counter, fumbling around, “coffee?” he croaked, looking at Frank who nodded, he was sat cross legged on the ground now, running his fingers through his hair, he huffed out a “please” the blonde man now at the kitchenette, “I’ll take a refill” she requested, holding out her cup, her eyes shining, he looked taken aback to see her, but grinned wide, taking it and nodding at Ray, he didn’t drink coffee, so they’d stopped asking, “I’m gonna make breakfast in a minute” she told them, Frank was awake properly now, holding his own acoustic, inserting notes that complimented the song JetStar had been composing, “what does everyone want?” she offered as Mikey past her her cup back, she inhaled the aroma, feeling it warm her senses, “can you do omelettes?” Frank asked, hopeful, she giggled, standing, her place being taken by Kobra, she walked over to the kitchen area, looking down into the icebox, there was eggs, cheese, cans of soups and stews, some more pizza bites, “I think I can manage that” she confirmed, getting to work, it was difficult with the limited equiptment but she served up 5 paper plates, each with a section of the meal, “come on then” she chuckled feeling like she was calling children to their dinner, they lined up, taking their food with hugs and gratitude, she put Gerard’s a little further back on the counter, he _would_ eat it when he woke up, she’d make sure of it. “this is fuckin’ ace” Frank moaned, shovelling the hot food messily into his mouth, she chuckled, “so good!” Mikey agreed, he looked like Gerard when his hair was out of his face, she noticed, he was growing into his face, their smiles where more similar now than ever, Ray nodded in agreement, “home _cookin_ ’!” Frank continued, like it was the only thing he’d ever tasted that wasn’t just cold slop. “If you _asked_ ” she teased, “I’d cook for you all more often” Funghoul snorted, Kobra shook his head disapprovingly, eyeing the younger man with a smirk, Ray just seemed content, she liked that, he deserved some peace after the hell he’d been through, “Baby?!” Poison’s voice suddenly yelled, startled, pure fear in his voice as he swung the bedroom door open, she was so shocked she nearly jumped onto the wooden surface behind her, “Shit man!” Ray shouted, everyone stared, the red haired man was stood, boxers the only thing on, his eyes red and wide, terrified as they scanned the place for her, “I’m here” she confirmed, drinking the dregs of her now tepid coffee, he blinked, she was sure she could see tears down his cheeks, she made a step forward but he looked around, his eyes darting madly, before his cheeks flushed red and he spun on his heels storming back into the bedroom and slamming the door behind him. Everyone looked on in confusion, Mikey opened his mouth to speak but she raised her hand, dumping her empty plate and cup behind her and heading for the bedroom, “I got it” she muttered as she entered, closing the door behind her, Gerard was stood, leaning against the wall, his arms crossed over his head, his body heaving as he cried, he was _loud, “_ Hey” she soothed, “stop that” she whispered, placing her hand on his back, he froze her touch, his chest rising and falling heavily, she wrapped her arms around him, coaxing him into her body, she hushed him quietly as he trembled against her, “I-II-Idont” she shook her head, “dont talk” she told him, just rocking him slowly from side to side on her feet, “I’m here” she purred, her hands in his hair now, she pulled him back to examine his face, his lips parted, his eyes frantic and darting around, “Gee” she insisted, “look at me” he did, he really did, his eyes glued on hers then, he’d woken up and seen she wasn’t there again, he hadn’t been able to think, he’d just acted on reflex, launching out to find her, his heart racing and pounding so hard like it was going to burst through his ribcage, it hurt, not knowing exactly where she was hurt, then he’d found himself standing, crying, and _fucking_ shaking like a pathetic waste of space, infront of everyone that mattered, he’d turned and ran, what was _wrong_ with him? he wretched, she held him firm, “stop” she whispered, “breath” she continued, trying to calm him, she could see the pain on his face, she could see the shame and the pure terror there, he did as he was told, breathing in through his nose and exhaling loudly from his throat, he felt drool drip from his chin, she used her sleeve to wipe it off, he closed his eyes then, “I’m here” she reminded him, catching him as he fell into her arms, “I’m sorry” she whispered into his ear, “I didn’t think” she admitted, she sounded guilty, he couldn’t bare that, he tried to object, but all that came out was a stunted mewl, she soothed him again, stroking his bare back, trailing her fingers over his spine, she held him up, “I-II-I- _fuck_ ” he attempted to explain again, she kissed his head, not needing to hear him to know he was hurting, “you _panicked_ ” she acknowledged, he nodded, trying to hide the shame in his eyes by looking at the floor, she pulled him in, pressing their lips together, he met her desperately, opening his mouth for her, trying to stifle his cries but failing, he gripped at her top, clawing at the fabric, making sure she was real and couldn’t leave, “you _panicked_ and it’s _okay_ ” she repeated as they pulled apart, he was wheezing now, “I told you I wasn’t going anywhere” she reminded him, “I’m right here” she murmured, he nodded again, “S-ss-sorry” he hissed, she huffed an empty laugh, shaking her head, wiping the tears from his face, new ones spilled down to replace them as he blinked, but he was no longer struggling to get breathes into his lungs so she considered it a win, “don’t be” she assured him, “calm down” she exhaled, “I got up early, made breakfast, and that’s it, I was letting you sleep” she told him, he nodded, listening, genuinely trying to calm himself. “Come sit” she requested leading him to the bed, not really giving him an option as she pulled him down with her, not that he objected, he followed her silently, his body still shaking, “just breath it out” she instructed, stroking his lower back now, he nodded, the adrenaline leaving him feeling empty, “ _f-fuckin’mess_ ” he stammered, looking down at his shaking hands angrily, she shook her head firmly, “You are not a mess” she stroked his hair back from his face, tucking the tangled strands behind his ears, “I’m not going anywhere” she murmured, pulling him down so they where lying together, “just take a minute” she requested, he nodded, grabbing for her body, curling up against her, his lips on her shoulder, he could taste the cotton, he let his eyes close, and felt her pinch him as she had started doing, he tried to mutter a thank you but it came out as a hum against her, they stayed closed, “ _safe_ ” she whispered, “ _here_ ” she added, continuing reassurance as he began to settle, his cries turning into whimpers and convolutions becoming shivers, he must’ve drifted off, because when he woke up again she was asleep, still holding him, he nuzzled at her neck, knowing what had happened, she stirred, opening her eyes and smiling, pulling him in and kissing her mouth, he moaned, happily and holding her close. “ _Better?_ ” she pressed as the pulled apart, their brows touching, he nodded, “ _I’m sorry-_ ” he started, trying to excuse himself, she put a finger to his lips, “you didn’t do anything” she inserted, “I love you” he cut in, “I-I-Jjust freaked when you weren’t here” he explained, she nodded, “I know” she promised, “I didn’t think” she allowed, “I just wanted to get coffee and-” she carried on, he growled, angry, angry at himself, how dare he make her feel guilty for wanting to eat a few feet away from him, “I-I’msorry” he grunted, she kissed his throat, he felt his frustration melt away, he couldn’t hang onto self hatred when she was so warm, and loving and pure and _kind_ to him. “Mine” she reminded him, “If you need me to wake up with you until you feel better, that’s what I’ll do” she swore, her words melting into his skin, he blinked, his lashes fluttering against her cheek, he couldn’t believe how he’d gotten so lucky, he breathed her in, just unable to feel self loathing, when she was pressed against him. “how long have we been out?” he asked, curious, she adjusted herself so she could check the time on her radio, “not long” she answered, “about an hour” he hummed, “get dressed” she suggested softly, nodding over his shoulder at the pile of clean clothes she’d left for him, “I made omelette” she added, “you can heat it up” he hummed again, trying to feel nervous for the reaction he’d get from his brothers, but her hand on his hip made it difficult to feel anything other than _blissful_ he wanted to do anything in the world he could to make her happy, he’d do anything she asked just because she’d asked it, “dress, and come out to eat” she requested, more of a command than a question, though. He nodded, unable to refuse her, he stood, and pulled on his clothing, grateful for the cleanliness of them, before he pressed his hand on the door, opening it and reaching behind him, taking her hand in his other, walking out into the room, his brothers only smiled at him as he waved, “feelin’ better?” Mikey asked, he nodded, “thanks bro” he muttered, he snapped out of his day dream as Frank laughed loud and barky, he felt a slight pang of embarrassment but he found it difficult to care, this was his family, he reminded himself, they all had their off days, she let his hand go then, and she sat down on the floor joining the small man, ruffling his black hair, “Your foods on the counter” she told Poison, smiling gently, he could see in her eyes he was going to have to eat it, although, it was fresh, and he was _hungry_ , he nodded once, walking over and eating it cold, even over an hour old and not hot, it was the best thing he’d tasted in a month. She looked him, approving, before joining in the game that was played out in front of Frank, Mikey came in after a few hands, and Ray took the place beside Gerard, still gripping his new guitar.

 

Around a week past in an uneventful blur, they spent their days lazily roaming the quarters, showering, and eating, and listening to music, either played out loud thanks to her gifts, or from the little boxtop radio they’d been carting around for years, and the nights she spent with Gerard, doing all manner of things, but she always stayed in with him long enough for him to wake up beside her, it had definitely helped his mood,“I need to get out of this _prison_ ” Mikey complained one day around noon. “it’s hot and it stinks” They’d made the lighting situation bearable, and had been trying to stay as occupied as possible but he was right she thought, it was starting to feel like a trap they couldn’t escape from, she looked at Poison out of the corner of her eye, he was clearly thinking things through, his nervousness had ebbed over the past few days, but he shifted his weight from foot to foot, as he met her gaze the way he did before all this, she smiled, “We could go out for a walk, see if we can find some food?” she pitched the idea calmly, Gerard nodded in agreement, crunching up his disposable cup and throwing it into the bag they’d set on the floor as a trashcan. Mikey was so excited she thought he might combust, even Poison gave up and grinned, shouting Frank from the shower to let him know he had about 15 minutes or we would leave him behind, she heard banging and frantic movements, before he came stumbling out, fly undone and hair dripping, “Thank _fuck_ ” he hissed as Ray handed him his jacket, laughing at the way he was practically racing up the stairs, the three men ventured up first, tripping over each other to break free into the hot air, she shook her head like a parent, Poison took her hand in his, she saw he was matching her expression, “you didn’t have to agree” she muttered, as they strolled much less eagerly to the exit, “I did” he replied, he still sounded happy though, so she hummed, feeling the sun hitting her face, it was so bright she had to blink slowly, adjusting to the outside world, the red haired man bolted the door behind them, and she looked ahead, Frank was dramatically spinning in a circle, his arms wide, Mikey was chuckling like a school boy and Ray was looking scornful and unimpressed, despite that his eyes shone with joy, she inhaled, her lungs expanding fully and comfortably now, Gerard appeared behind her again holding her from behind, “It’s healed” she whispered, as he strummed his fingers against her rib cage gently, like he was trying to feel the bones vibrate, “I’m not going to say I should go out and get into a fist fight” she allowed as he turned her to face him, closing the small space between them, “But it’s _set_ ” he kissed her mouth then, like he could finally breath, hearing that confirmation had taken a weight off his shoulders, she’d been saying it wasn’t painful but he’d been unsure if that was just her being brave, but now, out in the open air, her vest riding up, her jacket hanging loose and familiar, he knew she was being honest, the bruising had gone, fading to just a small halo of yellow that melted into her skin, plus now he was breathing non recycled oxygen, maybe just _maybe_ , his brain would stop malfunctioning, all he wanted to do was _hold_ her, _fuck_ her and be _fucked_ by her and even bodily functions like _eating_ and _sleeping_ all came as an after thought compared to that, it was like he was on _drugs_ , or _something_ , realising his hands where up under her vest again, she was staring at him, amused when he managed to blink himself back to reality, “good” he decided, glad he could form a coherent thought with the way she was now just watching him, affection oozing from her pores, he didn’t know how he got so lucky, she was still patching him back together, she examined his eyes, his thick lashes batting at her innocently, confused, but not unhappy she decided, there was even a hint of a genuine smile on his lips, she kissed him again, he giggled, shy as the broke apart for the second time, it felt like a dream he decided, they where watching his brothers walk ahead of them, joking and roughhousing in the sand and the sun, whilst they wondered hand in hand for miles, they had water, and their guns, and credits and relative safety, it was pretty close to perfect, he laughed loud and happy as Frank stumbled a head, they weren’t heading anywhere in particular, just being outside was nice, it was almost too hot, but luckily there was a nice breeze in the air, she looked at Gerard as they continued on into the desert, he seemed like he was almost back to himself, she felt a nice sense of pride then, seeing him relax, the others stopped ahead of them, allowing them to catch up, “where do you wanna go?” Mikey asked, genuinely curious, not really aiming the question at anyone in particular once they were all back in a huddle, the men all shrugged, genuinely not caring, so she pulled a paper man out of her jacket pocket, Poison looked at it over her shoulder, looking at his own compass too, “There’s nothing for miles” he analysed, “couple of camps that you spotted but they’re out to the west, we’ve gone east” Ray seemed like he was completely uninterested in that, he’d already spread his jacket out on the dirt, lounging back on it, “let’s just hang out here” he said, she met his eyes, he smiled up at her, she caught her self laughing, she didn’t know why, she was just happy, before she could stop herself Poison had joined in, both of them folding at the waist and hysterically hissing, she was sure the others would be staring at them like they had completely lost it, but she couldn’t see, her eyes scrunching up, tears forming at the corners, “what’s so funny?” Frank asked, suddenly, she opened them, looked at Gerard and just like that they both started laughing again. Mikey must have surrendered because by the time they’d calmed down enough to just be giggling like school children he was sat next to ray on his own jacket, sunglasses on and a smirk on his face, Funghoul was dragging a large log back over, that image nearly made her erupt into her previous state again, but she held it in, falling down to the floor, flopping into Poison’s waiting lap, “ _sickenin_ ’” Frank teased quietly as he took his place on the ground, his sleeveless jacket still on, he was the only one who hadn’t stripped off their top layer, instead of refuting his jest Gerard just wrapped his arm around her waist, kissing her head, she sighed happily, leaning back and closing her eyes, feeling the vitamin D soak into her skin, he moved her hair back, tucking it behind her neck so that her chest was clear, she hummed happily at his touch, before becoming silent, loving listening to the conversations around her. A few hours past, they chatted and joked, and played cards and she probably drifted off in Gerard’s arms once or twice, the sun was still blazing and high in the sky, the boys had said they should have brought their guitars, “I’m hungry” she whined suddenly, not really knowing why she’d said so out loud, Gerard chuckled softly increasing his hold on her, “there’s some sandwiches in my bag” he told everyone, knowing they where all probably due a meal, he’d stuffed 5 sandwiches in his backpack along with the water before they’d left. Mikey was already rummaging around the grey sack, pulling out blankets, a bandage, leather gloves, a huge bottle of clear liquid and _finally_ the plastic bag containing the food, Frank rubbed his hands together eagerly, grabbing at the one Kobra handed him, he was already ripping into the packaging when she caught hers, Mikey through it, waited for her to put it to the side before launching another for Gerard, Ray took his, with a gruff thank you, and then they started to eat, Gerard was the only one who didn’t start to unwrap his, she turned to look at him scornfully, physically handing him his discarded lunch, “eat” she half demanded, he sighed in defeat, taking it from her and joining the others, she relaxed back into him, satisfied at how little probing he required now, he must’ve been hungry she thought, she had no idea why it was still something he wasn’t doing on his own, it worried her a little but then he laughed behind her, and she snapped back to the happy conversation that was buzzing between the men, and decided that she didn’t care because she was going to make sure he looked after himself regardless. Once they where done eating Ray was the next to complain, announcing he needed to piss, she’d had another bout of infectious laughter then, joined by Gerard, Mikey _and_ Frank this time, which caused him to sulk off to go relieve himself behind a distant rock. They’d barely calmed down by the time he reappeared, less grumpy and a smile on his face, “what’s gotten’ into you today?” he asked, sitting back down, breathless, she shrugged, “just happy Ray” she replied letting her eyes roll close, “either that or I’m going mad” she joked feeling the man behind her vibrate with his own laughter again. “That ships sailed” Jet Star inserted, she opened one eye to see him, lying flat down now, a toothy grin on his face, “For all of us” Frank added, pulling a hideous face at Mikey, who just shook his head, drinking deeply from his water bottle, the wind had died down, it was _hot_ now. “Do we have to go back?” Frank winged, laying out a new spread of cards between him and Mikey, Gerard nodded instantly, “We don’t have any stuff” he warned, “plus it wont stay this warm all night” Frank exhaled, not challenging the older man, she looked up, seeing his bright hair casting shadows on his face he met her gaze, he looked good she noticed, if a little concerned, “I’m okay” she told him quietly, he nodded, smiling, he’d needed that, she’d been looking at him expectantly and a familiar pang of worry had flared in the back of his mind, he shook it off, waiting for her to continue speaking, “We should move out of the safe-house” she said finally, Ray nodded and someone else made a noise of agreement, “we’ve been there a little too long” Poison hummed thoughtfully, she half expected him to make an excuse to stay longer, she wouldn’t have fought it if he had, instead he nodded, “We’ll pack up tonight then” he announced, everyone looked shocked, she smirked, knowing they hadn’t expected it either, they’d all been preparing for a bigger debate by the looks of it, “Awesome!” Frank choked, spluttering water out onto the ground infant of him, he’d be enthusiastic about anything she mused, she _adored_ Frank, she _adored_ all of them of course but there was something about the energy the dark haired man exuded that reminded her of Show Pony, he was older than her, but the youngest of the men, and he was funny, and gentle and passionate about _living_. “You’re staring at me” he observed then, she shook her head, realising just how much she was missing her brother, “sorry” she replied, “You reminded me of something” he raised his eyebrow but didn’t ask, Gerard curled his body more protectively around her then, increasing the pressure on her waist, “remind me” she murmured up into his neck as the others resumed their chatter, “what?” he asked, pure concern in his tone, she pecked his cheek, “to speak to Show Pony tonight, I want to check in on him” she told him honestly, he let a lopsided smile spread back onto his face, nodding once and relaxing again, breathing so slow and steady she wondered if he was awake, she let her eyes glaze over, scanning the horizon, the line separating the orange ground from the bright blue sky was wavy with heat and distance, the area they where in was relatively baron, even for the desert, there where a few far off trees that looked like skeletons, black and charred, and a few large rocks, but there was no foliage, no man made structures or sign posts, she blinked as one of the trees looked like it was _moving_ , moving towards her, “that’s not a tree” she whispered, realisation pouring out of her, everyone froze, looking at her, and then turning to follow her gaze, “what’s not a tree?” Gerard asked, humour still in his voice, she pointed, “That’s a _person_ ” Frank agreed, the figure was limping, she was almost certain, she jumped on to her feet, probably half a second before everyone else did, then, the figure waved, “help!” it shouted, “Please!” it continued, the sound quiet due to distance but desperate, “Help me I’m hurt!” Gerard put a hand on her shoulder but it was too late, she was running towards him, an instinct to assist the anonymous figure, she heard footsteps behind her and knew that the men she was with would be following, as she approached she saw that the dark mass was a man, hunched over, and begging for help, he definitely wasn’t a drac, she noted the patches on his jacket as she slowed to a stop, “Motor Baby” she introduced herself, “What’s wrong?” she insisted, placing a hand on his shoulder, she was faster than the others, they where still running behind her, watching the scene now she’d stopped, inches from the stranger, “You” he panted, “you where on the screens?” he asked, his voice still shaking, she nodded, “I was” she confirmed, still looking for any injury, “Sorry” he muttered before suddenly lunging, he grabbed her before she really knew what was happening, she blinked and kicked a little but she stopped moving when she felt the cold metal of his gun pressed up against her temple, “I’ve hurt my ankle” he whispered, “but I reckon’ there’s a hell of a price on your head” she lashed out, angry, he gripped her tight bending her arm behind her, and pressed the metal harder into her skull, “ _I’ll shoot you”_ he warned, his adrenaline must be spiking she thought, she shook her hair out of her eyes, ignoring how he growled at her movement, she couldn’t get an inch of leverage anyway, “ _cunt_ ” she spat, he laughed, “Rich cunt soon I bet” he retorted, she rolled her eyes, seeing her group pull up a few meters in front of them, all had their guns drawn, “evenin gents” he growled, stepping forwards, she met his pace almost tripping, “no need for that” he nodded at their weapons, “my friends will be here soon and we’ll be on our way” he continued, Poison had one eye shut, aiming, trying to see if he could make the shot, he probably could, he was an amazing shot, but he wouldn’t take it, not whilst she was a hostage, he wouldn’t risk it, “oh fuck off” she muttered, bored now, he twisted her arm painfully, but she didn’t make a sound, just met Frank’s eyes, he was looking for anyone in the distance, this they’d rehearsed before, a basic formation, although this wasn’t exactly how she’d imagined a scenario like this to play out. “You can go” Gerard said finally, “She stays” he sounded firm, she liked that, confident, he’d probably gone onto auto pilot she mused, the pressure on her skin snapping her back to her current situation, the man holding her shook his head, “can’t agree to that I’m afraid, see, she was better livings prize a while back, I’m sure they’ll pay me nicely, to have her returned to them” she snarled then, thrashing, he clicked his gun to show it was loaded, she was sure she heard Gerard do the same, “I’m a good shot” he warned, she almost believed he’d do it, she was watching the red head intently, his finger was on the trigger, his brothers beside him, their own guns raised, “We’ll die together” he captor joked, lunging sidewards, hiking her up so she was thrown around like a doll, the men infront of them mirrored their movements, eyes trained on her, “plus” the voice behind her added, “we’ll have fun, wont we doll?” his free hand slipping down her belly button, towards her belted jeans, she noticed a little movement in her arm as he did that, the change in position granting her leverage, she took the chance she threw her head back, hearing his nose crunch into his skull, she ducked, kicking her legs behind his, forcing him to ground with a loud thud, to her it had happened in slow motion, she saw his dark grey gun fly from his hand as his arm hit the dirt with a crack, his face was already covered in blood that was pouring out of his nose, she felt an unfamiliar rage fill her, it wasn’t a usual anger, she was scarily calm as she straddled the man, holding his wrists in place, she was on his hips, looking down, he had blonde hair, natural not bleached, it was dirty and close shaven, his eyes where green, she _hated_ him, she _wanted_ to hurt him. “You didn’t tell me your name” she said softly, as Poison and the others gathered round in a circle, he struggled against her, trying to get free, she punched him then, she hadn’t planned too, but she wasn’t sure she was completely in control of her actions anymore, so she just played it out, letting herself do whatever she was going to do, she knew she’d probably knocked a tooth loose from the way he started to gargle blood, “mike” he grunted, almost a breath, she pulled his head up, “I didn’t hear you” she mocked, “Mike!” he half shouted, spitting blood down himself, she hummed, she hummed in response, “nice to meet you” his head was rolling back, limp in her hand, she slapped him, open palm and loud, “what’s the matter?” she cooed, “I thought we where gonna have fun?” he tried to speak but something in her face must’ve stopped him because he closed his mouth, air whistling through his shattered nostrils, she moaned, looking up meeting Mikey’s eyes, he looked scared, she wondered what off briefly before realising it was probably of the entire situation, “Do we have nails?” she enquired, her tone like she was just asking what they where having to eat, “I-I-I think so” he replied, not daring to ask why, but instantly moving, rummaging through the same rucksack from earlier that seamed to have everything hidden inside, “babe” Gerard whispered, testing her attitude, she didn’t face him, didn’t take her eyes off the man she was on top of, “ _I know you guys”_ he wheezed between tortured breathes, “You’re the good guys” he chided, “You’ll let me go” he sounded a little less confident then, she laughed, loudly, almost manic, “They might have done” she nodded to the men behind her, “I’m almost certain, that they would have done” she continued, her hands still pulling his hair, her weight pressing down on him, “but you obviously weren’t _watching_ the screens you said you saw me on” she spoke the words softly, carefully, almost tasting them, Mikey appeared then, he had three large, long nails, they where thick, they where what they used to attach their tents to the hard dirt. _Perfect_ she thought, “Thank you” she said, he looked _different_ , at that,a little pale, she took them in her hand, surprised that they weren’t shaking, “what was I saying?” she whispered down at her prisoner, “oh yes” she cut him off, “if you _had_ watched you’d have heard me saying” she leant down, “I’m not one of the boys” she jested, “and I’m definitely not a _good guy_ ” she thought on that, “I’m _kind_ ” she began, those green eyes trained on her, “I’m a good cook, a good _fuck”_ she heard her group laugh behind her, “I can bind a wound, I can shoot with the best of them, I can hold my own in a fight, and as you _now_ know, I can go a little _overboard_ when I’m upset” she finished pondering, “but a _good guy_ ” she shook her head slowly, “no, I don’t think that’s ever been what I am” he looked terrified, she noticed that, and smiled, “and you scared my friends” she realised that’s probably why she was so _angry_ , “you wanted to send me back to somewhere I don’t want to be” she added, like a curse, she did sound scary, she blinked, her eyes had glazed over, her blood was hot in her veins, “I’m-S” she punched him again, cutting him off, “no you’re not” Gerard scoffed behind her, he circled round, crouching down and looking into the hostage’s face, “you’re sorry it didn’t go your way” his eyes lolled back in his head, she shifted, Poison moving back out of her way, she reached down grabbing his hands, holding them above his head, on top of the other, she held one of the metal spikes out, “ _hammer_ ” she demanded, there was shuffling but a hand she recognised as Ray’s handed her the one they used for the tents, “thank you” she said, meeting his eyes breifly, taking it, without a seconds thought she smashed the nail in, through both of the mans captive palms, she ignored his screams, it was blood curdling and shrill as she continued to pound it into the dirt, breaking the bones and tearing the muscle, until she knew it was in-bedded deep into the earth beneath them, she sat back satisfied, pushing one of her own hands over his mouth the stifle the noise, “ _see_ ” she growled, “the thing is, I think you’re a liar” she chided, “you said you where waiting for your friends to come, and you’d take me and sell me back to better living” his head was thrashing under her, “I don’t think you have friends who know where you are” she held him firm, “I don’t _even_ think you would have shot me, if we’re being honest” he went still, shock probably setting in, blood starting to clot around the wounds she’d made, “so, on the subject of honesty, if you _do_ have people coming to meet you here, they’ll probably be able to save you” she sat back, raising her own scarred hands for him to see, “although, that wont be a particularly pleasant experience for you either” she moved down, grabbing his legs, they gave a weak kick as she lined up the next nail with the first of his ankles, he howled as she ignored his attempt at movements and pierced through his bone and flesh, securing his ankle with the same actions she had with his hands, he’d given up fighting as she repeated the action for a third and final time, his involuntary screeching ringing out as she dropped the hammer, satisfied, she crawled back up to his face, she was smirking, she could feel the muscles in her face aching, she grabbed his cheeks with one hand, shaking his head around a little to make his eyes roll back to look at her, “as I said then, if you do have friends you’ll probably live if they get here in time” she muttered, picking up on her earlier train of thought, “and maybe you’ll learn to keep your hands to yourself” he blinked at her, his face dirty and red with blood that was both drying and fresh, he was limp beneath her, “but like I said, _honestly,_ I think you’ll die” he opened his mouth but she threw his head down, wiping his blood from her hands onto his jacket, reaching into his pocket, “we’ll take this-” she muttered, throwing a little bag of credits to Mikey who caught it, his mouth hanging open, she felt around the other pockets but found them empty, “think of it as payment for our trouble” Frank suggested a patronising glee in his voice, kicking the limp man gently with his boot, she clapped her hands together standing suddenly, Mikey held out his hand to help her, she took it grinning, a bit more normally now, she looked around and noted that someone had picked up the gun that had been strewn on the ground, “We should go” Poison said, breaking the silence and replacing his younger brother in holding her, she nodded, suddenly almost dizzy, they started walking, Gerard’s arm looped behind her waist, “are you alright?” he probed, she nodded, “I’m fine” she whispered, answering honestly, he chuckled a little, quiet and breathy, still supporting her, “as long as you’re not hurt?” he pressed, she shook her head, “she’s fine!” Frank chimed in coming up beside them his smile wide and toothy, “She’s a fuckin badass!” he jostled her shoulder, Gerard shook his head but she just blinked, still a little shell shocked, it had been a long, long time since she last fought anyone properly, she thought back, trying to picture the last time she used her hands like that, it was a while before the whole botched rescue mission, a few dracs in a bar, just her, Crhista and Kid, she’d hit one over the head with a bottle because he’d cornered Christa and tried to question her, after the fight she’d attached him to a chair covered in broken glass and they’d left him there, the men chatted behind her, bringing her back to the present, they might have been beside her now, she didn’t know, she didn’t care, all she knew was Poison was holding her and the adrenaline was effecting them all how it normally did, Mikey was shaky, his hands always _shook_ after a confrontation, no matter how small, Frank just _couldn’t_ stop talking, words bubbling out of his mouth sometimes in the wrong order, Ray _always_ came down with a headache that took hours to shift, which wasn’t helped by Funghoul rambling on, and Gerard got _bossy,_ bossy and a nightmare if he didn’t get his own way. She didn’t really know what her _thing_ was after this kind of event, she just got a little tired and looked after the others, and usually stayed pretty quiet, not that there was usually space to talk when Frank was at his peak. “Put your jacket on” she scolded Poison as they walked on, they must have just under a mile left but the sun was setting and everyone had bundled back up into their leather other than the man at her side who was gripping his over one arm so he could hold her with the other, she was so quiet she’d wondered if he'd heard her but he looked at her, blinking, she nodded at his arm, he understood then, reluctantly releasing her and slipping into it, zipping it up, and retaking her hand, she looked at Ray then, he was sulking, head down and pale, “head?” she guessed, he nodded once smiling slightly, at the predictability “I have tablets” she recalled, “hold up” she instructed, everyone came to a slow stop and she walked over to Kobra, he was the one holding the bag now, she opened it and dug around inside until she found a sheet of pills, small white pain killers, nothing too strong but it’d take the edge off for the walk, “here” she cooed, passing it to JetStar, “thank you” he mumbled, she pressed a hand to his brow, _just to be safe_ , the way he looked at her made her think that maybe overcautious was her thing, “are you good?” Kobra asked as she sealed the bag back up, “he tried to fuckin kill you” Mikey he added, when she just chuckled a little, “I’m _fine_ ” she promised, all eyes now on her, half looking at her cautiously, the other half staring with admiration, “I haven’t seen you fight like that in a while” the younger way commented, “Me neither” Gerard agreed, she laughed properly then, “I keep telling you” she pecked his cheek, “I can look after myself” Frank shook his head, “its like she flares up every now and then to remind us not to piss her off!” the rest of them joined the giggling then, “do you think it was abit much maybe?” she asked genuinely as they resumed walking, Ray answered first, shaking his head, “Hell no” Frank chorused, Poison looked down at her, his eyes glistening, “to be honest” he mused, “you let him off lighter than we would have” Mikey nodded in agreement, “We wouldn’t have given him a chance” she bit her tongue, it had felt good to be back to a place where she could confidently defend herself, even if she did have a tendency to go overboard when she was caught up in the moment. “Where’d you learn to fight like that?” Frank burst out next, only a few seconds of silence enough to spark him off, she looked at him, her eyes glistening in the sun, he was so glad to have her back, back to them and back to normal, he could fight he pondered, but nothing like her, she was quick and confident and calm and my god she didn’t even really _need_ a gun, “ShowPony” she muttered, like she’d suddenly remembered something, “he doesn’t really ever carry his gun” she explained, they’d noticed that, his usual attire didn’t really lend itself to firearms, discrete or otherwise, “so when I first joined up with him and DD, he was pretty firm on making sure I could handle myself without one, four times a week, 8 hours a session, for around 2 years” she explained, “I’ve let it slip, since I actually do have a gun” she joked, “but when I was young I was a real firecracker” Gerard kissed her head, “You still are” he murmured, “I gotta say though” Frank continued, “it does make me feel safer” he paused, “havin’ you around” she shook her head as more laughter floated around her, and Funghoul moved on to his next topic, chattering away about next to nothing, “I’m sorry didn’t just shoot him” Poison whispered a little more seriously, “you could have been hurt” he muttered, she cut his guilt off straight away, “he wasn’t going to do anything” she assured him, “for the record, you probably could have made that shot” she teased, squeezing his hand, he giggled, relaxing again, “not worth it” he breathed, looking at her, “worth what?” she questioned, “risking you” she rolled her eyes, “I’d have ducked you know” he shrugged, happy, “You didn’t have too” she hummed in agreement, “are _you_ okay?” she pressed quietly, now they had a considerable lead, he looked down at her, his eyes watching her intently, he considered his own feelings for a few seconds, he could tell his temper was a little shorter than normal, but he also knew that’s what _always_ happened to him after any of this kind of thing, he’d been _scared,_ he didn’t think he still was, it was hard to tell when he was still so pumped up, he’d gone into fight or flight mode, it’d been a blur, but seeing her _fight_ her way out, seeing that she could _really_ defend herself made him happier, and he had _hated_ the man that had tried to take her away, so seeing her _hurt_ him, seeing her make sure he was going to be in _pain_ , had eased his own rage, he blinked at her, “for now I am” he decided, “I’m still a little buzzed, and I’ve got you here” he allowed, she nodded, loving his honesty, “I can’t promise I wont need you a little closer tonight” he muttered, “but right now?” he kissed her, she was hot and warm and _close,_ “I’m golden” she nodded a little breathless as they broke away, their pause had allowed the others to rejoin them, “Gross!” Frank teased, knocking into them gently, grinning as they looked at him disapproving, “How far out are we?” he whined, Poison shook his head, looking down at the map, “about 20 minutes if you stop talkin so much” Ray burst in, miserable and squinting at the light, “Whatever you say man” Fun Ghoul geered, continuing to hum a tune to himself as they wondered on in the right direction. 


	14. Chapter 14

“I thought you said we where _leaving_ tonight?” Mikey complained as Gerard ordered everyone to turn in for the night, they’d arrived back inside the safe house, they’d packed away their belongings, strapping tents to bags, gathering food and blankets, Poison’s patience was waning, she shook her head as a warning to the others, there was no need to push him when he was already in a fowl mood, they’d all seen him after fights before, they should know better, “ _No_ ” the red head hissed at his brother, rage plain in his tone, “ _I said_ we’ll pack up tonight” he clarified, still angry, she exhaled, stroking his arm softly, “might as well all get a goods night’s rest then” she suggested calmly, he seemed to relax under her touch, his eyes briefly flitting to hers, Mikey nodded defeated, “We move out tomorrow then?” Frank asked, his tone more cautious, suddenly Gerard slammed his hand on the counter next to them, a loud bang startling the group, “If I fuckin’ say so!” he shouted, “Hey!” she demanded, scornful, “shut that down!” she returned his volume, referring to his attitude, “How many times do I need to-” he tried to fight her, still aggressive, just, she raised her hand, “ _Shut, it, down_ ” she repeated, “You’re being a dick and you know it” she continued, her voice strict, he shook his head, about to argue, but she shot him a look, “I’m not going to fight you, you know I’m right, go and clean yourself up” she instructed, staring him down, his mouth twitched like he was going to form a rebuttal but he just grunted loudly before storming off into the bathroom and slamming the door, she shook her head, “sorry about that” she muttered at the guys, “ _but_ you should know better than to press him” she half heartedly justified, Fun Ghoul bit his lower lip, looking a bit guilty, Kobra just huffed, not even trying to explain why, “My _fuckin_ ’ head hurts” Ray whispered, changing the subject, she sighed softly walking across the room to where the man was laying across the couch, lower legs hanging over the edge, she dropped to her knees by his face, pressing a hand onto his brow again, “you’re fine” she promised, “take two more tablets, drink and sleep it off” she pushed up away from his as he nodded, Mikey appeared beside her, tablets and a water bottle in hand, he passed it to his friend, perching on the armrest by his calfs, “are you alright?” she pressed then, looking at his eyes, he gave a slight nod, “was just lookin’ forward to being out of here” she laughed a little, quietly, “We’ll move out tomorrow” she swore, she’d make sure of it, “it’s starting to stink” she teased, Frank gaze a meagre chuckle but his energy was running low, he was slouched on the bean bag, eyes drooping, the conflict with his best friend already forgotten, everyone’s tensions run high after situations like this, it wasn’t the first time a spark had blown up, “sleep” she insisted gently, rubbing the smaller mans black hair gently as she wondered into the bedroom, she could still here the water in the room beside her, she was hoping the hot water and alone time would soften his mood, she stripped down, changing into a single clean tshirt that was definitly DD’s it was four or five sizes to big and hung down to just above her knees, she treated herself to a new baby wipe for her face, promising herself a shower in the morning before she rolled onto the mattress, rubbing her legs on the fabric and really reflecting on the day they’d had, “he’ll be dead by now” she assumed as Poison pushed the door open, it creaked quietly, he blinked at her, barely making eye contact before he started fussing in his now packed bag for some underwear, the towel he’d been wrapped in, discarded on the floor, “good” he grunted, pulling on his boxers, “baby” she cooed, “stop it” he sighed, looking up at her, running a hand through his wet hair, pushing it back out of his face, it fell as random angles, he shook his head a little before walking over and joining her, “I know you’re not being an brat on purpose” she explained as he curled up beside her, breathing still jagged, “but you cant go off on them like that” she scolded, he batted his lashes now, looking up at her, before groaning in defeat, “ _I know_ ” he admitted, “I know I was an ass” she laughed a little, sending a shiver of happiness down his spine, she stroked his cheek, cupping it slightly, “good” she praised, “I’ll apologise tomorrow?” he half asked for her approval, “yes” she agreed, “you will” he nodded, pushing his face against her palm a little like a cat, “how’re you feelin’ about sleep?” she pressed, testing the waters, his eyes where hollow now, he needed rest, he pursed his lips, considering, “I think I’m still a little loaded” he said honestly, she nodded, curling up against him, not pushing him, he gripped her tight, holding her against his body, she could feel his pulse, it was fast and hard and constant, “what’s your plan?” she began, “for tomorrow?” he checked, she nodded once, he shrugged, “we could stay” he murmured, “a few more da-” she cut him off with a kiss, bringing their lips together, swallowing a moan or two from the back of his throat, “no” she purred as they broke apart, still tangled together under the sheets, “we move out” she told him, not giving him the option, he nodded then, “we move out” he agreed. He exhaled a little shakily but didn’t say anything more on the topic, she didn’t push, not wanting to provoke any negative reaction from the man, she just relaxed down into the crook of his neck, her hands tracing large circles on his chest and stomach, he made a small noise at the contact but didn’t ask her to stop, she listened to his heart pounding away and felt his chest rising and falling quickly and harshly, no wonder he couldn’t settle, his body was primed for a fight, or an escape, “here” she whispered, her hot breath a shock on his throat, she took one of his hands, moving it to her chest, he blinked down at her, not really understanding, “feel that?” she pressed, still almost inaudible, he nodded, he could feel it, her pulse slow, steady, her lungs expanding and shrinking deeply and rhythmically, “see” she soothed, “there’s no danger here” she explained, kissing him just under his ear, he took a deep breath in, holding it in his chest, deliberately waiting to expel it from his lungs, “good boy” she praised, continuing to stroke him, “If I’m not scared” she murmured, “you don’t have to be either” he nodded again, exhaling long and slow, he was trying to force his body into relaxation, he was trying so hard to be as calm as she was, he didn’t like feeling like this, angry and tense and poised for a battle, he felt frustration rise in his veins when he couldn’t make himself relax; She laughed a little then, silent but warm, her shoulders raising and falling, his hand slipped down to her waist, “Your body isn’t going to stop releasing endorphins just because _I tell it to_ , or _because you want it to_ ” she justified the way his heart was still hammering, “but your mind” she nuzzled into his skin, “you don’t have to go through this every day” he gasped at feeling of her hands on his spine now, wrapped around him, encasing him, making him warm and not allowing him to be angry, not at himself, not at the brothers his loved, not even at the man who had tried to take her from him, “ _you’re the only thing_ ” he muttered sadly, swallowing sobs that where trying to burst up, the release of emotion tempting, he felt like a pot that was boiling over, trying to keep the lid in place, she looked at him curiously, “ _feeling you”_ he continued, desperately grappling with his breathing, “I-Icant” he admitted sadly, not wanting to say that he was struggling out loud, she shook her head kindly, “y-youmakeme _letgo_ ” he explained, before blinking away tears that where stinging in his eyes, she brought one hand up and stroked his face calmly, “I’m _yours_ ” she began to promise, “ you don’t even have to _ask_ ” she kissed him again, he shivered, his body needing the contact, “just let me know” he nodded desperately, “ _mine_ ” he repeated, testing the word in his mouth, she nodded, confirming it to him, and he started to cry, quietly at first, burying his head in her t-shirt, holding himself against her, she hushed him kindly, “it’s alright” she soothed, “it’s just too much” he nodded forcefully, “it-itsalways- _itsalwaysbeentomuch_ ” he agreed, sniffing and whining, she held him tighter, “it doesn’t last long” she reminded him, the spike of high emotion after a fight usually faded in a few days, he nodded, knowing she was right, but not caring because right now it was awful, and it was overpowering and it hurt him to not be running or shouting or fucking shooting something, it went against all his instincts to not be fleeing the danger or battling it off, suddenly she was hot and stroking his hair and murmuring kind things in his ear that made him doubt his inner voice calling him weak and a failure, he was trembling now, not being able to hold everything back when he was wrapped up in her arms, her own body trying to teach his how to not be so terrified, “goodboy” she purred as he mouthed on the fabric of her clothes, mewling as his hands held his waist, trying to get closer to her even though it was impossible, he didn’t know what she meant but her voice was louder than his internal one, “you’re doing so good” she affirmed, “breath” she prompted, he did, a little more controlled as his sobs silently wracked his chest, “so good” she praised again, Poison sniffed, feeling his body settle into her, he felt sick, and tired, and drained, he could barely form a thought, just listen to her as she told him how well he was doing and how this was so much better than him just holding it in for a day or two, she reminded him how safe they where, and how she was going to be here when he woke up, and how he’d feel better when he woke up, his head was pounding now, but she kissed his brow, she kissed his arms, she kissed wherever she could reach skin, and he would have begged for more if his throat hadn’t been occupied with breathing. “You don’t have to just suffer through it” she murmured, “this wont be the last time there’s a fight” she told him quietly, “but you’re allowed to be afraid” she hummed, “You’re allowed to let it go” he believed her and felt hope, as painful as this was, being so vulnerable and exhausted, it was better than the alternative, despite his years of practice, forcing himself into dreamless sleep and having his whole body thrumming with rage and fear for days after the actual event was, and always had been too much for him, he would throw up when he was alone, he wouldn’t manage more than a few hours of sleep and he knew he was a pain in the ass to deal with, he couldn’t change the latter, especially in the initial aftermath, but once this climax of emotion had passed he could sense how his body would relax, he knew with her holding him, he would wake up tomorrow feeling _better_.


	15. Chapter 15

She woke up a few hours later than normal, she blinked, here eyes now adjusting to the bright fluorescent lighting that had clicked on, alerting her to how she had slept a little longer than usual, she stretched, hearing her joints, crack, she listened, hearing Poison’s steady breathing and the rustling of activity outside, signally the fact that the others where awake and probably preparing for their departure, she paused for a second, looking down at the man still unconscious beside her, the brightness of the room seemingly had no effect on him, he’d had a tough night she allowed, stroking his cheek softly, she thought about leaving him to rest whilst she showered but quickly reconsidered, she’d never seen him the way he was last night after a fight, usually he was up at the first hint of movement or sound, bouncing off the wall still brimming with adrenaline, she hoped the release he’d had last night would calm him down when he woke, and the way his chest was thrumming softly, his body completely placid beneath her fingers told her she might have been right, she smiled a little, before leaning down, “Gee” she soothed, her voice low, “baby, wake up” she pressed, touching his chest gently, he moved a little before finally opening his eyes, he looked up confused, before squinting away from the harsh lighting, she giggled kindly, “We overslept” she noted as he pulled himself up, her hand remained on his skin, he thought about her words for a second, his brain still fogged from sleep, he clenched his fist and relaxed it, realising how heavy his body felt, he was still _exhausted_ , she took his hand in hers, bringing it to her lips and planting a light kiss on the skin, he grinned then, a reflex, “How do you feel?” she questioned, genuinely wondering, he pursed his lips, “tired” he muttered, “but” he stopped to think again, his body wasn’t painful like he’d been expecting, he didn’t feel the urge to move straight away, he didn’t feel on edge at all he realised, “calm” he decided finally, she let out a light laugh at the look of disbelief on his face, she kissed his lips, slowly, before pulling away, “ _I told you_ ” she tried not to sound smug, “it’s better this way” he nodded eagerly, wrapping his arms around her, pulling her on top of him, “much better” he agreed as she smirked down at him, he ran his hands up her waist softly, feeling her soft skin, she had her palms down on his collar bones, they where hot against him, “you _still_ owe the boys an apology” she reminded him, he sighed, “I know” he agreed, “why did you wake me?” he asked then, not angry, but she _never_ usually woke him up, “I need to shower before we leave” she told him, “everyone’s already up” he nodded understanding, grateful that she hadn’t chanced leaving him to wake without her, “thankyou” he murmured, she shook her head, “do you need one?” she pressed, looking in the direction of the shower room, he refused, reminding her of the one he took last night, she allowed that, “you can eat whilst I’m gone” she suggested as she stood, he looked disappointed as she stopped straddling him, she giggled at that, grabbing her clean clothes, blue jeans this time, a white vest, he didn’t acknowledge her request for him to eat so she turned to look at him, “please” she said, her tone more seriously, “eat” he sighed, but nodded, “I will” he promised, she took that as a victory and opened the door, all three men looked at her, seemingly shocked she was awake, “I’m gonna clean up” she told them as she had her hand on the door to the bathroom, “Poison’ll be out in a minute” she continued turning away, “oh joy” Frank muttered, she rolled her eyes, “he’s actually in a pretty good mood” she joked, smug, as she closed the door behind her and enjoyed her shower in peace. She lingered there long than she probably should have done, and hoped that everyone who intended on using hot water that morning had already done so, but her muscles liked it, they needed to be under the warm stream, she was the cleanest she’d been in months when she finally stepped into her towel, drying herself thoroughly before dressing herself, she pulled her hair back and looked at her face, she looked _human,_ her skin had healed, a tiny pinprick above her mouth barely noticeable and her eyes where well rested, she saw her reflection grin, before turning away and opening the door, the non humid air surrounding her, she inhaled, her lungs inflating fully, a luxury she doubted she’d ever take for granted again, she looked around, Mikey was sitting on his bag, clean and sunglasses already on, Ray was chatting to Frank on the bottom step, bags already in the car she guessed, and Gerard was holding a bowl to his chest, “you look good” Frank chirped as she walked past him to look at what Poison had eaten, “don’t sound surprised” she replied with mock hurt in her voice, she grazed the mans arm, he smiled down at her, tilting the half empty container for her approval, she nodded, slightly, wrapping her arm behind him, happy with his efforts, half a tin of power pup was a decent meal, “I can look quite nice when I’ve not just finished being tortured” she teased, Gerard tensed a little at her joke, but Frank raised his hands in surrender, laughing, “I was just sayin’” she shook her head calmly, “did he apologise?” she jibed, nodding at the man at her side, “He did” Mikey complimented, “and he hasn’t screamed at us yet” Ray muttered, Poison grinned, “There’s still time” he teased, dumping the bowl on the counter, “Let’s roll” he announced, “Where’s my bag?” she asked looking around, “already loaded” he muttered, the rest of the men already leaving, the one bag Mikey had been sat on now hiked on his shoulders, “You where gone a while” he mused taking her hand, she nodded, “wanted to make the best of it” she told him truthfully, he didn’t reply, just lead her out into the desert, only releasing her hand to allow her to sit in the front seat of the car, Gerard fussed around with the exit of the safe-house, “here” Frank’s voice came over her shoulder, she turned and he handed her, her gun and jacket, she held the metal object in her hands, the turquoise paint was chipping off but it was hers, she smiled at it, attaching it to her belt, before hiking herself up sitting on her jacket, “Thank you” she replied absentmindedly, she looked up when she heard revving, Kobra waved from his bike, his new black helmet shining, covering his face, she waved back and Poison slapped his back before he turned to walk way as his brother’s transport kicked up dust, once Gerard was in the car, he made sure all the windows where down, the playlist was on over the radio before he started to drive, she didn’t know where they where going and in that moment she didn’t really care, there was no need to ask as they trundled on, the red vastness of the landscape moving quickly beneath them, he dropped his hand to her thigh at some point, probably when they where cruising and the gear was stable, she looked at him, sunglasses on and red hair glimmering and couldn’t help but smile, he met her eyes, and suddenly a frown tugged at his lips, “i’m sorry” he muttered, she looked confused, “what for?” she pressed, holding his hand now, he looked at her longer, “I forgot” he continued, his voice quiet, she was still confused, no idea of what he was trying to apologise for, “you told me to remind you” he pressed, “Show Pony” he finished, when he realised she genuinely had no idea what he was talking about, “Oh” she breathed, “I forgot too” she told him honestly, he relaxed then, and he allowed a grin to return to his face, “tonight?” he suggested kindly, she nodded, “I’m sure he’s fine” she laughed, “I just want to check in on them” the red head nodded, understanding, “where are we headed anyway dude?” Frank piped up, more confident that the older man wasn’t going to bite his head off, he merely shrugged in response, “told Kid to head West, figured we could start that way, see if there are any camps around for that uh” he paused trying to remember the word, “morale?” she suggested, he nodded, “Morale thing DD suggested, not sure when we should start heading back towards DD” she shrugged as he looked at her for approval, “As long as him and Pony are doing good there’s no need to hurry back” she confirmed, he looked relieved at that, “cool” Frank settled back down in his seat, they drove a couple more hours in silence before the radio between her and Poison spat to life, she grabbed it so he could continue driving, “Sup?” Mikey’s voice introduced when she clicked it on, “Password?” she requested, not really caring for the formalities now but humouring it, “Jazzhands” he replied sounding as bored as she was, “Kid” Ray shouted from the backseat, partly to clarify and partly as a greeting, he laughed down the line, “don’t call me that” he continued to chuckle, “I get to call you that” she butt in kindly, Gerard hummed next to her, “me too” he agreed quietly, “ _anyway_ ” Mikey coughed, she grinned picturing him blushing like Poison did when she teased him, “I found a pretty sweet spot” he began, Poison looked down at the black box briefly, “it’s close to the other campsites but far out enough to keep to our selves, good coverage from some rocks, a little water _thing-”_ she sighed, “ _Water thing?_ ” she teased, “fuckin’ small lake, thing” he replied, “anyway it’s about a mile down, it’ll do for a few days” when Gerard looked over at her, pursing his lips she nodded in approval, “Sounds good bro” he decided, “drop the coordinates and we’ll hike up” Frank and Ray highfived in the back as Mikey rattled off numbers that she ignored before saying goodbye and clicking the line off, “Did’you get that Ghoul?” Poison pressed, “Sure” Frank replied, “3 west by 2 north” he passed the map forwards, there was a red circled area, Gerard looked at it for a few seconds before turning slightly, “give it an hour” he announced happily, flooring the glass peddle, “Is there anything to eat?” Ray questioned as they continued on their journey, Gerard smiled widely, the wind blowing his hair back from his face, “Not yet” he chuckled, “Mikes’ took the food bag on the bike” he explained, “Motor?” Jet called joking dripping from his tone, “Tell him you’re hungry and he’ll make a pit stop” Frank jostled with him the back seat as she shook her head, “ _I’m hungry_ ” she mocked whined, he laughed beside her, “tough” he muttered lovingly, rubbing her thigh, the boys behind them continued to joke until the car rolled to a stop, Mikey had described the location pretty accurately, the clearing was surrounded on three sides by natural jagged boulders, he’d already set to work building a campfire, it was small but surrounded by more rocks, “good idea” she complimented as she strolled towards him, Poison had still refused to let her carry anything, so she just watched as the men started unloading the tents, they had 3 between them, she saw Gerard hoisting the yellow one that they shared, JetStar was the only other person to have his own, it was dark blue and smaller, he was already nearly done arranging it as she offered to help Frank and Mikey with theres, they refused politely, fumbling themselves with their shared red shell, it was the easiest part she mused, they were all hammering away trying to get it over with, “Let me do _something_ ” she whined, coming up behind Gerard putting a hand on his spine, he looked up, batting his long lashes at her, she pushed his hair back out of his face, “It’s done” he assured her, she looked down and saw he was right, “sleeping bags?” she asked, he nodded to a big black carry all to their left, she walked over bringing their two individual sacks, and some extra blankets, he was stood next to the open shell now, so she stuffed the material inside and allowed him to reseal it, he held her hand, she sighed happily, “You’re going to have to let me do some work at some point you know” she joked, he nodded, “not today” she shook her head but let it go, she saw Ray arranging their icebox by the fire and Mikey and Frank walking towards some larger logs that where a few metres out, they dragged them over before stopping to admire their work, bags now in their corresponding tents, make shift benches, a cooler with the remains of their food inside and a tiny box top radio with the latter part of the afternoon playlist rattling through its speakers. “Now” Gerard nodded at Ray, “you can eat” he clarified as the older man looked at him curiously, he raised an eyebrow but headed to the icebox, “you too” he whispered at her, she shook her head, “I’m fine” he hummed in response as she pulled away to sit on one of the logs by the fire, his eyes followed her, unsure if he should push it, he shook it off eventually, and decided to join her, folding his arm somewhat protectively around her waist, she leaned back into his touch, laughing and joking with the other men, a few hours went by before she insisted he ate something, she agreed to eat in return, it didn’t seem like such a struggle when she was with him, urging him on and reminding him to do so, he didn’t really understand why it was a _struggle at all,_ but he shook that off, not needing to understand, it was warm, and soft and free compared to the bunker they’d been in, a few birds flew over head and the boys played their guitars, “should we ride out to the other camps?” Frank asked finally, Gerard shook his head, grinning, “tomorrow” he instructed, the young man seemed thrilled with that, lounging back in the sand and smiling wide, she could almost fall asleep she mused, wondering why she was _still_ tired, she felt otherwise well, she shook it off, sitting a little straighter and drinking some cold water, the shock waking her slightly, Poison looked at her concerned, she forced a smile, “what’s wrong?” he whispered, genuinely worried, she shook her head, looking up as reassuring as she could make it, “nothing” she promised, his expression didn’t shift, “I’m just tired” she admitted, “I promise” he hummed, stroking her back, “then sleep?” he suggested meekly, she chuckled softly, “not yet” she sounded stubborn, like she was going to force her body to do what she wanted, the boys where looking at them a little suspiciously but she could tell they wouldn’t say anything, she settled down into Poison’s embrace and listened to the music and chatter around her.


	16. Chapter 16

A few hours passed until the sky started to dim, Mikey lit the fire and Poison forced her to eat again, so she returned the favour, insisting he heat up some proper soup for them _all._ She felt herself yawn big, and loud as she warmed her hands on the flames, she heard laughter behind her, she turned to see Gerard watching her, clearly amused, “Bed?” he suggested again, she pursed her lips considering it, the warmth of the sealed tent and sleeping bag _was_ inviting- “what time is it?” she pressed, Kobra looked at his radio, before smirking, “7” he answered bluntly, she heard Frank and Ray swallow a giggle, “ _not yet_ ” she muttered, feeling petulant, Gerard sighed behind her but didn’t say anything as she continued to huddle by the fire pit, “why don’t you call Pony?” he asked her, already handing her the radio, he nodded towards the tent, she took it from his hands, “thank you” she replied, kissing him as she went to the relative privacy of their plastic shell. The box crackled to life in her hands as she dialled DD’s tone, it didn’t take long for Dr Deaths voice to come in, “Password?” he demanded, “This whole routine”- she waved her hands around even though he couldn’t see her, “is fuckin dumb” she complained, “it makes no sense and nobody even remembers who’s meant to ask who” he sighed loudly, “girl, what’s your password?” he sounded short tempered, more short tempered than usual she mused, “Jazzhands” she relented, considering asking what the matter with him was, but she decided he wouldnt tell her anyway, “Pony there?” she asked instead, she heard rattling and some muffled voices before he finally answered her, “Here” he muttered, he didn’t sound right, she felt herself squint, “Pony?” she clarified, “that’s me” his voice answered, definitely his voice, just a little, flatter than normal, “What’s up?” she pressed instantly, “Nothin’” he replied not missing a beat, “Is it DD?” she continued to pry, “Nothin’s the matter Motor” he repeated, she didn’t buy it, “for what do I owe the pleasure?” he asked then, his tone attempting sarcastic but sounding more disinterested, “I was worried about you” she told him honestly, “I miss you” she added, she heard a sigh and some more shuffling, “I’m good” he muttered, “miss you too” he promised, emotion tainting his voice for the first time in this interaction, “I’ll swing by soon” she assured him, “no rush” he replied, she shook her head, “want me to clear the line?” she offered, “might be a good idea” he agreed, sounding a little upset, or guilty it was hard to tell, before she could think more on it he clicked the line off, leaving the static ringing out, “well that’s made me feel worse” she noted aloud to herself. “maybe you should just get some sleep” Poison’s voice suddenly said, he was crawling into the tent beside her, dragging the cooling air in with him, she reached for his face, stroking his hair back from his eyes, “maybe” she agreed, he kissed at her palm, “please?” he requested, throwing a blanket up over her legs, “let _me_ look after _you_ ” he murmured, “will you promise to sleep too?” she pressed, already pulling her lower body into the sleeping bag, he nodded, “in a few hours” he altered, she hummed, accepting that, he tucked her in, planting a kiss on her brow, and then another on her lips, “thank you” he whispered, “is Pony okay?” he asked as an after thought, his body already half outside again, she felt her face frown, “I’m not sure” she answered honestly, “he says he is” she allowed, “but I don’t think I buy it” he blinked at her, just looking at her face, drinking in her features, “call again tomorrow” he said, more of a request than a suggestion, she nodded, closing her eyes, “I will” she agreed, “after we go out to the camps” she heard a laugh and then she heard him zip it up, sealing her inside to sleep.

 

She woke up before everyone else the next morning, due in part to her ridiculously early night, she could see that the sun wasn’t completely done rising, the light was still dim outside the tent and the air smelt cold, she smiled when she looked down and saw Poison pressed against her, she stroked his face kindly, pleasantly surprised that he seemed to be in a pretty deep sleep, she shifted, not wanting to just sit in the plastic casing anymore, she unzipped it and crawled out into the desert, she stood, shaking her hair out and stretching, she crossed to where the fire was dying, she prodded it with a stick that had been left next to it, grabbing a lighter from her pocket and trying to force new life out into the embers, it took a few minutes but it gradually began to respond, heating up, she perched herself down beside it, enjoying the silence, she tried Pony again via her radio but after 5 minutes of rattling static she let it go, turning the dial off and pushing it to the back of her mind, it didn’t take long for the others to rise, Poison emerged first, he looked a little concerned for a second as his head broke through the tent, but she smiled calmly, which he seemed to like as he walked over to her side, “sleep well?” he asked, wrapping an arm around her shoulder, she nodded, stretching her arms out, “You?” she looked up at his face, he looked well rested, a little pale maybe but nothing like what he’d been a few weeks before, he assured her he had and the other men woke and gathered around the fire, teasing her for her early turn in the night before, “We should get going soon” Poison muttered after about an hour,Frank laughed loudly, “You sound stoked” he taunted, she hummed in agreement, “it’s fuckin boring” Mikey allowed, “we go, make awkward conversation then repeat it at the next camp” Ray nodded and Gerard chuckled, “I’m sorry I won’t be there” she joked, Gerard instantly tensed beside her, his eyes locking on hers, shocked. “why does she get out of it?” Frank whined, she was just starting to realise that Gerard had assumed she’d be going, she rubbed his thigh with the hand he hadn’t grasped, “I thought we where keeping a low profile” she soothed, “about me being with you guys full time” Ray nodded thoughtfully, “ _and,_ it’s not me they want to see” she added, he nodded stiffly, understanding, the more people who knew she was one of their group the more likely B/L where to want her back, and the last time a stranger recognised her he’d tried to sell her on, maybe parading her around like a prize horse wasn’t the best idea, but the thought of her alone sitting by the fire made his stomach tighten, he didn’t know why he was reacting like this, especially when he knew it was for the best, but he felt his heart start to race, “I’ll be alright” she murmmured, the other men had noticed Poison having a hard time so they’d gone to prepare themselves to head out, giving them what little privacy they could, he nodded again, his eyes still glazed over, “I know” he coughed, “Iknow-you’ll be alright” she kissed his cheek, reaching up and holding his cheeks, he blinked at her, his chest rising and falling quickly, “breath” she reminded him, “slowly” she clarified, he nodded again, trying to do what he was told, she smiled, still stroking his face, he blinked away tears, desperately trying to reign himself in, no idea of why his body was overreacting like this, he knew she could look after herself, she was healed up, it was a camp they’d picked on purpose, “I can come if you want” she soothed, seeing how much he was struggling, he shook his head, “not safe” he grunted, sitting up a little straighter, she smiled sympathetically, “neither is you panicking like this all day” she countered, looking over to where Mikey was watching, concerned from the rocks, she shot him a reassuring glance, Gerard seemed to have settled his breathing, “You could hang out in the car?” he requested quietly, embarrassed to have asked, she nodded, “you’re the boss” she assured him, “i’m so-” he went to apologise, she cut him off with a kiss, “It’s fine” she promised, standing and pulling him up with her, “Looks like I’m tagging along” she announced, there were some curious looks exchanged but nobody dared raise any concerns as she wondered towards the car, Poison had split off to grab a bag, but they loaded into the car, she took a seat in the back, Frank and Ray next to her, Mikey hopped into the drivers seat leaving his older brother shot gun, “ready to roll?” he asked, everyone nodded and Gerard mumbled something about which area to head to first, the radio filled any awkward silence that could have blossomed, and it seemed to lighten Gerard’s mood, within around 10 minutes of being on the road he looked like he was back to being genuinely happy, laughing with Kid up front, she didn’t particularly relish the idea of being locked in a transom for the better part of the day, but it was better than the alternative of her wondering around a camp constantly being checked on by a panic ridden Party Poison, the others seemed to understand this too, as not only did they not question her joining them, they didn’t spend any more time whining about the activity at hand. The first four camps where very close together, they formed almost a community of KillJoy’s, although she did notice that they all seemed to be men, even from the back of the car she could hear the excitement their visit had caused, a distraction from the monotony of everyday life, and a break from the hardships that camping and running from the law provided, she didn’t mind that she wasn’t out there, highfiving and making old jokes, spewing out a few inspirational lines, the car had air conditioning and the playlist was on, she sprawled out and was only disturbed when they had to move on, by the time they where heading round to the last few settlements the sun was high in the sky and roasting, and she was the only one not dripping in sweat, “Scooch!” Ray demmanded, throwing her his leather jacket and pushing her legs out of the way so he could slide in beside her, she chuckled quietly but relented, sitting upright and passing him a bottle of water, she reached down and past one forward to Gerard and Mikey once they where in the car too. “They where cool” Frank decided as they trundled away, “they where pawing at me for like 20 minutes!” Ray complained, Gerard shook his head, looking back in the rear view mirror, “Just checking you’re alive” Mikey teased, looking over his shoulder, “Well there’s not much to say!” he countered, “They just want to see Poison lookin’ like he knows what’s goin’ on” he mocked, “the rest of us are set dressing” everyone laughed, and gulped through at least five water bottles between them, “are you alright?” Gerard asked once they pulled up again, the other guys had gone ahead to announce their arrival leaving them alone in the veical, she nodded, leaning forward, “just bored” she mumbled honestly, he laughed, turning to face her, pushing her hair out of her eyes “I’m s-” he started, she raised her hand to cut him off, “it’s fine” she promised him with a kiss, “go make sure you look like you know what’s going on” he nodded, biting back a whine, he didn’t want to leave her and schmooze with these people, he wanted to be with her in that moment, more than anything in the world, but he did what he was told and went to join his band, smile plastered across his face. 


	17. Chapter 17

She must have drifted off to sleep, more out of lack of amusement than actually tiredness, but still, sleep none the less because she eventually was woken by Gerard opening the back door and smirking down at her, “sup?” she yawned, adjusting herself up onto her elbows, noticing he was alone so they clearly weren’t moving on or calling it a day, “one of their guys” he started, guilt covering his tone, “one of their guys is sick” he finished, “they don’t know if it’s serious or-” she shook her head moving to stand beside him, her body aching from the sudden change in position, “you want me to come check him out” she stated, not bothering to ask because he had already taken her hand in his, “sorry” he muttered, “I didn’t want to-” she shook her head, “It’s fine” he laughed, “it’s hot” he complained, she nodded, squinting as the camp came into view, she was glad her jacket had been demoted to pillow in the car, her vest was almost too much fabric, they’d picked a good place to set up though, she allowed, there was a large enough pond, surrounded by tents and fires, maybe five of each, in a circle, they were pretty well protected from approach on either side, the crowd that had recently come into view approached them, “This is Motor Baby” Frank introduced, before looking at Gerard for approval, not sure of how else to describe her and settle their curiosity about the stranger that was hand in hand with the man they proclaimed their leader, “she’s who you want for anything medical” Gerard decided, releasing her gently, she raised a hand, “someone’s sick?” she pressed, awkward silence creeping in around them, “Vanish” an older man replied, “he came down with it a few days ago, wont move now, just sleeps and pukes” she nodded, tempted to mutter a _helpful_ as she began to list everything it could possibly be from food poisoning to sepsis, he gestured to the left and lead her towards a red tent, he unzipped it revealing the man inside, curled up, puke surrounding his head, her guide reached in and cleared the bags of vomit away, she crawled inside with him and pressed a hand to his brow, he was hot, too hot, and he opened his eyes a little at her touch, he panicked a little, trying to move away but he curled up in pain, “It’s ok” she breathed, “I’m here to help” she promised, stroking his arm calmly, a reflex to try and settle him, “My name’s motor baby” she soothed, “Vanish right?” she asked, he blinked at her but nodded a little, “I’m here with Party Poison” she assured him, thinking a name he might recognise would calm him, and since the person who’d lead her to him and disappeared it was the best she had, “You’re sick” she said, he didn’t respond, “You’ve got a fever, getting out of this tent would be a good idea” she spoke to him, not getting a response, but trying to use what she could see to limit the possibilities of what could be wrong with him, “It’s painful to move?” she asked, remembering his earlier attempt at escape, he nodded once, she approached him a little more, “Show me where?” she asked, his hand was curled protectively over his gut, he just looked at her then back down to the ground, she placed a hand over his, his whole body tensed in response, although it was hard to tell wether that was a reflex from the pain, or a distrust of strangers. “Please” she soothed, moving his hand out of the way, “I’m just trying to see if there’s anything I can do” he blinked at her but relented, probably too weak to put up much of a fight, allowing his hand to fall to his side, his fist clenched and red, she smiled reassuringly and applied gently pressure, trying to feel any sign of inflammation beneath the skin and muscle, as soon as she moved her hand over his stomach, she noticed it was hard, harder than it should have been, and he winced almost instantly, she applied a little pressure which caused the man to wretch and grab her hand, she nodded, definitely a stomach issue, “Have you been eating anything unusual?” she probed, her hand on his brow again, he shook his head meekly, “and you’ve been boiling any drinking water before consuming?” she clarified, he looked unsure at that, before finally shaking his head, “ahh” she breathed, “I think, you’ve got a bacterial infection from dirty water” she mused, “did it come on suddenly?” she checked, he nodded again, eyeing her a little more seriously, “you’ve been drinking from that pond?” she continued, he grunted in agreement, “You need to stop” she decided, “I’ll tell the others too, make sure you boil all water and let it cool before drinking it, or you can find Better living steri-tabs, which you dissolve to clean it” he pursed his lips, obviously frightened about her diagnosis, “If we make sure you’re only drinking clean stuff, and plenty of it, it should clear up in a day or too” she assured him, he settled at that so she turned around and left, heading out into the sun, she blinked to adjust her eyes, and looked over to where she could see Gerard huddled with the campers, FunGhoul, Kobra and Ray where off to the side chatting to some outliers, “He’ll be alright” she confirmed, coming to a halt beside the redhaired man, who’s hand twitched anxiously as he tried not to grab hers, “you need to sterilise your drinking water” she said calmly, “Boil it and cool it or find or buy those tablets from BLI” she instructed, “it looks like a bacterial reaction to that, he’ll be alright as long as he gets plenty of clean fluids” They nodded appreciatively and some of them headed to the fire with bowls of new water, “We don’t do that every time do we?” Frank asked, suddenly sounding alarmed, she let out a small laugh, “ _You_ don’t” she corrected, “I do” even Gerard blinked at her then, realising the little things she does without thinking to keep them safe, “all your bottles have filters that I replace every 2 months” she added, smirking at the realisation on his face, “and I boil big pots when ever I can” Gerard beamed down at her and FunGhoul seemed noticeably less disgusted, “that means we-” he began, she laughed, “don’t have to do anything if its going straight into your bottles” she assured him, he looked physically relieved at that, “You can buy filters” she addressed the other men who’d been watching their exchange silently, “but they’re harder to find now” she admitted, they nodded and eyed her and Poison a little curiously, probably because of the way he was staring at her, she almost shook her head, _subtle,_ she thought. He seemed to snap out a daze as Mikey approached, slapping a hand on his shoulder, “It’s hot man” he announced, causing a large majority of the people to roll their eyes, she bit her lip, not wanting to embarrass him by making a smart remark. “We’re gonna go swimming” he finished, looking over to Ray and a few others by the lake, “you in?” he asked, “is it, like safe?” Fun Ghoul muttered, looking at her, not the others for reassurance, she laughed louder then, already pulling her vest over her head and undoing her jeans, “Yes Frankie” she teased, “I promise it’s safe” he nodded before going over with Ray to get ready, Gerard was already just in his underwear by the time she noticed everyone staring at her, well, everyone other than Mikey and Ray, skinny dipping was a pretty regular thing, in the middle of the desert when it’s too hot to really breath the air, she realised that she was stood, naked infront of around 20 strangers and 4 close friends and she was the only women, if she’d have been the modest type she might have even blushed, but she ignored the eyes on her and headed towards the two of them that weren’t just watching her every move, edging into the water until it covered her body, “You’ve got some admirers” Mikey teased as she ducked under the water, wetting her hair, feeling the shock of cold on the top of her head, she popped back up inhaling deeply, looking around, relieved to see only a few of the strangers where still watching her closely, “she’s got tits” Frank replied, like it was the answer to all things, she couldn’t help but snort, “so do some men” he raised his brow and hands in defence “just sayin’” he justified, “been a while since most of them will have seen a girl” she just rolled her eyes, “Lucky Poison isn’t the jealous type” Ray inserted, ignoring the way she was trying to let the conversation die, Mikey made an odd face like he was about to disagree, but then, there was a loud noise behind her so she spun, just in time to see Gerard push one of the men straight in the chest, “Hey!” she yelled, unable not to snap out of any professional facade, “What the fuck?” she grabbed Gerard's arm, the man vibrating with rage, his brothers had appeared by her side, and where also circling him, watching warily, unsure of what had sparked this confrontation off, “Apologise” Poison snarled, almost ignoring her completely, the stranger merely laughed, “all I said is we should pass her round a little” he raised his brow at her almost a challenge, “don’t know why you care so much, you’d get a turn aswell!” he half mocked, which was probably a mistake as out of seemingly nowhere a fist collided with his jaw, she blinked, half expecting to see Poison lunging, but instead seeing him being held back by Ray and Frank, and Mikey with his arm extended, “My brother told you to apologise” the younger Way hissed, she was shocked at that, Kobra was usually the last person to loose his cool, especially in front of an audience, “ _Kid_ ” she soothed, trying to warn him not to do or say anything he’d regret, when suddenly a hand was on her breast, the man now with a bloody nose looked almost drunk as he leaned towards her, without even thinking she grabbed his wrist and snapped it back, hearing it crack, his scream was so loud, any arguments or words of calm where instantly stopped and by the time she released him, allowing him to cradle his broken hand to his chest, there were guns drawn on both sides by a few people who had made it back to their clothes, when she took a deep breath and clearly examined the situation she saw it was only her, Gerard, Mikey and the wounded party still in the water, the rest was a mixture of shouting figures and aimed fire arms, “you’d think yall’ had never seen a girl before” Frank was mocking, a few others where just in shock, including Mikey, who she noticed was shaking like a leaf, “I’m fine” she whispered in the blonde man’s ear, “go get the car” she instructed firmly, he did as she said, running to his clothes and disappearing, the others that might have targetted him distracted by the far off argument, Gerard was still spewing threats, and a few where calling for her to be punished for hurting their man, “if he’d kept his hands to himself” she said calmly, “he’d still have both his hands in working order” Frank laughed, bouncing on the spot, Ray was just watching for anyone who might have taken the shot at the smaller man, Gerard was mumbling now, barely audible, “Stop” she told him firmly, standing on a higher ground, her breasts visible first, then her naval, he followed her protectively, “I’m fine” she promised again, he nodded, “who the fuck is she anyway” someone shouted, “A friend” she replied before Gerard could, she was stepping back into her clothes ignoring the guns pointed at her, Poison appeared at her side, sloppily clothes and hair dripping, he had his weapon drawn, “and because I’m a friend I’m going to tell you to splint his wrist to keep it straight and still for four weeks” an enraged man approached her then, gun high, “that’s my brother” he growled, she nodded, “he shouldn’t have touched me” she noted, he blinked at her, probably frustrated at her lack of reaction, Gerard was handling that side of things she thought, he’d given up any pretence and had the arm he wasn’t using to aim his gun wrapped tightly around her waist. She considered shaking it off, but couldn’t bring herself to do it, “I could shoot you” The older stranger warned, although his tone made it clear to her that he wasn’t going to do anything of the sort, “you could try” she jested back, using her hand to lower Gerard’s gun, “Nobodies shooting anyone” she moaned, rolling her eyes, “his hand will be _fine_ ” she continued, seeing the mans face relax a tad now he was the only one of the three aiming his weapon, “Easy for you to say!” a familiar voice yelled, she tried not to let her grimace show too plainly as the man who’s wrist she’d snapped limped towards her, Frank and Ray clicked their weapons as a warning, she shot them a glare, she raised her hands, “you touched me” she said calmly, he was still vibrating with rage so she looked at Poison reassuringly, “You’d think you’d be grateful for the attention!” he spat, she swallowed bile, where was Mikey with the damn car, “ _oh give it up_ ” she complained before Gerard had time to overreact, “Just get yourself a girlfriend”she heard Frank laugh at her comment, the older brother stepped forward, inches away from her face, she quickly ran through manoeuvres she could make if he lunged, she had both hands, legs at a good angle, she could take him down easy enough, but that would end in a fire fight and she was trying everything she could to not let it come to that, the mans breath was hot and dry on her face, “We don’t waste time on things like that” he muttered, she stood straight in response, “then what _do_ you do?” she replied, he was visibly enraged, she felt the ground start to rumble, “ _finally”_ she mumbled, Gerard looked at her curiously, she caught Frank’s eye, then JetStar’s urging them to notice, they seemed to as they kept their guns high, but walked backwards towards her, “sorry to cut this short boys” she smirked, ignoring the ramblings of the furious men infront of her, “but we’ve gotta keep running and all that” Gerard had eased beside her now the engine of their car was loud, “We’re not done here!” one of the men shouted, she laughed, watching from the corner of her eye as Poison, Funghoul and Jetstar loaded themselves into the back of the car, she watched for a moment, making sure her timing was good before she moved, kicking the bigger of the two assailants in the chest sending him stumbling into his wounded brother, both of them tripping and falling into the larger group behind them, she moved quickly, flinging herself back into the open passenger side door, “I am” she replied, saluting as the they sped off, the other three of her boys bundled together in the rear, bullets flashed past them as Mikey swerved the car and sped away, she leaned out of the window and made a vain attempt at returning fire, not trying to hurt anyone in particular just limit their ability to hit their target and slow their departure, a few minutes later they’d kicked up a trail of dust and where safely out of range, “Fuck me” Mikey moaned, running his fingers through his hair as she strapped herself into her seat, “Everyone good?!” she asked loudly, “Yeah” Poison answered, “I’m good” JetStar echoed, “Me too” Frank finished, “Kid?” she asked quietly, he nodded, “all clear” he replied after a breath, “perfect” she soothed, wiping her hands on her jeans, “Can’t take you anywhere” Frank teased, leaning over her shoulder, she shook her head and gave a meagre chuckle, “told you to leave me in the car” she muttered, she caught Poison’s eye in the mirror and gave him a large smile to let him know she was joking and there was no need for any guilt on his part, “We should let DD know” she decided after another brief silence, “incase anything flares up” she explained, The car was still speeding across the vast expanse of sand, she saw Mikey’s hand shaking as he went to change gear, she placed her’s over his, a reflex to try and calm him, “we’re good” she whispered, “you did good” she assured him, he blinked at her and she was sure she’d seen a tear on his cheek, but before she could investigate further Frank was handing her the radio, a confused look on his face, it wasn’t static, it was shouting, so loud the speaker was cracking, “DD?!” She asked loudly, “fuck sake” she groaned, noticing Pony’s tone and assuming he was arguing with the older man, “Pony?!” she yelled now, patience failing, “You’ve got a fuckin’ call!” she demanded, there was silence then, before a cough, “Motor?” a gruff familiar voice answered, “About damn time” she responded, annoyed, firstly with how they’d pretended nothing was going on when she first called when clearly this proved something wasn’t right, and partly because she knew he wasn’t going to be honest if she asked him what was happening now, “Sorry” he sighed, taking her back, she blinked at the men behind her, they looked as shocked as she must have done, “what’s going on?” she pressed, lowering her tone now, bringing her knees up to her chest, “you have to come tag Pony out” he admitted, his voice low, “he’s not doing good, figure he needs to get away” she looked up into the mirror, Poison was almost panic stricken, staring back wide eyed and not blinking, probably knowing that meant she’d be the one to go back and relieve the younger man of his duties, she shook her head softly, she wouldn’t leave him, especially not after everything that’s happened so recently, he seemed to understand, “tell him to drive up to us!” Frank enthused, not understanding, “we can’t leave you without anyone” she exhaled down the phone, hugging her knees a little, “I know that girl” he soothed, “he say’s he’s fine” he allowed, “but I reckon he needs a few days at least” she nodded, understanding, “Tell him to drive down to us and i’ll bring your car back up and stay a few days” Ray said suddenly, calm and a smile on his face, she blinked at him, mouthing _‘are you sure?_ ’ he nodded, “I’ll take the bed, cant hurt to help out with the playlist a little too” he replied, someone exhaled down the line, “thank you” Dr Death spoke clearly, “we’ll drop you coordinates” she promised, relieved that a plan was in place, “why’d you call?” he suddenly asked, “all okay?” he checked when she didn’t reply straight away, she laughed a little at the sudden urgency in his voice, “yeah” she answered, “got into a fight with a group of KillJoys round where we’re at, thought we should let you know incase anything comes of it later on” she explained, she heard him hum thoughtfully, “who drew first?” he pressed, “me” Mikey inserted, “did they deserve it?” he continued, “yeah” she answered quietly, “casualties?” he coughed, clearly interested in the details but trusting her enough not to need them, “no-one ghosted, no-one on our side injured” she confirmed, he laughed a little more truly then, “bet that was good for morale” he jested, “ _I_ wasn’t meant to be inspiring any morale” she countered, she could picture him shaking his head, “i’ll make an announcement about peace” he said “let me know if there’s any trouble” she smiled, relaxed at that, “I will do” she assured him, “Frankie’s gonna give you the co-ordinates for Pony” she told him, “if you need me, radio” she reminded him kindly, “always lookin’ after your old man huh?” he exhaled, “both you and Pony are too good to me sometimes” she huffed another laugh, “only because you’ve got running water” she teased, lightening the mood, “I’ll see you soon girl” he promised, she nodded even though he couldn’t see her, before she passed the handset back behind her, and listened as Frank rattled off directions, explaining it was about a 6 hour ride out from his place to their camp, she took the opportunity to direct her attention back to Mikey, the younger Way was still pressing his foot down flat to metal of the car, throwing it forward at an unhappy speed, “you can stop that” she murmured, placing her hand on his again, he looked shocked at her, like he’d woken from a dream, she nodded down to the gas meter, he exhaled, releasing the pressure a little letting the car drift at a more comfortable pace, “circle back to camp Kid” she instructed kindly, “go the long way” she added seeing how anxious he looked at the idea, “we’re not being followed” Poison cut in, reassuring his brother along side her, Mikey reached down for his sunglasses pulling them on and nodding at her, she still felt strangely protective in that moment, Mikey hated this sort of thing, she wondered why he’d snapped like that, she’d try and chat with him later, he looked like he needed it she mused, “all good” Frank muttered, clicking the radio back off to silence, “ _good_ ” she tested the word, she wasn’t sure it was the right one, “it’ll be nice to have Pony around” he continued, a little louder than he needed to be, she nodded, that was true, although she had a hunch she’d be training an awful lot, when Show Pony got anxious he liked to fight, to make sure they could all fight _well,_ and his standard of well was a little extreme. “Sup?” Ray asked, noticing how she didn’t seem as enthusiastic as he’d expect to have her brother around, “ya’ll haven’t ever had Pony to stay when he’s in one of his moods, have you?” she checked, Gerard pursed his lips as a few of the others shook their heads, she laughed a little, “I’ll be training a lot for the next few days, and so will you if you don’t stay far enough away to not get roped in” she warned, “I did promise” she allowed, meeting Gerard’s eyes again, “what’s wrong with that?” Ray asked, genuinely curious, “there’s a reason I’m so good” she muttered, “he’s a little… unconventional” she decided on the last word, not knowing how else to describe a training technique where the guns where set to half power instead of no power and the sessions where upwards of 7 hours long, usually with one party unarmed, nobody pressed for more information, although Gerard looked like he wanted to, he probably decided it wasn’t worth him worrying about it until it started happening, she agreed, because one way or another it was going ahead.


	18. Chapter 18

Once they pulled up back at camp the sky was thankfully cooling down, and so had everyone’s adrenaline, Poison seemed to be doing unusually well at keeping a lid on his temper, Ray only looked mildly unwell and Frank was amusing himself with his guitar; Mikey was who she noticed, he’d sulked off to go and work on his bike as soon as he’d left the car, “I’m gonna go check on Kid” she muttered in the general direction of Gerard, he’d been busy trying to set up some kind of sleeping arrangement for Pony incase he didn’t want to bunk with Frank, he looked up though, blinking at her, running a hand through his hair before eyeing his brothers silhouette nervously, “and don’t worry about all that-” she gestured towards the makeshift tent he was trying to erect, “- worst case I’ll bunk with him and you can double with Frankie” she explained as continued to fuss with near to nothing, but he digested what she said and nodded finally, stopping and walking towards the fire, “let me know if he’s not okay” he requested before taking his place next to Funghoul, she gave a curt nod and continued off towards the younger man. Mikey heard her approach and came out from under his bike, he’d propped it up on two medium rocks and had been trying to fiddle with the oil for something to do other than wait around and feel shit, he had no idea what had gotten into him, “Hey” she soothed, sitting down next to him on the sand, he sat up now, but didn’t take his glasses off, staying hidden behind them, he gave a weak smile, “sup?” he asked, trying to sound nonchalant but failing to hide the crack in his voice, she opened her arms and watched him expectantly until he relented leaning into her for a hug, the affection almost too much for him to bare. “hey” she cooed, “what’s wrong?” she pressed as she heard him sniffle against her shoulder, she increased her grip on him in response, a reflex to keep him safe, “I put you all in danger back there” he muttered, angry at himself, “I don’t know why-” she shook her head to cut him off, moving to pull his head up so she could see herself staring at him in the reflection in his raybans, “Stop” she instructed firmly, “You didn’t do _anything_ wrong” she informed him, he went to interrupt her but she raised a hand, “Do you think Gerard was gonna let it go?” she asked him honestly, he chewed his lip, “Did _you_ break his wrist?” she carried on, sounding more amused, “You did next to nothing, other than get us out of there” she assured him, he nodded slightly trying to convince himself that she was right, “I mean it” she vowed, “I’d tell you if you’d done something as bad as you’re convincing yourself you have” she teased him slightly, before reaching up and pushing his glasses back into his hair, and looking at his eyes, tears where drying on his cheeks so she reached up and wiped them away, he blushed under her touch, she smiled, not being able to ignore the way he looked like his brother, “I don’t know what’s with you boys, blaming yourselves for stuff that’s not your fault” he rolled his eyes at her then, allowing himself to smile a little, “There are going to be more jerks like him” she warned him, “and I’m always gonna take your side too” she promised, he looked genuinely more settled at that, “You did good” she pecked a kiss on his brow, “come eat?” she requested, he chuckled quietly, “I’m not Gerard” he reminded her, “I’ll be over in a few” he swore, nodding back at his bike, she grinned wide, “thank god” she mumbled, “one of him is more than enough” Mikey’s face disappeared back under his glasses, and then under the shadow of his bike as he lay down on the ground, she shook her hair out and wondered back to the others, Poison was watching with a slight look of concern, “He’s fine” she told him honestly, “just felt a little guilty” she continued quietly when he continued to stare at her, she smiled genuinely, taking his hand as she sat by his side, Gerard shook his head, his red hair falling out over his eyes, “I don’t get why he’s so hard on himself” he grumbled, She looked at him smirking, “you can talk” she joked rolling her eyes, he ran his hands across his jeans unhappily but didn’t refute her, she wondered if he was still letting her take liberties because of the time she’d spent away or if he was actually starting to agree with her more, she didn’t have long to wonder because Kobra joined them, joking and starting dinner, they spent the rest of the evening relatively nicely, she ensured all the men ate well, before she turned her attention to making sure Ray was prepared for his stint with DD and that Frank was down to go on a food run the next morning, when she was satisfied with everything she insisted Gerard come to bed with her, thinking an early night might make Show Ponies arrival a more seamless transition the next day. “ _thank you_ ” she whispered as they crawled into their tent together, Poison shook his head in response, biting his lip as he listened to his brothers play quiet music outside, “It’ll do us both some good” he acknowledged before turning to face her, he pressed their bodies together before looking at her with concern in his face, “what’s wrong?” she pressed, shifting so she could hold him, he exhaled slowly, stroking her waist, his head propped up on his jacket “You don’t seem happy-” he said softly, “-about Pony coming” she sighed, understanding, “I am” she answered, “I’m kinda worried” she added honestly, he just looked at her urging her to explain, “I don’t want ya’ll getting into a fight” she explained, “he trains… hard” Gerard blinked, increasing the pressure he was putting her skin, “hard _how_?” he asked suspiciously, “Like he’s trying to hurt me” she responded, “but he means well” she justified, “and he’s not actively trying to kill me, it _does_ work, and it’s fair” she was quick to add to her explanation, “he’s not going to hurt you” Gerard interrupted, breathing out slowly, “He loves me” she replied, “and it’s not me I’m worried about” she added, not knowing what else to say, he nodded, not really agreeing but not saying anything to put her mind at rest, “he just likes to make sure” she murmured, “that I can look after myself” she pecked a kiss against Poison’s mouth, he groaned a little, “I get that” he allowed, “maybe we could all use a little training” she laughed then, “that’s what he’ll say” she warned, smirking, Gerard’s eyes lit up slightly in the darkness of their tent, “I’m sure we’re up to the challenge” he whispered, “You might regret getting involved” she pressed, he shook his head, his grin fading, “we wont fight him” he promised her suddenly, “if he’s not in a good place-” he continued, “-it’s not just shooting he’s coming for” he continued, she nodded, “ _I know_ ” she breathed, “I miss having him around” she soothed, Poison looked at her, his face brimming with affection before he leaned in and kissed her, “I never apologised” he murmured as he pulled away a little, his breath still warm on her cheek, “for?” she pressed, curious, “starting _another_ fight you had to finish” he answered, guilt in his tone, she shook her head, “you sound like your bother” she scolded, “neither of you did _anything_ ” he smiled slightly, “will you do something for me?” he whispered, she nodded, sensing how he was becoming more nervous now their conversation was ending and his need for sleep was clearly getting the better of him, “I’m gettin’ a little” he paused, his breath hitching, “ _I-Idont know_ ” he admitted shifting a little, she exhaled calmly, not interrupting as he blinked a little faster, “I-I-Ineed-” he began to get flustered, she hushed him softly, “I know” she assured him, moving her hands to his skin, rubbing it in kind circles, “I’m here” she began to reassure him quietly as he closed his eyes, “i'm not going anywhere” she continued, “get some sleep” she cooed, he forced out a breath a little harder than it should have been, “thank you” he murmured, the urge to breakdown, not quite strong enough to win this time, especially not with her holding him so close, being so relaxed and _kind._


	19. Chapter 19

She woke up when a car horn broke through the quiet of the early morning, Poison sat bolt upright, his hand on his holster, his eyes panic filled and straining, she turned to him instantly, “calm down” she instructed softly, his shoulders froze, she put her hand over his at his waist, feeling the hard shape of the gun he was gripping, “we’re fine” she pressed, he blinked, looking at her confused, still fogged with sleep, “Pony” she reminded him calmly, moving slowly so she could leave the tent. He put a hand on her arm to stop her, she turned round and planted a kiss on his mouth, he relaxed a little so she put her hands up onto his face, “Drac’s wouldn’t have announced their arrival” she teased quietly, he nodded, understanding, his hands moved then, she moved out of the way and allowed him to unzip the plastic shell they’d been sealed in side, she smiled a little at how cautious he was being as she followed behind him, she was surprised to see all the others awake, but the noise had been loud and it’d been an unusually high stress day, maybe they were all a little on edge, she couldn’t stop herself from beaming as she saw Show Pony, stood next to Ray handing him the keys in the dim light of the sunrise, it looked like it could’ve been 5am she mused, if he’d set off right away it must’ve been a 8 hour track out to them, he didn’t look too tired, she didn’t have more time to examine his features because she was being scooped up into a hug, he was pressing her against his chest and gripping her top a little too tight, “You’ve healed up nice” he commented, breathless as he released her,she laughed loudly, blushing a little, “ _I told you_ ” she mocked, rolling her eyes, “It looked worse than it was” she continued, Frank rolled his eyes as Gerard came up and pulled Show Pony in for a greeting, there hug didn’t last as long as the one she’d shared but Pony looked more comfortable after it was done, “Stay as long as you like” Poison muttered as he stepped back beside her, wrapping her arm around her waist, putting his hand in her back pocket. She leaned back into his embrace and watched the conversation as JetStar said his goodbyes and set off, Pony happily agreed to share the tent with Funghoul, her face was a picture of happiness, Gerard couldn’t stop staring, he’d been anxious the night before, but whatever she was going to do with the younger man would be worth it if it kept her smile looking like that he mused. “You should sleep” she instructed after a few more minutes of chatter, Show Pony rolled his eyes but kept grinning, “does she mother you all like this?” he jested, Frank chuckled as Mikey nodded, “someone has too” she refuted, grabbing his large duffle bag and throwing it over her shoulder as she carried it towards the tent, “and you’ve got it to yourself for now” she promised, dumping it inside, “Frankie’s going on a food run” she made eyes at the smaller man who mock saluted before turning to hug Kobra, “yes Ma’am” Pony teased, although he was already on his knees making his way into the shelter, “rest up” she whispered, her hand lingering on the zipper a little longer than it usually would have, “we’ll train later right?” he asked, looking at her through the mess of his hair, black and grown out. She nodded, “yeah” she closed the entrance to the tent, “we’ll train up later” she wondered back towards the gathering of men in time to see Frank take off on Mikey’s bike. 

 

 

_“come on Motor!”_ Pony demanded, he’d woken up, eaten, been down to shower, waited for Frank and now she was out of excuses, so she strolled towards him in the clearing about half a mile from their tents, near the small lake they’d been using to bath in, she blinked in the bright light before releasing Gerard’s hand as she came to about a meter in front of the waiting man, Show Pony was in his roller blades and had his long hair in a bun on top of his head, “I’m here” she whined, “and you need a hair cut” she added petulantly, Poison walked over to where Mikey and Funghoul where watching from sidelines, their backs up against a boulder, Frank was practically bouncing on the spot, a soda in his hand, his curiosity about to be quenched after years of wondering what this training could _possibly_ be like and how it made her so good. Party Poison wasn’t as excited, but he pulled on his sunglasses and smiled, nodding along to the conversation, “Set your gun to 45” Show Pony instructed her, she shook her head before Gerard could yell about how ridiculous that was, “20” she countered, “I’ve _just_ healed up” she complained, “ _oh yeah,_ I’m sure if you explain that to any dracs you come across they’ll understand” he mocked, sounding impatient, “25” she offered, fiddling with her gun, “you set yours to whatever you want” he laughed, “Mines at 40” he warned her, she shook her head, flicking her dial up to 40 to match, she shot a comforting glance at Gerard who’s knuckles where going white from where he was already clutching fists at his sides, desperate to interfere, “Set?” Show Pony yelled, checking, she rolled her shoulders once, before nodding, “Set” she answered, before she started dancing out of the way of his shots, the bright flashes of light came at her hard and fast, fuck he was still quick, she spun, ducking and lunging, raising her own gun, aiming it at his face, he countered, their blasts flaring as they hit each other mid air, “good” he praised, shooting lower now, trying to counter her legs, she evaded the shots effortlessly, walking towards him, before raising her gun and starting to fire, 1,2,3,4,5,6 in quick succession, the air smelt hot, she ducked once more as she came up to him, spinning quickly and holding her gun to his temple. He exhaled proudly, “nice” he commented, “now lose your gun, lets go again” he commanded, she nodded, catching a glimpse of Frank who’s mouth was open and wide with a smile, she kicked her gun over to Gerard who just watched it roll towards him, “Hey man” Mikey said, “you sure this is a good idea?” he pressed, probably so his brother wouldn’t, she raised a hand, “I’m good, lets go” she cut in confidently, she looked around, there were a few rocks on the floor she could use, and one tree with a branch that looked solid enough for some gymnastics, she smirked, this she enjoyed, “set” she announced, and her brother started shooting, she fell to the ground behind one of the boulders before jumping back to her feet, making her way towards him, all whilst avoiding the flashes of hot light, he wasn’t going easy on her she noticed, he sped up the firing as she continued towards him, she was quick stepping out of the way, moving her body to avoid being hit, her adrenaline was off the charts, but this wasn’t just a game of not being killed she reminded herself, she had to make him stop, she continued towards him, smiling a little now as she moved her hands to her jacket, spinning as she undid the zipper, dropping the leather to the ground, she smirked as his eyes trained in on chest, wondering what she was doing, “I hope all Dracs are as easily distracted” she teased, as she through a high kick at him, he countered her with a shot easily enough, laughing as she had to jump and land on the ground to avoid him, “You’re pretty” he allowed, “but not half as pretty as you’d need to be for that to work on me” he mocked, but she wasn’t on the ground behind him anymore, he turned to find her and couldn’t, “You hear that boys?” she called to Poison and the others, as she dropped down from the low hanging branch, landing on Show Ponies’ shoulders, “he thinks I’m pretty!” she yelled, her voice full of fake flirtation as she grabbed his head, signalling how she’d snap his neck if it where a real fight. He laughed loudly as she pulled herself up onto the branch again, “Nice work” he decided as she landed back to her feet, “go get your gun” he commanded, she nodded, panting now, she wondered to Poison, who passed her a water bottle, she drained it before putting her hand out for her gun, he looked a little reluctant, “I’m not keeping it” she muttered, “and we’re not going to be done here for a while” she told him honestly, you don’t have to keep watching” he shook his head, a little disbelieving, “if you can fight like that, I don’t think there’s much more he can teach you” Frank burst suddenly, “how did you get so good?” he continued, “Because it hurts to get shot at 45%” she answered honestly, “and the only way to stop him shooting is to make him stop” she explained, smiling, she went to walk away but Gerard grabbed her arm, “are you ok?” he asked sternly, “I’m good” she promised, kissing his cheek, “we’re just getting started” she told him honestly, “Hey!” Pony shouted, before he shot at her and Poison, she reacted instantly, pulling her own gun and countering it, causing the bolt that would have hit Gerard in the neck to flare in the air and fade about an inch infront of them, “I’m coming!” she replied, “Don’t get pissy” she warned, shooting at his head, he stepped out of the way as the others mumbled behind her, she held back a laugh as she heard a comment about Poison pissing himself. “Gun” Show Pony demanded, she rolled her eyes, “look after her” she instructed but she through her gun at her brother, who caught it easily, training both weapons at her, “the tree wont work again” he warned, she shrugged, unconcerned, “Wait!” Gerard shouted, clearly unable to bite his tongue, “Dude isn’t this a bit much?” he asked, clearly just on edge about the whole situation, not able to not say something. “Depends” Show Pony laughed shooting at her once, “how much have you let it slip Motor Baby?” he challenged raising an eyebrow, she stepped over his low shot effortlessly before running at the large boulder Poison was stood at with the others and using it to bounce off, flipping through the air as he continued to fire at her from both guns, she landed about 2 meters away from where she’d started but behind another boulder, she took a second to catch her breath before standing and running towards Show Pony, he almost hit her chest but she dropped to her knees landing on the jacket she discarded previously, she grabbed it, using it to block some more shots as she continued towards him, this dance lasted about 15 more minutes before she came up about a foot infront of him and grabbed both guns in her hands by the barrels and turned them back in on himself, “Okay” he panted, admitting his defeat, “but if these where firing full you’d burn your hands pulling that” she shrugged indifferently, “better burnt hands than dead” she countered, he nodded in approval, “and if you hadn’t had the jacket-” he continued, “I’d have been quicker on my feet” she allowed, “but if i’d had it, id have used it so” she explained, he nodded, “good girl” he complimented tucking a stray piece of her hair back behind her ear, “Your go” he muttered, handing her both guns, she nodded, taking them and aiming, she walked back a few paces before firing at Show Pony, she didn’t let him off easy, and if he had been at all out of practice, he didn’t let it show, he twisted and ducked and rolled across the dirt quickly and efficiently, he’d never really taken to his gun, so this was much more natural to him, evading the bullets and hand to hand combat was his forte, she held her own for a while but within 10 minutes he had his hand at her throat, “nice” she exhaled as they parted, “you kept up your practice” she noted, he looked away a little shyly, “gotta keep on top of it” he mumbled, “ready to go again?” he always looked a little ashamed when they’d run through the gun drills once, like he knew there was no real sense in repeating them, but it was a habit that made him feel safer, more confident in both their abilities, now she could actually stand a chance she didn’t seem to mind as much as she had when she was younger and less able. “Hand to hand or more with the guns?” she asked, letting him consider it, she hadn’t noticed the boy’s approach until now, but Poison was poised protectively behind her, “Hand to hand then back to guns after a few drills?” Pony suggested, his voice bolder now they had an audience, “yes boss” she agreed, passing the guns to Gerard who took them but still had an air of concern about him, she stepped away from his embrace before it could get any worse, “come at me” Show Pony decided after taking a drink from Frank, the others stayed closer this time, probably knowing there was no chance of a stray bullet, she nodded once before looking around, she wouldn’t normally just attack anyone who wasn’t coming at her so this always felt foreign, she stalked around him a little before jumping forwards and throwing a punch, he ducked quickly and began to actively fight her, this was more familiar, she almost smiled as he tried to trip her, he swung his legs under hers but she pressed down on shoulders and jumped, slamming him to the floor, he rolled as she dropped to where it would have been on top of him and they grappled a little in the dirt until she got just the right angle to pin his neck down with her forearm, she held him there until he have 3 firm taps, “good one” he praised genuinely as they stood up, she grinned wide, “you need to be more aware of your neck” she told him, “you’re focusing too much on taking me down and not on where I can get too” he nodded, taking in the feedback, “You’re not using your skills enough” he replied, “you can jump, and flip and shit” he continued, “the people you’re going to be fighting wont be expecting it” he added, she thought about that and looked around, there where ways she could have been more creative. “You’re right” she agreed, “again?” he asked, “I’ll come at you this time” he promised, she nodded, trying to pace back but she walked in Poison, she hadn't noticed he’d come back behind her, “rib?” he pressed quietly, concern plain on his face, “It's fine” she swore, “really” she added pecking a kiss, “out of the way” she said louder, waving her hands at Mikey and Frank, for once they didn't argue, just backed away slowly. She inhaled and watched as Show Pony ran for her, she moved quickly out of the way, too the left so she could throw herself at the large rock to counter his next move, as he lunged at her she rebounded, throwing herself over his head and landing behind him, she grabbed for his arms, managing to twist one behind him uncomfortably, he spun on his skates, using his free one to grab her throat, he pushed her against the boulder, she looked to the left and saw Gerard staring mouth open hand on his gun, but she smiled, throwing her knee up into Pony’s groin, flinging him back, she kept hold of his arm holding it above his head now as she pinned him to the surface he'd just been choking her against, she put her body against his legs to stop him repeating her move before quickly grabbing his other wrist as he jabbed it at her, she used that movement to bend his arm to the side, not enough to snap it but enough to where he'd know she could have broken it if she’d intended, “yield” he exhaled at last, “that was better” she said, letting him go and catching her breath, he nodded, “you can do better than arm tricks though” he raised a brow, “made you tap out” she teased, gasping for breath, he raised his brow but didn't argue, “plus, i’d break your arm first, then i’d have gotten you on to the floor and caved your head in with a rock” she smirked, taking water from a FunGhoul that was for once, lost for words, Show Pony just laughed, “Is she still kinda physco when she’s pissed?” he asked Poison, who seemed to snap out of his day dream, “a little” he acknowledged, allowing his hand to leave his holster, still watching her protectively, “that’s what I like to hear!” Pony enthused proudly before slapping her on the back, she assumed the others must have thought they where done by the way they where all relaxing, but they’d only been at work for about an hour, the sun was still high, and she could tell Pony had no desire to stop prematurely.


	20. Chapter 20

“Again!” Show Pony yelled, she was _tired_ now, they’d been going at it for approaching the seven hour mark, the sky was almost black, it was getting colder and she was lagging, that time he’d got her with a kick to the gut, that had sent her stumbling backwards onto the ground, she’d made a vain attempt to fight back but tapped out when he’d brought his knee to her throat; she retreated to Poison, taking _more_ water from Frank’s hand, the boys had scurried off at various intervals in the day, for food and to get more water, almost shocked that her description of the sessions length was accurate, Gerard hadn’t gone though, he’d stayed, silently watching, getting more and more wound up with every passing moment, now he grabbed her arm as she tried to go back to her brother, “enough” he muttered, “you’re losing” he half pleaded, she sympathised, she knew this wasn’t nice to watch, “Not much longer” she promised, kissing his cheek, “I can handle it” she added, he grimaced, clearly unhappy, even Frank looked uncomfortable, “Come on Motor Baby!” Show Pony called, “You’ll get into fights when you’re tired too y’know!” he chastised, “come get me” she shook her head as he raised his gun, she pecked a quick kiss on Party’s frowning mouth, “he’s gonna start shooting” she warned when he still didn’t let go, “and I can’t move to shoot if you don’t let go” she continued, as he still held on. “Dont get hurt” he surrendered miserably, letting go, just in time for her to throw him out of the way, the shot Pony had fired flaring against the rock where they’d been stood, she inhaled, using the last of her energy to run towards him, avoiding his shots and firing a few of her own, but she had no interest in using her gun really, she was too tired to bother aiming, so she came as close to him as she could before pulling the trigger one last time, aiming for his own raised weapon, the laser beam flashed hot and the metal object was flung from his hand, she’d actually caught him off guard, she could tell by his face, she smirked before she pushed her legs beneath his and flipped him to the ground, he tried to get up but she kicked him hard in the ribs, as hard as he’d hit her, before she dropped down, straddling his hips, putting her hands over his eyes, signally how she would press down and blind him if she’d had too, he gave 3 taps but she didn’t move, “done for day” she told him, he grumbled something she couldn’t hear, “Pony” she soothed, letting his head go, “we’re done for the day” she insisted, he gave a meagre nod, “and you’re gonna tell me what’s going on” she added as an after thought as she stood up, once she was on her feet she offered him her hand, he took it, standing with her, unusually quiet. “Just remember, that if you disarm someone like that you can’t use their gun later” he whispered, not acknowledging her change of subject, “and you remember” she countered, “that if you kick me in the ribs again, it might re-break, and I’ll have to kill you for real” Gerard was by her side again then, happy with her warning, “I had to know you could take it” Pony replied quietly, “dracs wont care that-” she raised a hand to stop him carrying on, “if I was fighting Dracs, I’d have used my gun” she pressed, “all these scenarios are just that” she looked kindly at the man now walking by her side, “Just because I can take a kick in the ribs doesn’t mean I should push my luck” he nodded, partly in agreement and partly because he could tell she was saying all this to stop Gerard from worrying too much, “once was enough” he assured her. “We’ll go again tomorrow?” he asked as they arrived back at the campfire. Poison looked horrified as she agreed, she broke away from the red haired man to follow Show Pony into his tent but he stopped her as she went to enter the plastic shelter along side him, he reached up for her face gently, stroking her cheek kindly, “tomorrow” he swore, “one more night to wallow” he joked, his eyes full of emotion, she sighed, her hand on his leg, “be up early, come find me” she told him, he nodded as she backed away a little, “we’ll go for a walk” he registered what she said and grinned, it looked fake but she didn’t expect anything less, “Sounds like a plan” he agreed, lying down in the dark, she shook her head and sealed him inside. When she turned round the three other men where sitting around the fire, making quiet conversation, she walked over calmly, before coming to a halt next to Gerard, he opened his arms for her to slide in beside him a little closer, she grinned as Mikey passed her a bowl of something tinned that he’d heated up for her. “thank you” she murmured as she ate, “well that was brutal” Frank commented at last, breaking the awkward silence she’d brought with her, “I told you” she replied quietly, “I think I did good though” she allowed, “especially with how out of practice I am” Frank’s jaw dropped, “You’re both fuckin’ monsters!” he enthused, “I wish I was that solid!” he continued, Gerard let out a little chuckle, seemingly happier now she was back in his embrace, “You train with us tomorrow then” she offered, raising her brow, more of a dare than an invitation, “Is there like a beginners one we can opt in for?” Poison altered, his own voice more humorous now, she rolled her eyes as Mikey nodded, “You’re a good shot” she retorted, “and you can all hold you’re own, you’d be fine” Frank bit his lip, “Easy for you to say” he muttered, she laughed louder at that, “It was Poison who said you could all use some training” she teased, Gerard raised his hands in surrender, “We could” Mikey inserted, his tone more serious, “it’d be dumb to not take the opportunity” he justified, “you really think we’d be okay?” he asked her directly, she smiled, scrapping the last of her food from the plate, “dude we can’t actually kill any of you on 40%” she reminded him, “and I wont let him do any damage” she jested, watching how Poison’s eyes where following her, “it’s instinct” she promised, “don’t get shot, and stop whoever’s coming at you” she explained, “the flips and shit come with practice” she allowed, “it’s a little overboard” Gerard muttered, “You wouldn’t be unarmed with two people shooting at you” he said, she stroked his knee calmly, “You can’t promise that” she soothed, not wanting to alarm any of the men, “say we’re fighting, and we get separated, my gun dies, or i’ve dropped it, I’ve got to make it back to you” she proposed, “or when I had to escape” she dropped her voice, “You think the Drac’s who weren’t knocked out in the blast weren’t shooting?” she sighed, “the training is half the reason I made it back in such good shape” she explained, Mikey smiled proudly and Frank looked more enthusiastic about being trained up a little, “That wont happen again” was all Gerard replied, his voice low, she shrugged calmly, “makes me feel better” she said softly, making brief eye contact with him, “and he let me off easy!” she laughed bitterly, “we used to do it blindfolded” she recalled, “bullshit!” Frank accused, “why would you do that?” he asked, still not believing, “incase there was gas or something that we couldn’t see through” she answered his question, “although it wasn’t as much a not getting shot drill” she remembered, “just how far you could get before it hurt too much” she giggled, “we were bored” she moaned, “what else where we meant to do all day at DDs?” she yawned, ignoring the way Frank and Mikey where now chattering loudly, “bed?” she whispered in Gerard’s ear, noticing how he was silent and staring off into the distance, her voice seemed to startle him a little but he gave a small nod, rising and leading her to their tent without a word to his brothers. 

 

Poison’s chest caved in as soon as he lay down in the sleeping bag they shared, his throat wracked with sobs he couldn’t hold back for another second, she soothed him the best she could as she crawled into the material with them, locking them inside to get any privacy they could, he grasped for her, not caring if his brother’s saw or heard him in that moment, reaching round to pull her into his chest, “i-i-” he hissed, “fuck-sorry” he panted, she shook her head, kissing him gently, shifting so she could stroke his back in large circles, she swallowed his cries as he held their lips together, “you’re alright” she promised him, pulling away but, keeping their contact firm, “j-just _seeing_ it” he explained as he tried to suppress more violent wails as they tried to rip through his lungs, “I know” she agreed, “I told you not to stay” she whispered, she’d known it wouldn’t do any good. “d-didhe?” he began to ask, she shook her head, “He wouldn’t hurt me” she assured him, “it’s just practice” she murmured, he nodded, trying to convince himself, his hands up round her waist now, “I’m alright” she hummed against the top of his head, he tried to settle in their position but couldn’t quite get the rhythm of his breathing, “we’re all fine” she continued, “I-I’mglad” he forced out between his choking breaths, “I’mgladyoucanfightsowell” he managed, “buti-” he sobbed, “Idontknowwhy” he added helplessly, she hushed him kindly, “You’re still on edge from yesterday” she reminded him, “fighting isn’t nice to see even when you know its fake” she justified, “and you didn’t get enough rest” she half scolded, tangling her hands in his hair now, “but it’s a good thing” she continued, “It’s nice to know I can still hold my own” she whispered, “and we’ll train you all up a little” she carried on as he swallowed more whimpers, his body shaking, “itrustpony” he whimpered, “butiwassoscared” he admitted, “seeingyou” he shook his head like he was tried to erase the memory, “ _seeingyoubeing_ -” she held him a little tighter as he resumed his uncontrollable crying, “Don’t think of it like that” she insisted, “it’s just _practice_ ” she cooed, he nodded, trying to agree but it didn’t make it easier to bare, seeing her being thrown to the ground or shot at wasn’t made better by knowing it was for a purpose, he shivered, “I know” she told him, “I know it’s a lot” she agreed, “but I’m yours, and I’m safe” she murmured in his ear, exactly what he needed to hear in that moment, he swallowed his bile, “ _breathe_ ” she instructed calmly, “deep and slow” she pressed, he obeyed as best he could, she was trailing her hands across his back, and he had to hold back the urge to purr at the contact, he wasn’t right, he knew something was wrong, he felt so vulnerable and weak, he hoped training a little himself would help make him feel stronger again, “good” she praised, bringing his attention back to her, “you’re doing good” she promised him, his eyes where shut but he hadn’t released his grip on her, she pecked his cheeks, wet and cold from tears and tasted the salt, “you need to sleep” she exhaled, “and we’ll see how the training goes tomorrow” she suggested, “Pony is taking me for a walk in the morning” she remembered, “so if you wake up that’s where I’ll be” she increased the pressure on his skin as she felt him tense, “we’re just going to talk about why he’s here” she told him gently, “like you said” she relaxed into their embrace a little more, “he didn’t just come here to fight”, Poison shuddered, unsure of why he was overreacting so much, he seemed to be making a habit, but now his body had done what it wanted he could feel the exhaustion he was feeling start to creep in, she was murmuring sweet things in his ear about how proud she was and how well he was doing, and although he wanted to disagree and point to this as an example of how pathetic he was still being he couldnt, he just, _couldn’t._ Pressed against her and tired all he could do was let his body sob, and listen to her voice be louder than his internal one until he drifted off to sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and feedback always appreciated!


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